Saint Vanity (mxm)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

So, Ascanius has been in contact with Adam this entire time. By the looks of it, he's been working with him and knows full well what Adam has put me through.

When he visited me just after I was poisoned, he could barely look at me. Now I know why. He felt guilty because he knew it would happen. He knew the effects it will have. This is why he had the cure at his house.

Not only that, he was the one we trusted to gain blood samples from Calder when we were trying to figure out the effect of the serum Adam's potion had on him. He is also banned from the mortal realm, but here he is. He's been sabotaging our attempts of finding Adam for who knows how long.

My eyes drift to Helgi. The man has the audacity to act surprised also, brows raised like this is the last thing he expected. It was Ascanius who sent Helgi to my house. To spy on me and nudge me toward Adam's plans. It all makes sense from the way he spoke to me and why he went out of his way to protect me. He had no reason to do so.

Well, now I know he did: to help his son.

It's understandable, but was it really necessary to get close to me?

"Vanitas, I can explain," Ascanius begins.

I don't bother correcting the name he calls me. I'd rather he doesn't use my real name anyway. A part of me that cares about the betrayal shuts down. Of course, he never cared about me. To him, I came across as insensitive, as bad as Dinero. I don't blame him for seeing me that way.

I just didn't expect him to have a hand in ruining my life, almost get me killed and have no other choice than kill my boss for my survival.

Fuck, I've been so stupid.

"Call me when you have some semblance of what the fuck we're meant to do. You can handle that, right, because all it seems you're good at is being a deceptive piece of shit," I snap at Adam, who appears unamused but has enough brains to remain silent.

I walk past Ascanius to get the hell out of this house, only for Helgi to block my path.

"If you're angry at him, express it. Don't walk out there like this." Catching the hard look in my eyes makes him realise what I'm thinking. "I had nothing to do with this."

The lie makes my chest burn with fury and anguish I've never felt before. Or maybe the way this entire situation is making me feel is rising to the top. These aren't emotions I'm interested in showing to anyone here.

I push past him and walk straight out to the street. I rub my temples as I walk off, ready to get myself lost here.

Humiliating. This entire thing is humiliating. I showed a traitor a side of myself no one has seen.

Why does it feel like I keep switching from one deceiver to another? What is it about me that attracts such men? Dammit, I saw the writing on the wall, it was loud and clear. Helgi is in love with his ex. He'd ditch me for her in a matter of seconds. I knew that.

Everyone keeps playing games with me.

My mind clouds as I try to sort out these feelings. I simultaneously want to scream, cry, turn around and beat the shit out of them, and isolate myself. It all weighs down on my chest.

How unbearable.

I draw in a deep breath and pull out the cure from my pocket. It'll be easier to deal with this as my former myself. I learnt how to keep myself from feeling this was a long time ago. I didn't want to drink this because I feel more alive than I have in a long time. But I dulled myself because of these kinds of emotions in the first place.