My Name Is Memory

7 . 1 . 2 0 1 6

“As that poor wretch who cannot, cannot love:
He bears a load which nothing can remove,
A killing, withering weight.”

•°•°•°•°•

To the one from the star,

Christmas and New year's days flew by, and in no time I'd found myself walking down the cobbled street towards the antique buildings of my school in sluggish steps, a drooping air of heavy languor surrounding me as I trudged on.

I didn't want to go to school.

“Are you going to faint?” You'd asked as you walked beside me. A faint smile that shone brighter than the morning sun coloured your face.

“Will you catch me if I do?” I'd feigned weakness and imitated a fall. But you showed no change in your stance. You seemed relaxed and just walked on.

“Please. I'd learnt my lesson when I decided to carry you on my back and fly across the sky. Damn, you're heavy.” You rubbed your shoulders, pretending to shed off the tension from your muscles.

“You bland, boiled cabbage of an asshat!” I deliberately stepped on your foot and shoved you to the side while you wreathed in pain. I walked ahead.

“You cannot just do that!”

“But I did.”

“Give it a year and my nickname will be longer than the Great Wall of China.”

“How do you know about the Great Wall of China?”

“Because I'd built it myself with my own blood, sweat and tears.”

I'd stared.

“It's hard to miss that thing snaking through the mountains when you're flying right above it, duh.”

“Right. Now do you want to tag along or I'll go ahead and meet you later?” I gave your feet -- the one I'd stepped on -- a long look, but it seemed to be just fine. No pain whatsoever. You really were such a drama king.

“You go ahead. I'll meet you here outside after school.”

“Okay.” I took a step towards you, pecked you on the lips, turned about and sprinted in the other direction. “See you later, alligator.”

With the barest glance behind, I didn't fail to miss the same smile I loved lifting up the corners of your lips. “See ya!”

I'd shouldered my way through the thick crowd and found myself standing before my locker. There was nothing abnormal about it, but I'd felt the strangest kind of pressure build inside my temple when I unlocked it and started unpacking my books.

An orange envelope almost flew out of my locker right into my hand. It had the faintest scent of something sweet and... bitter. Sugary. Coffee? I didn't know. But I inhaled the fragrance greedily. It smelled nice. Really nice.

I looked around and did not notice anyone lurking. Or even looking at me for that matter. The crowd went on with their day without a care.

I wondered if it really were you sending me these letters. Striving to make my day a little better. I decided I'd open it and read the content near my locker itself -- safely hidden from crowd, engulfed by shadows so nobody could really see me unless they were staring.

I carefully broke the seal, removed the paper from the envelope, unfolded it and read it noiselessly. Each word took away my breath bit by bit, until I felt the hollow inside me swallow my heart. I felt breathless.

I can't say I love you? Hiding the way I feel for you? If I had the slightest idea of what it'd meant, I probably would never have dropped my things and rushed out of the school gates. I wouldn't have chased the shadow of your outline as you walked away from my school. I wouldn't have run into you and embraced you from behind. I wouldn't have turned you around and kissed you on the lips. Deeply. Cravingly. And then, softly.

I wouldn't have looked into your eyes and said, “Let's not go to school today.”

•°•°•°•°•

A/N

*hides* I know. I'm late. Again. I'M SORRY! And I know this entry was terribly short too. But I hope you liked it? 👀

But let me know your thoughts and theories so far. Also I just noticed this book is just one vote away from 500 and I'M SQUEALING!! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER TAKEN THE TIME TO READ, VOTE AND COMMENT! 😭 Means the world to me I swear. Thank you, thank you!

Hope everyone is having an amazing day! ❤

~Jenna