Fighting Fate

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BEN'S POV

"It went everywhere!"  She laughed, her long locks cascading down her back.

I chuckled, my eyes warming as I took her in.

We were exhausted, beyond exhausted. It's strange how time breaks barriers. After hours of walking, we became too tired to let our usual tension consume us. So we began swapping stories, telling corny jokes and laughing at absolutely nothing. 

The sun had risen high and hot, and the light turned a rich gold as it began to sink again. 

"We should set up camp,"  I said eventually, as we neared a clearing.

We gathered wood and leaves, and soon a fire burnt bright and warm in front of us.
Carrie's stomach grumbled loudly and my wolf howled to help her.

"We need to hunt."

She shook her head, we can't shift together, and I can't hunt."

My eyes widened in surprise, "you never learned?"

She sighed, her green eyes reflecting flames. "I just can't do it. I can't, it's."

I let her trail off, Carrie admitting a weakness was rare. 

She was too compassionate to kill without just cause.

A warrior afraid to kill.

My heart swelled with a feeling I refused to place as I looked at her.

I stood, "I'll go, I'll shift far enough away from you, hunt, shift back. Then I'll meet you here."

I was gone before she could protest, and less then an hour later, I roasted a pheasant on the fire for her. I'd eaten in wolf form, tapping into my primal instincts.

"Carrie?"

"Mmm?" She hummed, looking up at the stars.

"Why did you become a guardian?"

She smiled, a strange mix of fond remembrance and sadness lighting her face.

"After I lost Matt, I didn't want to join a new pack. I was so angry, I'd fight every night at the gym's ring. Eventually, a guardian saw me, they offered me a job. I said yes."

My wolf growled and my voice came out in gruff curiosity.

"Matt?"

Her smile widened as she remembered, "my best friend. We were in the same pack. One day we were attacked by rouges. They, he, he didn't make it."

I took in a sharp breath.

"I didn't want my family to leave the pack, but once Matt was gone, I decided I couldn't stay. My parents wouldn't let me leave alone. So we all moved together. I've lost track of how many times Megan's called me selfish for making her move. I became a guardian, my parents got new jobs. And I didn't look back."

I turned my head away from the sky to look at her.

"That's why being a guardian means so much to you. You fight away rouges."

She nodded softly, "I was too late to save him, but, but maybe I can help save somebody else's Matt."

She sighed and a star rushed across the sky quickly.

"And that's why you were so angry I made you join my pack."

She let out a warm breath,

"You can't lose a pack member if you aren't part of a pack."

I shook my head. My head hurt as things began fitting into place.

"I'm, I'm so sorry about Matt, Carrie."

She shook her head softly, shrugging as she looked up at the sky.

There was a long, pregnant pause, then suddenly she spoke up again.

"I'm tough Ben. I can kick ass, I could probably kill you if I really wanted to."

Her voice was hard. "I can spill blood, I was the best guardian on the force," she rolled her eyes, ranting out a list of her qualities.

"I'm sarcastic as hell, no one takes a shot at me. Ever. I get them first, it's so easy, I even make them smile while I do it. I don't cry. "

Her eyes were still glued on the stars but I wasn't sure she was even seeing them anymore.

"I look tough."  she took a shaky breath, her voice suddenly a tired warm tremble, "I'm broken Ben. I'm, so, so, broken."

I closed my eyes, her pain, which was seeping through the link, pulled at my cells. I couldn't breathe it hurt so much.
Her pain. This was her pain.

My head swam as her grief seemed to bruise my insides. I pulled her into me, and I felt a single teardrop onto my shirt. The night sounds seemed to consume our clearing, and Carrie kept her head on my chest.

"I've been training my whole life for a crown I don't want."

She glanced up at me, I met her eyes then glanced back at the sky. My voice a resigned sort of acceptance.

"Dante was brought into the family when we were twelve or so, he trained, but not the way I did."

My head filled with a million memories of my entire body burning with pain and exhaustion.

"The future king doesn't eat until the arrow hits the mark," I whispered.

She lifted up a little to look at me,

"they did that to you?"

I nodded, shrugging, "it made me strong."

She let out a low growl, "you were just a boy!"

Our eyes met, mine, soft and searching. She was angry for me. Always so full of emotion.

"I'm sorry Ben. If I had been there,"

I smiled, "You'd kick ass for me?"

She nodded, the image of twelve years old us beating up the guards and escaping making us smile.

She settled back down on my chest. My hand came up to head, stroking her chocolate waves lightly.

We fell asleep like that.