To Love Somebody

20. to lose someone

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New York City, please go easy on this heart of mine
'Cause I'm losing my lover to the arms of another

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Misha sat on the sofa. The house was silent. It was a silence she had come to hate.

Gone was Zander's laugh. Gone was the shuffling of papers as Zander complained that she had misplaced his things again. It was all because Zander was just gone.

The past few weeks had been hell for her. Her life had completely fallen apart. And she didn't even know where to start. Where could she start so she could put the pieces back together?

She missed him. She missed him, so very dearly. Sometimes at night, she still cried and begged for him to come back to her. Other times, she felt a sense of hopelessness. Maybe it was her fault?

How hadn't she noticed that Zander was slipping away from her? It had to be her.

Then, she would remember Natalie, someone who she had only met a few times. So cheerful and smart and beautiful.

And then, she couldn't help but hate herself more.

Maybe she just wasn't enough anymore. Enough for Zander to still want her.

"Ugh." She cried out first in fear and then in excitement as she quickly placed a hand over the baby bump.

No matter what, she knew what she had to do.

She may not have been good enough for Zander. Or maybe Zander wasn't good enough. Which, Misha wasn't too sure yet.

Nonetheless, she smiled as she felt her daughter move for the first time.

And she vowed to be good enough, good enough for her daughter.

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"Have you been ignoring me?" Nathan cornered Misha as she clocked out, ready to head home from another day of work.

He watched with furrowed eyebrows as her cold eyes glazed over him.

Misha huffed before offering him a fake smile. "Is there anything I can help you with Dr. Peralta? Last I checked, we don't have any pediatric patients on this floor today."

"Cut the crap Misha." Nathan sighed in irritation. For days, Misha had been ignoring him. It wasn't as simple as sitting at a different table during lunch break. Rather, she turned and walked away as soon as she saw him. Every time he called out to her, she pretended to be busy and acted as though she hadn't heard him asking for her. He finally questioned. "At least tell me why you're mad at me?"

"Ouch." His eyes widening as she flung her hand at him, pushing away the hand he had placed on her shoulder. Her nails clawed at him as though she wanted to hurt him.

"Are you sleeping with Julia?" Misha tried to hide the anger in her voice but she couldn't.

She quickly put her ID into her bag and gathered her things.

"Huh?"

She narrowed her eyes as he looked her, confused.

"I really don't care who you're dating but please leave me out of it." She mumbled, rolling her lower lip between her teeth. "I trusted you. I told you about my husband and the cheating. And you told her."

"And all of a sudden, the whole floor laughs as me." Her words cracked as a sob became stuck in her throat. Just thinking about Zander made her want to cry. "Everyone knows he left me for someone else."