Can you save my bastard soul? (Book 2 Sequel to Can you fix the broken?)

Chapter 5

HEY GUYS!!!!! How's it going?............. That's good. I've been alright. I went to the hospital the other day and I've been bedridden to I'll update. WARNING THIS CHAPTER IS VERY TRIGGERING!!!!!! Vote, Comment, Share. It would be greatly appreciated. So yeah

~Jeri

CHAPTER 5

"Oliver, baby. Let me and you continue this in our room." I stood up letting the drunk in me take over. I stumbled over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I knew that what I was doing was wrong but the alcohol in my system was currently in control.

"Come on let's get you to bed your drunk. Mike just stay there." He said sadly.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked as he put me down on the bed.

"What's wrong?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I just caught you sitting on one of my best friends lap with your tongue down his throat." He yelled with tears.

I felt the tears now finally flowing from my eyes. My eyes came to my face as I fell back onto my bed and passed out.

*

I sat up with dried eyes and a raging headache not remembering a thing that happened last night. I stood up and took my shoes off to reveal my black painted toe nails. I opened the door to receive a blast of light in my eyes. I covered them, soon like a few seconds later I got my sight back and saw Oliver at the stove and Mike at the table. I went up behind Oliver and hugged him tightly. I smelled him and his cologne came through my nose leaving a smile on my face as his hands removed them from him. He wouldn't even look at me. What happened last night? Shit, did he find out. 

"Oliver what's wrong?" I asked standing next to him throwing my very messing hair into a messy bun.

"You don't remember do you?" He asked giving me a dirty look. I shook my head no probably knowing the answer already. "When I came home from work after you two came back here together I found you guys making out on the couch and then you tried having sex with me."

"Oh my god, Oliver I'm so sorry. I never meant it. I promise. I was drunk. Cross my heart, hope to die." I said as tears started filling up my eyes. Flashes from last night started flashing back into my mind.

"You were drunk, that's your fucking excuse?! What about the night before we left, when you and Mike..." he trailed off. Shit he knew. Did I tell him or did Mike. I glanced over at Mike who had his head in his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Oliver." The tears had made their way down my face. "What have I done?"

"I don't know Dakota, what did you do?" Oliver replied. I ran into our room and slammed the door. I clenched my fists as I started feeling bad.

Slut

Whore

Cunt

Worthless

Stupid 

Flashed in my mind as I started thinking about what I did. He had found out. Some how, but it doesn't matter this is all over. Everything that I loved, just flew out the window. My wrist started burn as I realized that I was scratching it. I flung my hands down at my sides. I ripped off my sweater that I was wearing. I started thinking to myself, this would'nt have happened if you just disappeared? If you die, no one will be there at your funeral. Oliver hates you. Mike used you. Kate will be happy that she doesn't have to look after you anymore.. No one cares anymore.

I ran to my closet and pulled out the familiar box and ripped off my blades. I locked the door and went around to my side of the bed which was closer to the wall. If you die, no one will care. The little shinny piece of metal sat there nicely in my hand as I started crying even more and more. 

"I fucked up, it wouldn't have been the first time. That's all I am is a fuck up. I will always have something good going for me but somehow in the end I always fuck things up." I sobbed

The next thing you know the blade was coming across my skin. Deeper and deeper with each cut I made. Opening my scars that were nearly gone. I trailed all the way up my arm to my shoulder. Using the rest of the strength I had I moved to my other arm that was clean. I made a cut, giving me that little high you get when you make the first cut. I pressed a hard as I could with each cut on this arm. I reached the top and stopped. Hoping that this would do the job of ending everything. I mean what's the point anymore... 

I undid my pants with the very last strength I had and started slicing up my thys just making sure this works. I mean no one cares anymore. I just lost Oliver. The one that I really needed...

I started running it across my thy as my eyes started to feel heavy but I knew that I was just about to black out and that I would probably wake up. Which I didn't want to. I mean I'm such a fuck up, I can't keep a relationship. Again and again until I feel back onto the bed and I couldn't move any part of my body. This is it. I'm going to die. Its sad to say I've been waiting for this moment for a long time now.

I started losing breath. It had gotten harder and harder for me to breath. I tried not to fight it as the rest of my body went numb. I closed my eyes and drifted off into eternal sleep.

JERI SAYS: Is this the end of Dakota or what? Oliver knows everything now and we won't kwo if she wakes up or not. Well I guess you'll have to wait until the next chapter.