These are their stories ~ Amanda Rollins

Baby

Amanda P.O.V:

1 week later....

As unexpected as it was I had my baby early. She was so beautiful and me and her were finally able to go home. She had to have regular check ups to make sure she's still healthy as she came early. Her birth was a huge surprise and a very painful one. I'm so glad to have Carisi and the squad with me as I went through one of the most exciting and scariest moment of my life.

"Hey Amanda, you ready to go meet the squad and go home with Jesse?" Carisi asks, snapping me out of my thoughts as he wheels a wheelchair into the room.

"Yeah I guess, I'm still so shocked this happened so quickly. It was kinda scary though and the pain... whoosh be lucky you font have to experience that shit." I laugh, carefully reaching over into the crib to get Jesse ready to leave. Her extremely small hand wraps around my finger. She's so beautiful.

"Umm.... You ready?" Carisi stammers.

"Um.. Yeah sure."

He wheels me out of my hospital room where I'm greeted by the squad. They all smile at me and talk about how beautiful Jesse is.

"May I hold her?" Liv asks.

"Yeah of course." I say, gently handing her over. This was very different. I've been a parent for less than a week, it's difficult but I'm very grateful for Carisi. I smile as Liv bounces Jesse so carefully.

"You ready to go out into the world Jesse? God she's so beautiful." Liv says, handing her back to me.

"Thank you." I say, smiling like a idiot.

"We good?" Fin questions a nurse approaching us.

"Okay... Amanda Rollins and Jesse?"

"Yeah that's me and this is Jesse." I speak, showing the nurse Jesse's name bracelet. I sign the discharge papers and lean back.

"Ha now we can get out of here. They've kept me here a week already."

"Yes Amanda, just hold on. You had a placental abruption right? You went into shock. You almost died." Liv explains bringing memories of the birth back.

"Yeah but I'm fine and I don't need this wheelchair." I argue, attempting to stand up.

"Whoah Whoah, take it easy." Everyone says in unison as Liv and Carisi get me to sit back down.

"We don't want you to drop the baby." Fin explains worriedly.

"Exactly." Carisi chips in.

"Okay, let's just get out of here." I laugh.

*****

Next morning I woke up to the sound of Jesse screaming her head off. I stumble out of bed and retreat to her crib.

"Hey baby, its okay. Mummy's here for you sweetie." I coo. She continues screaming while I try to figure out what's she needs or wants.

"Come on Jesse, what do you need?" I ask rhetorically, knowing she was unable to answer me. I was so exhausted and don't want to do this at 2am. I try to feed her but she doesn't want any food. She doesn't need changing, what does she need?!

"Please be quiet Jesse." I whisper tearfully.  I wish I had someone here to help me. I reach for my phone while bouncing Jesse to try and make her be quiet. I debate whether or not to call someone to come over and help me out. I'm really struggling and they did say, call if you need anything. The only problem is that it's the early hours of the morning.

"Fuck it, I'm calling Carisi." I mumble to myself in my half asleep state.

"Carisi?" I speak down the phone.

"Yeah, Amanda you alright?" He asks, still half asleep.

"No, Jesse won't shut up and I don't know what to do. I'm really sorry I called you, it was my last resource I guess." I say, tiredly.

"It's fine I wasn't properly sleeping anyway. Do you want me to come over and help out?"

"Ummm, yeah if you don't mind...." I, trail off.

"Yeah of course, I'll be over in 10."

I hang up and rock the insistent crying baby in my arms. I wait impatiently for Carisi to get over here.

10 minutes later and someone knocks on the door. I take Jesse, still screaming, to the door and look through the peep hole. It's carisi. I open the door and smile weakly.

"Hey." He says.

"Hey, umm come in." I say, inviting him in.

He's dressed in a grey t-shirt and light blue jeans, his hair swept back and a beautiful bright smile despite it being 2:30 in the morning.

"Amanda, give Jesse to me and you get in the shower." Carisi suggests.

"No, it's fine I don't want to -"

"Go, I'll be fine." He smiles.

I hand him Jesse and explain where everything he will need is located. He nods and cradles Jesse in his arms. I go into my bedroom and soon hear the sound of crying getting quieter and quieter. I strip off and get in the shower. I finally have time to myself. I love Jesse with my whole heart but being a single mother is a hard job. Once I get out of the shower, I grab some dark blue pyjamas, underwear and a pair of fluffy black socks. When I get back to the living room, I see Carisi snuggled up with a now sleeping Jesse.

"Thank you so much." I whisper.

"Your welcome, I'm here for you remember that Amanda. I'll go put Jesse in bed." He said as I direct him to her nursery.

When he comes back he sits back down. I move closer to him and smile.

"You want a drink or....?" I say, slightly nervous. I can hear his heartbeat and feel his breath on my neck.

"Nah, I'll be alright." He says, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I smile and look at his stunning face. Just like that, we both lean in and press our lips together. Neither of us really expected it to happen, it just happened. When we pull away, I feel really awkward.

"Uh.. I'm sorry.." I say, stuttering. "I don't know what happened i just.." He placed one of his fingers against my lips as pulled me in for a second kiss. It was at this moment everything seemed to just stop. Happiness I haven't felt in a long time spreading through my body. I finally felt happy. Proper happiness. Having Jesse was so amazing and now this. When we pull away I smile and rest my cheek on his shoulder.
Proper happiness.