What The Heart Remembers - The Heart #2 (Complete)

Chapter 9 - Part 1

Adonis

It was late morning and I was leaning against the kitchen counter drinking my coffee contemplating my talk with Lacey. Just the thought of her name was enough to make me feel aware of how I felt about her. That had been the hardest thing I had ever had to do. It had never been my intention to hurt her but I couldn't keep banging my head against the same wall over and over again. At some point something I had to give up. My decision to let her go hadn't just been selfish, I had done it for her too.

She had enough going on without having to take on my feelings for her. Now that I had taken that off the table now she could concentrate on getting better. That was all that mattered. I was committed to helping her, distancing myself from her had not impacted that. I had let go of any hope that there would be an us in the future, whether she remembered or not. I had to do it for my own sanity.

I was still drinking my coffee when she walked in. Despite my decision I couldn't stop my heart from skipping a beat at the sight of her. She was beautiful dressed in pyjamas with no make up and her hair unbrushed. I mentally reminded myself I couldn't look at her that way anymore. I had to look at her like a friend, because that was the only thing she could be to me.

"You sleep okay?" I asked.

She nodded and padded over to the kitchen table where she sat down. I could see the tiredness still etched in her features. She hadn't slept well.

"You want coffee?" I asked, trying to stop myself from thinking about our conversation the day before.

"Yes, please."

I filled a cup for her and gave it to her. The slight touch of fingers against mine sent a tingle right through me.

I realised even though I had made the decision to keep her at a distance, I couldn't totally control it. My mind couldn't erase what my heart felt, or the attraction I for her. I would have to find a way to deal with it. There was no wiping away what I felt for her just because I decided to let her go. It was going to be hard to do what was right when my heart felt it was wrong.

She took a sip of the hot aromatic liquid and I watched her.

"So what's the plan?" she asked as she set the cup down on the counter.

"We'll be leaving tomorrow to go on tour," I told her. "Your passport and flights have been sorted out."

She nodded as she listened.

"You'll stay where I stay," I added. I had already sorted it all out with Trisha.

To be able to ensure she didn't slide back down into her old of habit of dealing with her issues I wasn't going to let her out of my sight if I could help it.

"What does that mean?" she asked softly, her eyes big.

"You'll share my hotel suite."

She frowned.

"There'll be two rooms with their own beds," I clarified.

"Okay."

"I meant what I said yesterday," I explained and she looked up to me again. "I won't abandon you. I will do everything I can to get you through this."

She swallowed before taking a sip of her cup again.

"So what am I going to do when you're busy performing and stuff?" she asked.

"You'll be backstage," I answered leaning against the counter. "I want to keep your close to make sure you don't do something you shouldn't."

"You can't watch me all the time," she muttered before her teeth sank into her bottom lip.

"You're right, I can't," I said softly looking deep into her eyes. "I have to trust you."

I wanted her to feel whole again but I couldn't do it if she wasn't committed to it either. She pressed her lips together while our gazes held.

"Do you want to get better?" I asked and she nodded. "So when I'm not around I'll have to trust you."

"You can trust me," she said. She seemed to be sincere but only time would tell.

She smiled weakly at me and I felt my heart flutter to life. Before I could allow the full affect of her to hit me I headed out of the kitchen to catch my breath. I had made my decision but I had no idea how I was going to fight what I felt for her. This was going to be more difficult than I'd initially anticipated.

My phone rang. I got it out of the back of my jeans and I answered it.

"So how did it go?" Aiden asked. Looking out of the window of my bedroom I tried to find the words to answer him.

"Was it that bad?" he asked when I didn't immediately answer.

"No," I answered with a heavy sigh. "She took it pretty well. She was a little upset but I think she'll get over it."

"I'm not so sure about that," he said and I shook my head. I didn't want to hear that.

"She needs to be able to concentrate on herself and having to deal with her feelings for me was only going to get in the way of that," I reminded him.

"You think your doing what's best for her but I think you're making a mistake," he told me.

Raking a hand through my hair I pushed away from the window began to pace my room.

"I have to believe I'm doing the right thing." The pain that still throbbed in my chest made me that maybe I wasn't but I didn't want to second guess my decision. I had made my choice and I had to stand by it.

"I hope it all works out like you want it to," Aiden said. "Give me a shout if you need to talk."

"Thanks," I said. I was under no illusions that the next few weeks weren't going to be easy.

"If someone had told me that we would have become friends I would have told them they were smoking good stuff," he said.

I chuckled. He was right. I had been jealous of his friendship with Lacey and there had been a time when I had been convinced they had been a lot more than friends.

"Life has a strange way of turning out," I added. If I had been told Lacey would have forgotten about us and what had happened in the months that followed I wouldn't have believed it but here I was, living through it.

"Anyway. Have a safe trip and keep me updated," he said.

"I will," I said before I ended the call.

The rest of the day and most of the next was filled with packing and getting ready for our two week trip. I packed like I usually did which was dumping clothes into my suitcase.

Lacey was much more organised. I swear she packed and repacked four times with everything neatly folded into her suitcase before she finally zipped up her suitcase so I could take it to the front door. We were leaving early the next morning and the driver was picking us up for the house.

"Have you set your alarm?" I asked her as I set my suitcase down next to hers.

"Yup," she said nodding. She bit her lip.

"Why do you look so nervous?" I asked.

She shrugged.

"I've never flown before," she revealed. I looked at her with shock, not quite believing her statement.

"You've never flown?" I asked again.

That wasn't possible was it? I'd travelled so much it was like second nature. I never worried about forgetting to pack something either because I knew whatever I might forget I could always get where I was going.

"No. I've never been anywhere."

It just reminded me of how different our lives were. I'd been all over the world already.

"You don't need to be nervous," I assured her. "Planes are pretty safe these days."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," she said before dropping her eyes to the floor.

I had to suppress the need to hold her close and tell her everything would be okay. For my sanity I had to keep my distance.