To Love Somebody

10. accismus

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accismus - feigning disinterest in something while actually desiring it 

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Zander kept his eyes on Natalie, though she hadn't met his gaze once.

After three days of calling in sick to work, she'd finally come in today. And done everything to avoid him the two times he'd tried talking to her earlier that day.

She kept scribbling notes into her notebook, pausing and asking questions. Yet not once acknowledging him.

Zander was impatient. He needed to talk to her.

Because the mistake he'd made, the mistake they'd made, it could never happen again.

He played with his pen, spinning it as he waited impatiently for the meeting to be over.

Zander finally looked away, tearing his gaze from Natalie as she stared down at the notebook, pretending to be paying attention to whatever Spencer was saying before dismissing them.

"Chris said he's picking a partner next month, right before his retirement."

Zander huffed, glancing at Spencer before looking back at Natalie, who got up as fast as she could and was out the door before he could stop her.

Normally, the slightest mention of anything to do with becoming a partner would've piqued Zander's interest.

But right now, spades of guilt irked him.

"Oh. Has he said anything?" Zander tried probing further. "Like about me?"

"Not really." Spencer shrugged, carelessly. "How's the case going?"

"Fine. I guess." He mumbled. "I don't even know why I went into fraud. Should've done something easier."

Zander gathered his notes, stuffing them into a folder.

Spencer easily laughed it off. "Well, it's better than taking on a divorce case."

"Misha's already always complaining about how much extra time these cases take. And something about being a workaholic. I doubt she'd be ecstatic if I started doing divorce cases. Those cases are the worst to deal with." Zander glanced at his watch. A little after four.

He's was taking Misha out for dinner later and he'd promised to home by five. Otherwise, he'd hear a mouthful, again.

"I gotta go. I need to talk to Natalie before I leave." Zander stood, grabbing his files before adding and repeating. "About the case. I need to talk to her about the case."

"Yea. I'll try talking Chris again."

Zander nodded a thanks, a small appreciation on his way out.

He pulled on his tie, loosening the red-and-white striped knot as he made his way over to Natalie small office.

Right in the corner, next to the large conference room.

He knocked, once.

He raised his hand again, to knock, wishing she could hurry up and they could get this conversation over with.

The door opened slowly, like she didn't have a care in the world. 

"I'm almost done–" Natalie looked up, eyes widening in shock before she smiling, pretending that everything was fine. That she was in control. Even though she wasn't.

She'd avoided him all day. She hadn't glanced at him, not once during the hour long meeting. Not even when she'd felt his dark gaze on her the entire hour.