Social Clique

11.

The weekend went by too fast in my opinion. I had tried to do everything possible to slow it down - though walking around the house being bored seemed to make the days pass by a lot quicker. Even my lame ass attempts to make a time travel pod thing didn't work. I knew I should have taken science this year, it may have been possible. 

As soon as the weekend was ending, a new week was beginning - like it always does. unfortunately for me. This morning I had opted to walk to school instead of driving my car. At least this way, it was going to take me longer to build up my nerve to see his for the first time after the breakup.

Plus I found walking to be really relaxing, just not in this situation. Every step I take towards the direction of the school just made my stomach knot up with the uneasy feeling of wanting to puke on the side of the road. Not a pretty sight for the viewers passing by I presume.

So you can imagine the world of pain I'm in when I started to see the vague outline of my red bricked school. A nice fuzzy feeling definitely did not wash down with me when I thought about all the terrible event that could unfold in front of me. 

As I began to walk into the school, it was like being the new girl all over again. Everyone was staring and whispering to the person next to them. But in this case, I'm not. I'm just your average outcast sort of gal who refuses to conform to high school made standards. 

Though when Mike held the happiness of one of my bests friends over my head. Oh hell, I was going to do everything that vile little creature said. Even breaking his poor old heart. If it meant he could continue doing what made him happy, I was going to take the brunt of the pain, no matter the cost of things, even losing him. 

Because in the end, I know he'd do the same for me, hands down, no questions asked.

I quickly walk to my locker and dump my things in before walking off to find one of my other best friends, well my only other friend. 

Lilly, she's a lot smarter and prettier than me. Heck, she is the walking stereotype of a blonde girl who could belong on the cheer squad, though she's brunette, details. Though to this day, I'm still surprised she's not on the squad cheering her little heart out.

She hangs around the popular kids, I'm honestly surprised she picked me over them. Don't most kids want to be popular in high school? 

She was standing by her locker chatting up one of the lower ranking football players. She was the only other person that knew about our secret relationship, well before Mike connected the dots. 

When I tell her that I broke things off with him, man, she is going to flip out. Maybe she'll understand this time around.

I slowly approach her, trying to give her some time to finish off her conversation with that guy. She flips her shoulder length brown hair whilst batting her long black eyelashes at her. 

"So I'll see you at my party on the weekend?" she asks, batting her eyelashes again while twirling her hair around her index finger.

"Sure." He winks before disappearing into the swarm of people.

"What's that about?" I question.

"I'm throwing a birthday party on the weekend. At this party, you and Paxton can finally be out in the open with the rest of the school. I've been holding off on the party until Mike leaves. And well, this is his last week." She smiles all giddy at her master plan.

"Listen, we need to talk about that. I broke things off with Paxton." I explain.

Her happy face immediately drops. "Why? What happened?" She begins to string out the questions. Though the bell rings, stopping me from spilling my guts to her.

"I have to go. Though I'll tell you everything at lunch though." I yell out, walking away from her stunning figure. It takes her a while to process things before she's off walking to her form class. I hold in a giggle before walking into my form room. 

I opt to take a desk at the back corner of the room, the one furthest away from where Paxton will walk to get to his seat.

When the warning bell goes, I'm slightly happy to see that Paxton is nowhere to be found. I let out a little sign. Maybe I can have a peaceful day with him not here. I guess this will give me a chance to talk things over with Lily before I go and make and hasty decisions. 

The bell rings, ending form. I jump out of my seat, eager to get this day over already. I spend most of my classes out of focus, doodling on the corners of my pages, not bothering to take note of anything happening on the board or around the classroom. 

I'm happy that I don't have any morning classes with Lilly, because knowing her, she'd want me to spill my guts right there in the class room, regardless of the other listening ears.

So you could say, I was more than happy when the bell rang for lunch. Other than wanting to privately talk to Lilly, I really wanted to eat. Over the weekend, I was too stressed to think about eating and while that stress is not there, I'm now currently about ready to eat a whole elephant.. maybe a cow. 

I walk into the lunch, making a bee line to the food counter before collecting my yummy lunch. Once I pay for it, I grab Lilly's hand and drag her out of the noisy lunch room and out into the warm sun.

I pull her out to the back of the fenced off area, more private places where nobody should be about to hear our conversation whilst I'm talking.

We both tuck into our lunch before we I get into why Paxton and I broke up. I tell her how he found me waiting outside of the change room and how he threatened me to break things off with him. And then I went on to talk about how I pretty much shatter his little world, again.

Just thinking about the broken look on his face had tears rushing to my eyes with the threat of spilling over. I feel bad, but I had too. After this day, four more until everything will be fine. Just four more days.