What The Heart Remembers - The Heart #2 (Complete)

Chapter 7 - Part 1

Adonis

It was difficult being around her all the time. I wanted to keep her close to keep a eye on her but it was also wreaking havoc on my emotions.  She had taken me by surprise when she had sat down beside me on the sofa. When she leaned into me and lay her head against my shoulder. The emotions that I had been trying to smother for months tried to break free. The sweet smell of her hair had made it nearly unbearable. What I'd been watching faded to the background as every sense of mine tuned into each slight movement from her.

It had been pure torture. That night I had to have a cold shower and I lay awake staring up at the ceiling wondering how I was going to cope with being so close to her and not lose control.

So close but so far. I didn't want to rush her into something she was uncomfortable with but I wasn't sure I had the strength to do the right thing. She deserved it but I wasn't a saint.

The next day I tried to keep my distance. It made it easier to deal with my feelings for her. I had been sitting on the bed giving myself a much needed break from her company when I had felt as if someone was watching me. When I had peered over my shoulder I had seen Lacey standing in the doorway to my bedroom watching me.

It had been unexpected. Our eyes held. The pull to her was strong but I resisted telling myself I was doing it for her. Her expression was hesitant. I wanted to gather her in my arms and press my lips to hers. Needing to revel in memories that were possibly lost for her forever.

But I didn't.. I didn't hold her in my arms and press my lips to hers like I wanted. Instead I pulled my eyes from her and stared out the window. Hearing her retreat I felt a pang of guilt for shutting her out even though I knew I was doing the right thing. The surgery should have been the hardest part but it wasn't. This, living day in and day out, without her was my own personal hell.

Later I had taken her to see Dr. Clark and he had lectured her for drinking while taking her medication. She'd taken it without complaint, she knew she'd been putting herself at risk.

The hour with the shrink took its toll on her. By the time I got her into the car and we were on our way back to my house she was exhausted. My protectiveness came out in full force at the sight of her pale face as she leaned her head against headrest.

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. I drove back in silence, throwing the occasional side glance in her direction to check on her.

It was only when I parked outside the front of the house did I realise I was in a little bit of a predicament. She was so peaceful with the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slept oblivious to the decision I was dealing with. I could wake her up but after the day she'd had she needed the sleep and I didn't want to wake her. That left me with the only alternative. I'd have to carry her into the house. I got out the car as quietly as I could. I unlocked the front door before going back to my car and opening the door to the passenger side.

As I reached for her I felt that familiar pull to her but this time I wasn't fighting it as picked her up in my arms and held her close. For a brief moment I hugged her close, breathing her in before I carried her to her room.

She murmured softly was I lay her down on her bed. Still sleeping she hugged her pillow tightly as I stood watching her. Reaching down I trailed my fingers against her cheek. She was so beautiful and I allowed myself to allow my emotions to break through to the surface as I gazed down at her taking in every fine feature of her face. I pulled my fingers from her skin. The separation felt like a sear of pain in my heart.

With one last lingering look and a deep breath I released sharply I left her room before I did something I'd regret.

I busied myself in the kitchen with dinner while Lacey slept. I was pretty sure she'd be hungry when she woke up. I grabbed a couple of steaks. While the meat sizzled in the frying pan I cut up a salad. When I placed the steaks on the plate Lacey entered the kitchen still rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"It smells so good," she murmured as I switched off the stove.

I put both plates down on the small table in the kitchen as she pulled in the chair across from me.

"I'm so hungry," she murmured with a smile which hit me like a sledgehammer to the heart. The smallest action from her could tip my world upside down.

We ate in an awkward silence.

"You feeling better?" I asked softly trying to break the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Much better," she replied. She paused for a moment as she seemed to be contemplating something. "How am I going to go to therapy if I've got to go with you on tour?"

"I've organised with her to carry on the sessions virtually."

I had spent a lot of time figuring out how to continue getting her help while still keeping her close to me.

Unable to eat anymore I shoved my plate away and leaned back in my chair slightly.

"That was great," she said as she finished the last of her food.

"Anytime," I said getting up and reaching for her plate.

"No," she said stopping me. "You cooked, the least I can do is the dishes."

"Sure."

I watched as she took the dishes to the sink. Watching I contemplated what our lives could be like if we could just get back to what we had shared before.

She finished the task and turned to face me as she dried her hands. My gaze held here. She stilled.

Fighting my internal battle I stood up and took a step towards her. In my mind I kept thinking of every reason to walk away and not give into the urge to throw caution to the wind. I wanted to kiss her so badly. My eyes dropped to her lips as the edge of her tongue swept across her bottom lip.

I lifted my eyes to hers. It was torture.

"Don't look at me like that," I finally said.

"Like what?" she asked innocently but she knew exactly what I meant.

"Like you want me to kiss you."

She didn't deny it and my heart began to race.

"What if I want you to kiss me?" she whispered.

And that was it. Any reasoning or argument went straight out the window. There was no time to feel guilt at my weakness when I strode over to her stopping toe to toe. My one hand snaked around her waist pulling her closer as my other hand held the back of her neck as I kissed her.

There were no coherent thoughts there was only the feeling her soft lips under mine. Her hands flatted on my chest as she kissed me back. I groaned against her lips.

Our kiss deepened as our tongues tangled. She groaned slightly and I felt the fierceness our chemistry swirling together pulling us closer together, making it impossible to tear ourselves away from each other.

I broke our kiss but held her close as I tried to whether the storm of senses taking hold of me.

"I should walk away but I can't," I whispered, still feeling like we were spinning.

She pulled away slightly.

"I don't want you to."

I didn't want this to be something she would regret but I didn't have the strength to do the right thing so when I kissed her the again I didn't stop.