Brothers in Arms

Eclipse: Trial By Force

I clench my muscles, trying to hold still as my body reflexively flinches away from Ayers' hands. Her touch is light, but I feel concern emanating from her. Annoyingly, I know exactly why, and I scowl.

"You're very tense," the human woman notes, finishing the attachment of the monitors. I huff, flexing my claws, filled with aggravation by everything around me. The observant professor sees this, and she looks at me sympathetically as I hop down from the table. "Does this have something to do with your fight with Shadow?"

"Does what?" I snap, all of my anger immediately rushing back. She flinches slightly, obviously taken aback, and I ignore the twinge in my chest at seeing her reaction. It hurts to see one of the few humans who has been comfortable with me recoil, but the pain is dulled by my fiery emotions.

I stalk across the room, away from Ayers, standing in a corner without people in the hope I can cool off. I try to shove my feelings to the side, but it does not seem to be working, my frustration circling back again and again. This is concerning, since I rely on my ability to avoid emotional extremes enough that--now that I am experiencing one--I do not know how to handle it. I refuse to look as Agatha joins Gina on the floor, but I cannot help but hear as she starts to talk to the distraught professor.

"Is he alright? I couldn't get him to talk to me," Agatha worries, using a lowered voice in the hope I will not overhear. It does not work, and I scowl at her question.

"I don't know," Ayers sighs softly, her glance at me clear in the corner of my eye.

"Are you alright?" The concern in Agatha's question makes me cringe. Her immediate worry for her coworker opens a hole in my lower stomach, and a sudden tear springs to my eye.

No one will ever speak that way to me, will they? I ask myself, bitter. Caring for the person, not the body. Caring out of a bond, not a responsibility. The thoughts hurt me, and I feel, suddenly, more alone than I have in the entire time since my father's death. Alone, far from my affectionate minions and isolated from my disowned brother, I am caught in a cold place. Any concern for me is over what I am, not who. And, now, the one person who was trying to treat me normally has been pushed away. By me.

It's my fault. Agatha was the only human who cared about me because she could, not because she was supposed to, and I rejected her. It's my fault that I'm alone.

"Is he crying?" Agatha's quiet voice shocks me slightly, my ears still attuned to her conversation.

"I wouldn't be surprised, the poor dear. He's been through so much lately." Ayers' reply touches something on my soul, something so unexpectedly powerful that my knees buckle. I crash into a sitting position, hands flying to my face as I break down. I have never sobbed before, have never let out any more than a few tears, but I do now, everything seeming to come out at once. Footsteps run towards me, but I do not look up.

"Eclipse," gasps Agatha, hovering next to me. "Eclipse, what's wrong?" She does not touch me, knowing I do not not like it, but, for once, I crave closeness with someone. Anyone.

"W-Why do you care?" I ask, trying to wipe my face but failing miserably as more tears replace the cleared ones. "I pushed you away. Why do you still care?" My words are distorted by the irregular breaths I am taking, but she seems to understand. Her voice softens even more, and she just barely brushes my shoulder.

"Eclipse, don't be foolish. I care about you, and I will no matter how much you snap at me. You don't stop caring for someone just because they hurt you. That's not how the brain works." Her answer takes a moment to sink in, but my eyes widen as it does.

"Can you say that again?" I ask, wiping tears from my cheek.

"That you don't stop caring for people when they hurt you? Well, yeah. Often, it hurts more because you care about them."