Zugzwang [COMPLETED]

Part II, chapter 2

- II -

The spring break was so uneventful and boring that it made me feel like I did a year ago, before I met Logan and became friends with Dante. Logan had to leave for Colorado for the entire week, after he got a phone call from his mother. Apparently, his dad had three strokes in a row and they honestly didn't think that he would make it. Logan's parents never talked to him after he turned fifteen and moved out of their house (and state as well). He would never really talk about it, but I could gather from his foggy explanations that his parents were quite strict, and he would always butt heads with his dad, who would try and 're-make' his son into his own little copy. Knowing Logan pretty well by now, I could understand his dad's frustration, but I could also understand why Logan didn't want to do anything with his parents. I guess his dad really was in a bad condition, since his mother decided to finally call Logan after almost five years.

Dante was all but glued to Marie lately, and he would show up at my house around eleven or so every night, just so he could go to sleep. So the entire week of spring break I was doing some random math, physics, and chemistry problems, that I knew would cover homework until the end of the year for me. I had nothing better to do, honestly. Plus, it would be nice not to have to deal with homework after Logan came back from Colorado. I knew that he was planning on taking at least a week off from work.

It was Sunday night, the last day of the spring break -- thank God -- and I was home alone. Dante and Marie were doing God knows what and where, and my parents were out for dinner. I was thinking about Dante's stepdad and the whole hearing thing, which happened right before Christmas. The judge turned out to be tougher than Judy Sheindlin, and after Dante testified, she wouldn't even listen to his mother's outraged shrieks. His stepdad got twenty years of jail-time without any hope of reconsideration whatsoever, and for a while, I was seriously afraid that Dante's mother would do something extreme, but she never did. One of those days, Dante mentioned that she moved in with her parents, and he wouldn't talk about it ever since, which was fine with me. The whole story still made me sick.

I slammed my book shut after numbers and words stopped making any sense to my tired brain, and went downstairs, thinking that I would kill for a cup of coffee. I groaned when I realized that we were completely out of coffee. The only thing left was an untouched jar of instant decaf, which I wouldn't touch even if I were dying. I sighed and decided to run to Starbucks and get something really hard-core, like maybe seven-shot espresso. Yup, that sounded great. Maybe I'll make it eight.

I got to the coffee shop in fifteen minutesor so, got myself a wonderful eight-shot espresso, and sat outside, since the weather was pretty nice. I was enjoying my extremely bitter drink when someone saidsoftly, "Hey, Gwen." Oh, groan, groan, groan... I opened my eyes and looked up.

"Hey, Juliana," I sighed, and she sat next to me on the empty chair.

"What are you drinking?" she asked with a timid smile.

"Coffee," I said indifferently, thinking that she would probably try to get the same drink now.

"That's cool," she nodded. "So, you going to the dance on Friday?"

"Yeah," I said gloomily.

"You have a date?" She seemed really curious.

"Yes," I said patiently.

"Is it Dante?"

Oh, Jesus... Why are you pestering me?!

"No," I said evenly. "It's not Dante."

She waited for me to tell more, and when I never did, she opened her mouth again.

"Then who are you going with?"

I was really tempted to just get up and walk away, but I was afraid that she'd run after me.

"Logan," I sighed in defeat.

"Who's Logan?" she frowned.

I blinked. It seemed, everybody in our school knew Logan by now.

"My boyfriend," I said patiently. "Logan McNamara."

"Oh," she said in a small voice. "I don't know him. Is he from our school?"

"No," I was almost finished with my espresso. "He is twenty."

That was true; his birthday was two weeks ago. The memory still made me smile. Sigh.

"Oh," she said again somewhat disappointedly. "Cool."

"Are you going?" I have no idea why I asked that.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "But I am going by myself."

"Uh huh," I finished my coffee and threw my empty cup into the trash basket.

"Nice!" Juliana immediately commented and I just sighed. Only someone completely challenged would miss that basket. It was, like, a foot away.

"Right," I said and got up. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I started to walk away without waiting for her to reply, and to my horror, she did run after me.

"Yeah," she breathed. "Hey, I hate to bother you, but is there any way you could give me a ride to my house, please?"

I was really tempted to say no, but I just shrugged instead. I'll drive fast and then she will finally leave me alone. We got into my car and she told me the address. I sighed. It was almost twenty minutes from here. How did she even get here without a car? I decided not to ask, because I didn't care.

Twenty or so minutes later, I pulled next to her driveway and looked at her silently. "Get out," I thought. She blinked at me and bit her lower lip.

"Look," she said. "Could you park the car?"

"Why?" I frowned.

"I need to ask you something."

God... Fine, I'll park. I did, and then looked at her again with a silent question. She took a deep breath and briefly closed her eyes. I swear to God, if she starts blabbering something about her cutting herself again, I will seriously push her out.

"What?" I asked finally, after she just sat there, her eyes closed again.

"Gwen..."

"What?!" My patience was quickly lowering to the red mark of Empty.

Suddenly, she opened her eyes, leaned towards me, and kissed me on the mouth. I was so startled that I froze. She immediately misinterpreted that, of course. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and her lips grew much more insistent. I was frozen until her tongue started exploring my mouth, and that finally, brought me back to life. I carefully pulled her off me and shook my head. Did this just happen? Jesus...

"Umm," I said slowly. "Look, I am sorry. I don't feel that way, okay?"

She looked like I just slapped her on the face.

"Juliana, I am sorry if you got the wrong idea..." I have no idea why I was saying that. I guess I was afraid that if I did or said something in my usual manner, she would slit her throat, and that would make me feel shitty, to say the least. "But I am involved with someone and I am..." I shrugged. "I am not gay."

She stared at me silently for almost two full minutes, and then jumped out of the car and raced to the front door of her house without looking back. I sighed. If she kills herself, I am not going to feel guilty about it. I threw my car in Drive and left without thinking about the whole thing too much. But, good God... Logan was right.