Light Upon Light

#57 Marriage?

السلام عليكم ورحمه الله وبركاته
Hello there people!

Yours truly has been on a roll off late. And I will still tell you guys not to keep your hopes up for another update quite so soon. This chapter has a lot of my thoughts about ahem the chapter title sprinkled in varying points of view. After you guys finish reading, I'd definitely like to see your take on it as well.

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#57 Marriage?

"What do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I asked silly. Tell me about Najwa," said my dear brother baffling me even more. Since when did he ever ask me about my friends in such a manner. And what brought about this curiosity, I wonder. It's not like he doesn't know her at all.

"You know her. You've seen her, spoken to her-" he put up a hand to stop me.

"I've never really spoken to her or Lia much. Of your friends it has always been Shikha with whom I have had conversations. And that too only because she makes it a point to come and speak to me. You know I don't hold unnecessary conversations with non mehram women," he explained which made me smile.

Dear old proper gentleman Samir. And here I was thinking there was something going on between him and Najwa. Especially since I misunderstood what I saw that time when the girls came to visit me. I had assumed he was ignoring her on purpose. How silly of me to think like my sixteen years old self. But that still does not answer his current interest in her. I expressed as much to him as he walked with me downstairs and back to my room. We sat by the window seat and made ourselves comfortable.

"Well... To answer that..." he stalled as he stared out of the open windows.

His eyes were unfocused as he gazed far off and the sunshine brought out the red in his hair. He was definitely not musing on the landscaping of Ashiana and the way he played with the plain silver band that he wore on his ring finger was getting to me.

"Oh go on! You did say you don't have all day earlier to Zaid!"

"I wonder who the girl he wishes to marry is... And why does he want to speak to you when Mom lands here?" Samir mused as he focused his attention back on me.

His eyes were fixed on mine as he tried to read them and decipher what had eluded him earlier. Not happening. And before my face decided to give things away with a blush, I brought the question back to Najwa. It was a weird cat and mouse game we were playing. Each trying to dig into the other's soul. Except I wanted to conceal and he was having trouble beginning to reveal.

"Well Juni meri jaan, you know there is pressure upon me from all sides to get married. Nani has been calling me everyday, asking me to go over to Dar-e-Rahma so that she can introduce me to some people. And just as Zaid was saying, I do not have any real reason to refuse marriage anymore. All this while it was the transfer of duties between Shoaib and I that was a perfect excuse to say no. Dad and Mom understood that I couldn't take up any more commitments," he sighed and started playing with his ring again.

"But now you're settled."

"Now, I am settled..."

He was cracking his knuckles next. I really wanted to laugh at how nervous my usually calm and composed brother looked. It was too cute.

"Tell me something Samir..."

"Hmm?" he looked up with a light smile playing on his lips.

"Do you really not want to get married? Do you worry about commitments like I do?"

It has been a while since the two of us had an open conversation like this. The last few years we have both been busy with our lives and careers, and while we did tease each other about marriage... We never got around to talking about it earnestly. Both of us have our families after us to get married. I have my own... Reasons...not to, I wonder what he thought of marriage.