Zugzwang [COMPLETED]

Part I, chapter 9

- IX -

Now it was almost the end of October, and I decided to simply accept the fact that Logan was not going to leave me alone. Ever. I huffed and puffed like a very angry steam engine for almost two weeks after I realized that it wasn't just a fling-thing. For him, by the way, not for me, thank you very much! My nasty remarks were so brilliant and poisonous lately, that sometimes they made even Logan flinch. I loved it. I would use every single opportunity to remind him that I couldn't care less about his very existence, but he would just snort at me and offer to buy more coffee so I could spill it all over him again.

I would never admit to anyone -- not even to myself -- that I enjoyed having him in my life immensely. I would never let this little secret to leak out. Call me childish, stupid, or whatever, I don't care. I might admit this to myself, but there was no way in hell I would ever let anyone – especially, Logan -- know that I could actually feel something besides annoyance. It would be worse than heresy.

It was really bizarre how my parents were willing to accept the fact that Logan stayed in our house almost every night now. I mean, wouldn't you be just a little worried that your daughter was having wild, unprotected sex with some guy?! Well, it wasn't unprotected, but they didn't know that, right? I expected if not my mother, but my father for sure, to have a decent size cow, the minute I mentioned for the first time that Logan would be spending the night. But they both looked like I just announced that I was cured of some God-awful disease or something. My mother looked like she was about to start crying, and my father just nodded solemnly and said something about me being an adult and whatnot, and that he knew that I was really mature and responsible. Ugh... Traitors!

Dante spent every afternoon in my brother's old bedroom lately, and he actually looked somewhat normal now. The circles from underneath his eyes were almost gone, and he would actually crack jokes now and then. I told my mother about his situation, and she just winced and said that he was being completely wrong, thinking that nobody would believe him. I warned her to keep her mouth shut, since it's his life and none of our business. I just didn't want him to end up under my wheels again -- that's the only reason I wanted him to get some sleep. She started saying something about wonderful thing that a friend could be, and I just rolled my eyes and walked away.

The school life stayed the same pretty much, except for the fact that I would only sit with Dante, and I would only talk to him. So naturally, everyone – especially, Tanya -- immediately assumed that we were together or something like that. The fact that we would always leave school together in my car didn't help. I couldn't care less as usual, and it seemed that Dante was entertained by the whole thing, so it didn't matter.

Tanya would desperately try to talk to me every chance she got, trying to figure out if: (A) I am with Logan; (B) I am with Dante; (C) I am with Logan, but I am cheating on him with Dante; (D) we are having some weird threesome or something. I told her that it was actually a foursome, since my neighbor's dog was involved as well, and after she silentlystared at me, I told her to leave me alone and stop bothering me with her idiotic questions. From then on, she would stare at me with cold hatred every time she saw me. I didn't care about her glares. As long as she didn't talk to me, it was fine.

It was a couple of days before Halloween when Carl the Jock decided that he seriously needed to get me to go out with him for some ridiculous party one of our classmates was throwing on October thirty-first.

"Hey, Gwen," he said when I sat by my desk that morning.

"What do you want?" I asked absent-mindedly.