What The Heart Remembers - The Heart #2 (Complete)

Chapter 12 - Part 2

Lacey

The intensity of my sadness was overwhelming. My emotions flooded open and there was no holding it back. I sobbed as Adonis held me close, rocking me gently. I didn't understand why I was feeling like there was a heavy weigh pressed down on my chest making it difficult to breath. Was this a familiar feeling from my a forgotten moment in my past? What had happened to make me feel this heavy sadness and fear?

The knock at the door pulled made me pull away from Adonis and sit up while I wiped my tears away. It was our room service. He got up and got the food before closing the door.

Feeling vulnerable I stood up looking to the window. Footsteps stopped behind me. I let out a deep emotional breath, and it shook me slightly. The intensity of the emotion I had just experienced didn't make sense. It had to be from my memories. There must have been a memory from looking up at the sky that had pulled the emotions from the forgotten.

"What happened the last time I was on the roof?" I asked, not even sure he would be able to answer me.

There was several moments of silence before he answered.

"You'd just found out you had a brain tumour."

I let out a sigh as that familiar heavy feeling settled in my chest. Knowing that information gave me a better understanding why I was feeling the way I was. I had probably been scared and sad. Afraid for what was to come and the chance that I wouldn't survive. And sadness for the life and experience I would miss out on.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to find a way to put my feelings into words.

"Since the pancake incident I started to have moments when I experience an intensity of emotion I can't explain. I think I might be feeling the emotions from my memories. Feeling something I don't remember is confusing and upsetting."

Strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me backward to lean against him.

"I'm here," he whispered against my ear.

For a moment I leaned back into him. My arms covered his. Then like a sear across my heart I remembered that despite his actions he couldn't be with me. He couldn't handle it. How could I let him in when I knew he wasn't going to stay? I dropped my hands and broke free from him as I turned.

"But you aren't," I told him, my voice breaking on the last word. "You might be physically standing here with me but emotionally you aren't."

Taking in a shaky breath, I tried to stop the next emotional wave that hit me.

"You checked out."

He hung his head but it did nothing to ease my anger. Knowing him as well as I did I knew he had to have his reasons but I didn't know why or understand them.

"If you truly loved me, truly. You would be in this with me, no holding back," I said, the emotion tightened my throat and swallowed my tears. "You would be able to handle all of this if you loved me enough, not running at the first sign of a meltdown."

"You have no idea what you've put me through," he said, anger laced in his voice. "You can't remember."

He was right I couldn't remember but what on earth had I done to put him in a position where he couldn't take it anymore. Had it been that bad?

He took a step forward and I took a step backward not wanting to be close to him.

"I love you more than anything," he professed and I shook my head. "I didn't think it was possible to love another person as much as I love you."