Crashing the Boardwalk (Human Lapidot)

19. "Do You Want to Die?"

     Lapis had her boxes layed out on the pavement, evenly emptied and loaded into her bag. Most of the things, obviously, were still packed, and Lapis told Greg that whenever he seen Peridot, to give anything she wanted to her. She doubted the blonde would take anything, but the offer was open to her anytime. She felt bad about having to leave Peridot, but the option of staying just wasn't on Lapis' list.

     And she couldn't stay now. Everyone already knew her plans; she just had to execute them. Lapis grabbed her bag and began walking out of town to a bus stop. On her way, she saw a car coming closer, which held Garnet and Peridot inside. Lapis called for them to stop.

...

     "It's your call." Garnet said to the blonde. She took in a sharp breath.

     "Stop." Garnet stopped the car, and hesitantly, Peridot came out. A final chance to sway Lapis into staying. Let's make this count. "What is it?" She asked. Lapis rubbed her arm.

     "I wanted to see you a final time, now that you're here, I mean. I didn't want to let you pass by."

     "You did? I thought you just wanted out ASAP."

     "I did, but, I just want to clear things up between us. I really don't want to leave a sour taste in your mouth."

     Peridot rolled her eyes. The only sour is the taste being without your kiss... Which, I never even had, right? She thought with sarcasm. "What's the point? Just stay, and we can better mend things."

     "I can't."

     "And that's the problem. Look, Lapis, I want you here with me. But every time I look at you now, I feel used. It would help if you'd just stay by my side like you've been before. We-we could change that feeling." Lapis didn't reply. "Were you just using us to retreat from the real world? Is that why your leaving? 'Cause you need another escape before this city burns?"

     "Two more minutes, Peridot." Garnet said from the car.

     "No! That's not what this is!" Lapis exclaimed.

     "Well it's certainly what it feels like." The blonde calmly replied. "Look, if there's no convincing you, just tell me so I can get on with my life without you."

     Lapis sighed, closing her eyes.

Peridot sat on the couch next to Amethyst Nobody who was awake said anything. They knew what day it was. They knew how much this meant for everyone, for Peridot. Their one-year anniversary in Beach City, and Lapis was gone. She never made it to the milestone. Jasper was alone at her house, and Pearl and Garnet were outside planning things on the porch. Sharing the plans her and Peridot made with the mayor.

     Looking to Amethyst, Peridot couldn't help but lean her head on her shoulder. She felt so alone, with Amethyst not wanting her affection because of last time, and because the obvious loss of the one girl who she loved. Lapis was the only one who actually accepted the affection placed on her by Peridot, because instead of recoiling and shooing the girl off, she embraced it and silently welcomed more. That emotional freedom was gone.

     "You ok?" asked Amethyst.

     Peridot let out a small sigh. "I don't think so. I'm just.. Empty."

     "She completed you, huh?"

     "No, but she made me feel so much better about myself. She made me think that everything was gonna be ok. I mean, life isn't perfect, but Lapis really helped me relax enough to sorta be me, y'know?"