What The Heart Remembers - The Heart #2 (Complete)

Chapter 13 - Part 1

Adonis

I had fucked up. There was no doubt about it.

Sleep hadn't come easy. Squeezing my eyes tight I sat up in my bed. There was no point in trying to get any more sleep. With my conscience constantly in my forethoughts I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep.

But when a image of Lacey heartbroken standing in front of me last night flashed in my mind I opened my eyes. Unable to bear it. It was instinctive in me to protect her so being the person who'd hurt her was difficult to face up to.

I only had myself to blame. I hadn't been strong enough. My hand touched my bare chest. Then I remembered I didn't have it anymore. It was Lacey's, it had always been. Rubbing my hands over my face I let out a frustrated breath.

If I could I would have blown off today I would have but my bandmates were counting on me, and the thousands of fans who'd bought tickets to our concert for the next day. Besides Lacey needed some space.

And I needed to figure out once and for all what I wanted. I couldn't keep going back and forth. I had to make a decision and stick with it.

It wasn't as simple as loving someone because I did. I loved her so much. The question was whether I could be strong enough for her and so far I'd failed her. I hadn't had the strength. I either had to find it or let her go. I didn't have the time to mop around and try to figure things out. Unfortunately it would have to wait.

When I entered the living room after getting ready I was taken aback when I saw Sam about to usher Lacey out of the room. At my arrival they stopped.

"Sam is taking me sight seeing," she explained and I looked to him before nodding.

I wished I had organised a female instead. Lacey would definitely question if I replaced Sam. She didn't trust me much at the moment and doing that would only make things worse.

When she headed to the door I gave Sam a guarded look before he followed her out of the hotel suite.

For a while I stood staring at the closed door with my hands tightened in fists at my sides. Pushing my personal pain I went ahead with the rehearsals for our concert that was scheduled for the next day.

"What the fuck is the matter with you man?" Sage asked, frustration setting into his voice when I missed another note on my guitar.

"Sorry," I mumbled trying to concentrate on my fingers on my guitar.

My mind wasn't present, it was cycling through all my moments with Lacey. Our first kiss. Our first time together. I missed another note.

This time Link glared at me as we started the song again.

Concentrate. I yelled at myself. Just get through rehearsals and you will have time to figure out what you're going to do next.

The next few hours felt like days but I got through them. Excitement and nervous I returned to the hotel.

When I entered and discovered I was alone I felt disappointed. It was still early evening but I'd expected Lacey to be back already. I could call Sam and find out where they were but that just felt a little stalkerish so I sat down on the sofa and switched the TV on.

Thirty minutes later I was still flipping through the channels, nothing could hold my attention.

What are they doing? I thought. Images of the two of them locked in a kiss made me switch the TV off and start pacing the length of the room.

The wait was punishing. The longer they took the more wild images that my mind created to heat my anger so by the time I heard the sound of giggling and the door open I was fuming.

Lacey's face stilled and her laughter stopped the moment her eyes found mine. Sam followed in behind her carrying a shopping bag. She stopped so suddenly that Sam nearly walked right into the back of her.

"Hi," she greeted breathlessly.

To angry to respond I nodded my head. My eyes, fierce, went to Sam. He gave me a reproachful stare.

"Sorry we're a late," Lacey explained as she walked closer. Sam stayed by the door. Good because if he came any closer I didn't know what I was capable of.

My jealously wasn't justified in anyway but it did nothing to calm the storm in me.

"We got carried away," she added.

I clenched my jaw trying not to lose my cool. I was holding on by a thread. She looked to Sam as he put her bags beside the sofa.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he told her before he gave me a curt nod and left.

When Lacey looked at me she frowned.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Were you having fun with Sam?" I asked tersely.

She gave me a slightly puzzled look.

"Yes, I did. He knows the city well and I even managed to get a little shopping in."

I was as tight as a bow ready to snap at any second.

"What's with you?" she asked, her hands going to her hips. Clearly I wasn't as good at hiding my anger as I thought I was. "You're the one who organised him to take me around, remember?"

That piece of information was inconsequential. The only thing that mattered was the molten anger burning in my veins.

"I even got you something," she said and bent down to search in one of the bags.

When she handed me a packet of my favourite chocolate cookies, I was winded. My anger fizzled and I was left with the the physical evidence that sometime during her day she'd thought about me and that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"Thank you," I got out to her as I held the cookies like they were still a life line to her and to us.

"When I saw them I couldn't help myself," she said with a smile that lit me up.

The realisation hit me square in the chest, straight to my heart.

Whether I wanted it or not she still had the power to lift me up to the heights of ecstasy. But she has had the power to bring me down to the depths of my own living hell. She was the only who could tilt my world with one action. Despite everything she'd put me through I still loved her and I had tried to let her go but I wasn't strong enough. I needed her.

"I'm just going to unpack this stuff," she said before she took the bags and disappeared into her room.

I was left stunned, slightly open mouthed, still holding the packet of biscuits.

I loved her but could I be strong enough to endure whatever she needed me to? Brushing my eyebrow I tried to think back to before when she'd refused surgery. It had been agony watching her knowing that without the surgery she was getting closer to death with every second.

Exhaling I thought back to the past few months when she'd been oblivious to me and my feelings for her. And when I thought there was a way to make it back to each other without her memories, our night together had pulled the rug from underneath my feet.

Closing my eyes I lifted my face to the ceiling. I loved her.

But was it enough? Looking down to the sign that even without our memories I was still a part of her thoughts. Even after all she'd said last night, how upset she'd been. I still counted.

I could do this. I wanted her, I wanted her all.

Not being with her wasn't the easier option. Watching her with someone else would be impossible to bear.

Seeing her with Sam had given me a taste of what it could be like and I didn't like it one bit.

She was mine and I wasn't giving her up.

Not all love is meant to last. Fuck that! Ours was. It wasn't over and we were far from done.