More Than a One Time Thing (Harringrove)

Moments

After a while it became hard to pretend with Nancy. Steve still cared for her deeply but the love he felt was slowly fading away. And that was scary to Steve because being with Nancy would mean his life would be normal. Being with Billy meant things would be hard and complicated. There would only be a handful of people who would accept them and it would probably only be Joyce, Hopper and the kids. His mom, maybe, but he definitely wouldn't want to risk it.

So for now he kept what was easy out in the open and kept what was hard, a secret. That turned out to be a little complicated though when he saw Billy lead a girl outside, to do whatever with. He knew it wasn't fair because he had just been kissing Nancy but it wasn't like loved her anymore. That pissed Steve off because if it wasn't for him, he wouldn't be feeling that way at all.

"You alright, Steve?" Nancy's voice brought him back down to reality where he was there with his arm wrapped around her waist. Her doe eyes seemed sad as she tilted her head and waited for his answer. Steve knew Nancy wasn't stupid and that she'd notice him straying, but for the moment Steve was mad at Billy so he chose to pretend a little longer.

"I'm fine." He lied with a small smile. She looked down and held her books against her small chest. Steve instantly felt guilty. He shouldn't be doing this to her, it wasn't right. But it was already too late to stop himself.

"I have to go. Jonathan and I have a project in History due today so.. yeah. See you at lunch." Nancy stood on her tip toes and placed a goodbye kiss on his cheek before walking away.

No, Steve was not alright. I'm a piece of shit, he thought to himself as the bell rang. Billy was nowhere to be found and neither was the girl, so Steve sulked his way to his next class, thinking about the guy that was damn near ruining his life.

______________

Billy took it upon himself to have a sick day. There was no way he'd be able to sit in his classes and feel like he was feeling in that moment, so he took his car and went on a drive. If this were California he'd have the windows down to feel the wind in his hair as he pushed seventy. Couldn't really do that in Hawkins due to the smell of cow shit but he still blasted his music and just drove. His mom and Steve were nowhere to be found in his mind as he listened to the beautiful sounds his car made, and for the moment he felt at peace.

The moment didn't last nearly enough though as he soon realized it was time to pick up Max. He didn't know why but as the months passed he hated her a little less. He didn't want to admit it but he had been less tense since he'd been messing around with Steve. It also opened his eyes to how much of a damn hypocrite he could be.

Billy was not perfect. In fact he was a very flawed and damaged human being. Views pushed on him by his father made him hateful, made him hate himself. He was fifteen when he came to terms with liking guys but it was still hard moving passed the views he was taught.

On her good days his mom was the type to tell Billy to treat everyone the same regardless of one's differences, but his dad would tell him not to listen to her because her brain didn't work right. Going against his dad was painful, so he didn't.

When he caught Max with Lucas Sinclair two weeks prior it had been ugly. He left just a peck against her cheek and then he wasn't because he had been lifted up by Billy and pushed up against the brick wall of the middle school building.

Take care of your sister, Billy. It'll just be worse for you if you don't.

His father's voice was always there, dictating just about everything he did. His fist raised and he would have hurt the boy if it wasn't for Max hitting Billy with her skateboard.

She screamed her head off at him as he finally let Lucas go. He stood tall beside her with his fists clenched. He had been angry and Billy didn't blame him at all. He was a horrible person and he knew it.

He left them without a word and let Max take her board home. That was how it had been for a couple weeks and he knew if his dad found out he'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble. If he was honest with himself it wasn't even that. He genuinely felt bad and it didn't feel right not to make it better. He used to not care but he supposed he wasn't that person anymore.

The thing was he didn't know how to make it better. So the only thing he knew to expect when he pulled up to pick up Max was her yelling at him, and he sure didn't have it in him to yell back.

"It's been two weeks! Two weeks you've been making me skate all the way home. I've had to catch rides some days. The only reason I haven't told on you is 'cause I don't want you to get hit. I don't even know why I care with the shit you pulled-"

"I'm gay, Max." The words were out before he could stop them and the car filled with a deafening silence. No more screaming from Max, just Billy's confession hanging in the air, suffocating him.

_____________