These are their stories ~ Amanda Rollins

Telling

Carisi's P.O.V:
I arrive to work on time and place a box of doughnuts on the corner of my desk. 

"Who wants one?" I ask, alerting the squad of my arrival.

 A group of people head towards me, with the exception of Amanda. I haven't spoken to her since yesterday when she freaked out on me, she looks upset and a little uneasy. Once everyone had returned to the desks, I make my way over to Amanda.

"Hey you okay?" 

"Okay guys, we are going to have to have a quick meeting about this case. It's a very high risk case so we need to all know where we stand and what we are doing." Olivia demands.

"Talk later." Amanda whispers, heading over to the meeting area. 

I walk over to where the meeting is being held and wait patiently for Sarg to start talking. Although I'm supposed to be focused on today's objectives, I find myself glancing over at Amanda. She looks really out of it, like something is really bothering her. I really need to talk to her about yesterday. Suddenly, she shakily stands up and makes her way to the bathroom quickly. Olivia watches her jog to the bathroom and looks back at me with a concerned glance. I shrug it off and wait for her to stop talking so I can go check Amanda's okay. 

"I think I'm going to see if Amanda's okay, she doesn't look so well." Olivia explains, once she has concluded the meeting. 

"No it's okay, I got it." I say hesitantly before going to the bathroom. 

I push the door open slowly and cringe when I can hear her puking. I make way to the cubicle and knock quietly on the door.

"Hey Amanda, can I come in?"  I ask, alerting her to my presence. 

I hear the click of the cubicle door indicating it has been opened. She goes back over to the toilet and throws up again. I carefully kneel down next to her and tie her hair back into a ponytail. Rubbing her back in gentle circles, I attempt to comfort her. Once she stops being sick, she props herself again the wall. She looks at me as tears spill down her cheeks before she starts trying to explain what's going on. 

“I really messed up Carisi, I’m pregnant.” She explains through the tears. 

“Surely that’s a good thing Amanda, your going to be a mother.” 

“I don’t know, i’ve just messed up everything.” 

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. You need to try and calm down before you make yourself sick again okay? Come over here.” I soothe. 

She comes and sits down next to me, sobbing into my shirt. I hold her close to me letting her express her emotions freely without her having to tell me anything. I took her shaky hand into my own and gave it a gentle squeeze, her sobs muffled into my shirt. A tiny lapse in her breakdown gave her a minute to catch her breath and calm down a little. 

“You wanna talk about it?” 

“It was back when we had the blizzard a month or two ago and me and Declan were snowed in together and it just happened….” 

“I know what you mean, you don’t have to say anything else - I get it. After all, this is your choice whether or not you want the baby or whatever but just remember I’m here for you and I will support whatever decision you choose to make. Now, how about we get you all cleaned up and head back to the squadroom?” 

She nods her head as I pull her onto her feet and grab some tissue for her. She flushes the toilet and goes and washes her hands. 

"See you in a minute, I'll go tell Liv that your sick so she will leave you alone if that's what you'd like." I smile, excusing myself. 

She nods in approval and I walk out of the bathroom. I head over to my desk and remove the empty donut box as I see Olivia approaching me. 

"She okay? You were gone a while…" Olivia says, expressing her concern. 

"Yeah she's good, she's just sick...stomach bug i think. She was throwing up so I sat with her until she felt a little better."

"Oh poor thing, could you take her home? I don't want her getting home herself if she's that sick." 

"Yeah of course." 

I watch Amands stumble.out of the bathroom and I head over to tell her the good news. 

"Liv is giving you the rest of the day off, I told her you were sick and she agreed with me that you should go home. I didn't tell her anything but what I told you I'd say." 

"Thank you so much Carisi, I'm so glad she fell for it." She chuckles. 

"Yeah me too, if gives you time to work things out. Now let's get you out of here."