Ch. XXIX

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"Sure is." He answered with a shrug.

This boy was the definition of nonchalance, Connor concluded. Vader was literally standing in front of two corpses and didn't seem bothered by it in the slightest.

"I heard New Jersey." He added and crossed his arms over his chest. "Bad idea, I'm just sayin'."

"Fuck me, I can't even tell if you're clean or not." (Y/n) snorted, both mockingly and in amusement.

"Still in withdrawal at the moment." Vader explained. "Let's hope the 13th time's a charm, hm?"

Silence settled over the small room before he spoke up again. "So, New Jersey. Like I said, bad idea. Soon enough, everyone's gonna know what he really is." Vader nodded at Connor. "A lot of Odin's men already do. And trust me, they're shit at shutting their mouths. So if you wanna get rid of them, the best option is to go to Canada, or even another continent if possible."

"I don't have the necessary funds for either." (Y/n) drew in a desperate breath, then looked back at Vader. "What else, Ahad?"

"Well, there's...one last idea. Connor's technically a rarity, right? One of the last functional deviants. But what if we change that?"

"I'm with you so far. How?" (Y/n) asked almost enthusiastically.

Vader puffed air in his cheeks, then glanced at (y/n). "To do that, we need to pick up a fight with the big guys."

"And what does that mean?"

"To put it short-infiltrate Cyberlife. The company that practically rules the world."

Connor drew in a shaky breath. He had done that before. It had ended...well enough. But that was 30 years ago.

(Y/n) smirked at both Vader and him. "Who needs to rule the world when you can just learn to deceive it?"

"I'm in." Mikolaj spoke up for the first time in minutes. "What's the plan?"

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The purple Thirium of Zlatko's and Odin's bodies had mostly evaporated, and left only translucent, slick, shiny residues on the floor.

Vader had left to get Pavel, meanwhile Freya, Mikolaj, (y/n) and Connor had stayed behind to guard the carcasses.

Mikolaj and Freya were talking something in Polish, almost unnaturally fast. Xylo had just popped out a hidden corner of the room, and Connor could only guess he had ran off to it while the whole shooting thing was happening. Poor thing. The white dog was sitting beside (y/n)'s feet, who was leaning her back against a wall, arms crossed over her chest, watching the dead bodies as if they could suddenly wake up. She did occasionally glance down at Xylo and reach down to pet him, but other than that, something seemed to be on her mind.

Reluctantly, Connor approached the young woman, struggling to seem as nonchalant as Vader had been, leaning against the wall beside her.

Only then did he realize his brain was practically blank regarding subjects. What could he even tell her or strike up a conversation? He had nearly died, and (y/n) was still struggling to make the residues of the blood dripping from her nose disappear. Neither of them were in a state to have some chitchat.

"This was terrifying." (Y/n) suddenly said, looking at the down sleeve of her coat in thought, which had changed color because of the blood, just a little more darker than the dry material.

"Yes. Yes, it was." Connor confirmed. "I'm sorry."

(Y/n) looked at him through her lashes, cocking a brow. "For what, Con? If anything, it's my fault."

"No, I...I gave up." His voice had shrunk down to nothing but a whisper. "In the last ten seconds before my shutdown, I accepted the fact that I was dying. I stopped trying. The last thing I wanted was to hold y-" He cut himself off with a hitched breath, and was more than glad his voicebox had malfunctioned.

"Hold what?"

"Unimportant." Connor shook his head as he slithered a hand inside the pocket of his coat, giving the bottle cap a flick, catching it, then gave it another flick. "What I was trying to say is that I...I regret giving up. I feel- I'm- guilt- I feel guilty." He stammered.

(Y/n) was silent for a few seconds, and Connor almost took it as a rejection of some sort.

"It's okay. You just got caught up. And I guess it's better to find some form of peace before you die, rather than...do it restlessly." She shrugged, then put her hand over his, stopping him from flicking the bottle cap. "It's not your fault. I'm just glad we both got out of this alive. I mean, I guess I could've fixed you, but it would've taken weeks. And Zlatko."

She squeezed his hand, then let go of it by brushing her fingertips over his knuckles.

"Thank you." He said, almost whispering.

"Nothing to thank me for, Con." She smiled and brushed her hand up his arm, straightening out the jacket, to the juncture of his neck, and finally to his jaw. "This sounds dumb, but I don't know where I'd be without you either."

God, her gaze. Quite possibly the most mesmerizing mess of colors he had seen, smudged eyeliner and run-down mascara at the corner of her eyes. So real. Human. Imperfect. This kind of natural anarchy was that special aspect about humans Connor realized he had grown to hold dear. He had grown to...hold (y/n) very dear as well, he realized. A quick thought popped into his head - love. Could he even say that? Consider himself capable of it? Consider feeling it for her?

He was a deviant, but love, love was something different. Strong, almost terrifying. He couldn't-

The second (y/n) moved her fingers to the back of his head to play with the short hair there and softly pull him closer, Connor realized that maybe love really was terrifyingly strong - but that he was more than willing to give it a try.

So he melted into her motions, lowered his head towards her own. Close enough to feel her breath on his cheeks, for the rebellious tuft of hair she had styled out of his formal hairstyle to brush against her forehead, close enough to feel her press against him. He warmth, her heartbeat, how her fingertips were slightly, but not uncomfortably cold on the back of his neck.

This was what he had longed for just seconds before his death.

The door opened with a loud, disrupting noise, and in stepped Vader, watching them with the same nonchalance, yet slight amusement as the two of them parted quickly.

"We got the car, and Pavel's outside, waiting. Let's go."

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