a hell called home (completed)

the only way out

adam's pov
ahdjsjdjsjj trigger warning. y'all can skip this if you want.

david dropped me off at my friends house. i said a quick thank you before leaving the car. i knew what was coming next. the next and last chapter in my book of life.

i opened up the door. nobody was home.
of course they weren't. there was a football game. i had time.

i set my bag down and walked to the bathroom and turned on the tub. i let it run until it was full.

i looked around the room and my gaze fell on the mirror. i looked at myself. a black eye was forming and the cut on my face all looked distasteful. there were dark bags under my eyes and tears staining my cheeks. i am disgusting. i deserve to die. is this what i want, though? to never see if max wakes up?

he's never going to wake up.

oh yeah, a note. i grabbed the prewritten note in my wallet. i'd been planning this for a long time now.

to whomever it may concern.
if you're reading this, you probably know what happened to me. the truth is, i've wanted this for a long time. max made me forget about that, but... he's not here anymore. grandpa, it looks like i'll be seeing you sooner than expected. it's alright though. we always knew it was going to end like this. david, gwen, pauline. i know this isn't what you would have wanted. i'll say hi to max for you. it's alright if you all just forget about me. i mean, you probably would anyway. i'm not really memorable or special in any way. i'm just some kid. one kid less in the world. nikki and neil, i know your life is about to have some big changes in it. you can make it through this though. neither of you are like me. you're strong. you can get through anything. you're both very bright. and to max, my love, i'll see you soon. i'm sorry.

love, adam.

i set the note on the countertop in the bathroom.
this is it.

It's a disgrace, I was misplaced
Born in the wrong time and in the wrong place
It's OK though, 'cause you'll see me soon
You'll know when your time has come, just look at the moon

As it shines bright throughout the night
And remember everyone's facing their own fight
But I can't deal with the pain, I'm not a fighter
You'll make it through the night, just hug your pillow tighter

i went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from one of the drawers.

So let the world know, that I died in vain
'Cause the world around me, is the one to blame
And I know in a year, you'll forget I'm gone
'Cause I'm not really something to be dwelled on

i walked back into the bathroom and sat down in the cold water. my body was shaking. it's okay. it'll be over soon.

That's what they used to tell me, all those kids at school
So I'm going by the law "majority rules"
My presence on this earth is not needed any longer
And if anything, I hope this makes you stronger

i think of everyone as i carve into my wrists. this is it. it's the end now. the last chapter in my story. are you satisfied with how it ends? i know everyone else is. everyone is going to forget me. it's okay.

You're the best friend that I ever had
Such a shame I had to make you so very sad
But just remember that you meant everything to me
And to my heart, you're the only one that held the key

max. my best friend. my love. i know you'd be disappointed in me. it's okay. i'll see you soon. would you still be friends with me after i told you that i love you? or would you be disgusted too...

Now it's time to go, I'm running out of space to write
And yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight
I'm watching over you from the clouds above
And sending down the purest and whitest dove

to anyone who is reading this... i know things are really hard right now. life is difficult and it feels like the end. trust me, it's not. you can make it through this. i know it. stay strong. keep fighting. your life.. it is so meaningful. i have never met anyone who wasn't important in some way.

To watch over you, and be my helpful eye
So this is it, world, goodbye."

the world around me slowly got darker. this is my end. my final chapter. i don't want to live anymore... without max... i am nothing.

max....
max......
i smile at my last thought as the water gets warm and i get very tired.
max....