Chapter 6

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We spent the whole weekend with Opie, Kenny and Ellie. Saturday when got back from Fun Town I invited them in and we ordered pizza and watched a movie and before we knew it the kids were asleep, that night Opie, Kenny and Ellie slept over. Opie slept in my bed but all we did was cuddle and kiss. Sunday night he invited Ryder and I to Gemma's house for dinner, I didn't want to at first because I didn't want to intrude their family dinner but he promised it was ok so we went. Getting there everyone greeted Ryder and I, me with hugs and kisses on the cheek and Ryder with high fives, they made sure we felt welcomed and when we left that night Gemma told me "every Sunday at six, you both are always welcomed" and then hugged me. Now today is Monday so that means it a school day and blog day. I get Ryder up, dressed and fed and we're off to school. Pulling in the drop off lane I turn and say "be good and have a good day ok. I love you" and he says "I will mama. I love you too" we say bye and he gets out and walks into school. Once I'm home I grab my labtop and log into my blog, once my logged in I post my blog for the day and start cleaning the house.
~ Opie's POV ~
I just finished working on my third car for the day so I go take my take my break. Walking outside to the table I see Juice, Jax, Tig, Chibs and my dad sitting. Walking up to them they look up and Tig says "so is Haddy off limits or is she free game" and I say "stay the fuck away from her" and he whispers to Chibs "off limits" and Chibs shakes his head. Then they start asking all kinds of questions like, "what's her full name? where's she from? where's her son's dad? how old is she? where does she work?" and I told them, "her name is Haddy Mae Rollins, she's from Florida, her son's dad is where he belongs in hell, she's twenty five and she blogs" they all looked at me for a while then Jax told Juice "go get your computer", Juice walks away and I said "why" and Jax says "I want to see what she blogs about". Two minutes later Juice walks out with his labtop and sits down and starts typing, two minutes later he looks up and says "I think I found it. Haddy Mae's Life" and my dad says "read it", Juice looks down and his face turns a little uneasy, looking up he says "your not going to like this Ope"., then he starts reading "Being a single parent can be very challenging at times, especially to a little boy. I often catch myself at time thinking "How can I raise a little boy into a man all on my own" "Am I making the right decision for him" and the answer is "Raise him to never raise a hand to a female. To stand up for what's right even it that means standing alone. Defend the one who can't defend themselves. Raise him to speak his feeling and not be afraid of his emotions. Yes, I WILL make mistake at times but I'm doing what I think is best for him" and my parenting came to light last week when my son got into a fight with a boy for hurting a girl. An in that moment I was a proud mama! Growing up I always dreamed of one day being a mom and having lots of kids but I never pictured myself a single mom but here I am a single mom to an amazing little boy. When I got pregnant I knew I needed to leave my baby's father. I met my ex when I was 16 years old and quickly fell in love with him. At first our relationship was perfect, sure we argued but what couple doesn't? Then one night when we were 18 he came home mad, I never seen him that mad before. That's the first night he hit me and I should have left him then but he told me he was sorry and it would never happen again and I believed him. That was the first of many hits I would receive from him. He started beating me daily to the point I was unconscious. Nothing I ever did was good enough in his eyes so he gave me what he thought I deserved. His excuse for hitting me was "You got me mad" "If you do what I say I wouldn't lose my temper" and after a while I started believing it was fault. Then when I was 20 I got sick, I  couldn't keep food down and I was vomiting so I went to the doctor while he was at work. That day I found out I was pregnant and that's the minute I knew I need to leave him. So that's what I did, I packed my things and left, never looking back. The hardest thing about raising your child alone is when they look you in the eyes and say "Where's my daddy". I remember the day my son asked me that. He was 4 and we were watching Author and he looked at me with his bright blue eyes and said "Why don't I have a daddy like Author" "Does he not love me" and my heart broke into a million pieces. How do you tell your child it's better if their dad isn't in their life? So I told him "You do have a daddy and he loves you but he cant be with us right now" and he said "ok" and turn back to the tv, then came Christmas. I took him to see Santa and before his turn I said "Do you know what you will ask Santa for" and he looks at me smiling and say "For my daddy" and I didn't know how to respond. How would you respond to that? I just hope when he's older he'll understands that I had to leave.
If you are someone you know is in a abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
      Until next time, Haddy Mae"
and once he was done I was pissed off and looking around so was Jax, Tig, Juice, Chibs, my dad and Clay, Happy, Kozik, Bobby Half-Sack and Gemma who had join us when they saw Juice had his laptop out. Pissed off I walked to my bike started it up I head to the one person who I know will calm me down, Haddy.

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