Star Crossed

Chapter Eighty- Feeling the consequences

The morning after the ball many of the students were preparing to take the eleven am train back to their families for Christmas but for the likes of me and Tom... we had no family to return to. My Aunt Gavina was the only person I had left and she was in Paris for a fashion show that was to be featured in the next issue of Witch Weekly. But in all honestly I did not mind I much prefered to stay at Hogwarts now the holidays, long gone where the days of family christmases. 
At half ten I had made my way to the front entrance to bid Lazarus and Wiglaf farewell but Lazarus had struggled to even look at me. 
Wiglaf took me to one to side of the hall out of the sight of Lazarus and the sea of other excited students. 
"He will soften over the holidays," he reassured me but yet his face was a little colder than usual. 
"And you?" I replied tilting my head to the side as I look at him. 
"Me," He furrowed his brows. "What of me." 
"Will you soften over the holidays?" I asked. 
"I do not know what you mean Grisha, I am not showing you any coldness." He replied bluntly, I scoffed. 
"You are not happy." I replied simply, he sighed at this and dropped his head for a moment before bringing his gaze back up to face me. 
"I am concerned." He replied his voice little more than a whisper. 
"It was just a dance..." I breathed. 
"Was it?" Wiglaf replied. "I know how you feel about him." 
At this a felt my cheeks flare with heat, I wanted to turn away but to do so would serve only to confirm Wiglaf's suspicions. 
"I..." I sighed, did I even have the strength to lie anymore. "We all care about one another." I replied. "It is only natural for us to become close, you three are my family." the truth of those words fell upon me. "Without you I have nothing... I love all three of you." I added sincerely. 
Wiglaf's face softened a sad look hidden behind his grey eyes. 
"There is loving someone Grisha... but there is being in love there is such a distinct difference. I fear for you, my sister... Riddle will do whatever it takes to protect himself and reach his goals... he will allow nothing and no one to stand in his way... He is afraid and people who are afraid do terrible things. Take care Grisha, Happy Christmas we will all rejoin within the new year." 
I nodded... "A safe journey to you Wiglaf... Happy Christmas..." I whispered, he nodded to me and made to walk away. 
"Wiglaf," I called, he turned around to face me. 
"Tell Lazarus Happy Christmas for me..." I whispered, he nodded. 

The holidays passed by in a lonely blur, I had spent my Christmas day at the Great Hall feast with the Professors and the few remaining students... apart from Tom. I had not seen Tom since the night of the ball. I was angry, I was angry at him for making me feel the way that I did. I was angry that he refused to let me in and at the same time I found myself missing his insufferable arrogance, missing his sarcasm... missing him and that pained me. 
  It was now New Years Day and I had spent the previous night unable to think of anything other than Tom... it was his birthday and this would be the first year since our friendship that I had not so much as wished him a Happy Birthday... I had lay wondering how he was spending it... why? Why did I care!
I decided to make my way down to the dungeons as Professor Slughorn had offered to give me some prior knowledge of the next terms curriculum. Potions was after all my favourite subject, the bubbling of the cauldron, the soft heat from the flames it was all so calming. A time to focus on nothing but the task at hand. 
I bowed my head as I wrapped my cloak around myself, the dungeons were so cold this time of year, so focused on keeping warm I failed to watch exactly where I was going causing me to walk into something quite solid. I looked up to see that I had bumped into no other than Riddle, this was the first time that I had saw him since the night of the ball just over two week ago now. I needed to leave, the more that I looked at him the more that I longed to speak with him but he did not deserve my attention. I clenched my jaw and went to continue to walk passed him but a strong arm stopped me. I bit my lip and took a deep breath without turning around I whispered, 
"Let me go Riddle." 
"You know you really should apologise for not watching where you are going McLaggen." 
"I'm sorry," I whispered still staring at the darkness drowning the end of the corridor ahead. "I'm sorry that you where still invisible to me it must not have worn off yet from the last two weeks." 
"I sense hostility Grisha." Tom replied, his voice made the goosebumps on my arms raise up. 
"And I sense avoidance." I replied coldly. 
"Avoidance is caused by fear, I have nothing to fear." he replied silkily. 
"I do not have the will your silly word games anymore Riddle, going round and around in circles." I sighed trying my best not to look at him for I knew that when I did I was vulnerable. 
"Games," he replied, the way in which he said it made the hairs upon the back of neck stand on end as I felt him move his arm and move around me. I could feel his presence draw nearer before I felt his warmth and the tickle of his breath upon my ear. 
"I never really any good at playing games... you see... I could never play nicely." I could sense the smirk upon his lips as I took a deep breath. 
"Nobody ever taught you how." I breathed. 
"Maybe I never wanted to learn." he replied. 
"I do not believe that there has ever been anything that you did not wish to learn" I breathed. 
"Look at me." he demanded, his voice was sharp but yet it was not threatening... yet. 

Willing myself not to I reluctantly obeyed and turned around to face him, he looked paler than usual. He had deep dark circles around his eyes, a strangely hollowed look to his handsome face. He looked almost ghost like. 
"Gryffindor and Slytherin's heir... destined to be at war with each other just like their ancestors." he tilted his head as he gazed down at me.
"I do not wish to be at war with you Tom." I sighed shifting my gaze from his haunting eyes. 
"And yet the fates may give us no choice." he sighed. 
"There is always a choice." I replied. "Before our houses were enemies they were the most powerful duo their was. Bravery and Ambition, Recklessness and cunning." 
Suddenly Tom's eyes seemed to gloss over, his skin became is possibly paler and there appeared to be a thin layer of sweat upon his forehead. Something was not right.
"Tom..." I breathed narrowing my eyes to better see him through the gloom, he did not respond.
"Tom... Tom are you alright?" I asked hesitantly taking a step towards him. It was then that he jumped back to reality looking shaken. He backed away from me a little unsteady without his usual gracefulness. 
"Yes." He said quickly but his voice did not hold its usual strength. 
"No... I don't think you are..." I whispered. "You look as if you are going to-" but before I could finish Riddle's hand flew up towards his head with a grimace before his legs gave way beneath him. Instinctively I threw myself towards him supporting his arms as I held him as upright as I could. Before he suddenly regained enough strength to stagger away from me and towards the wall of the corridor were he leaned both of his hands against it his head bowed. 
"What's wrong?" I asked, panic beginning to set in. I had never seen Tom like this... was he ill? Was that why he had been gone for the last two weeks? 
"Are you unwell?" I pressed when he did not answer me. 
"No." He replied in a horse voice which betrayed him entirely. 
"You're lying to me." I replied bluntly. 
"I am fine." He hissed. 
"You know, you don't have to be fine all of the time." I cocked my head to one side as I reached up to move a piece of stray hair from his face. 
"Don't touch me." He gasped in pain grabbing a hold of my wrist weakly before quickly letting it go returning it to the wall for support before he regained enough strength to stand unaided again. I backed away from him holding up my hand in defeat, he looked at me with a strange expression. 
"I..." He began but quickly stopped himself. 
"Goodnight Riddle." I sighed, I had wanted to help him it was killing me to walk away from him like this but I knew that this was a battle I could not win.