Mr. Bad Boy 》c.d.

1.0

Stacey

My head hurt.

I woke up feeling pathetic. I know I was being an over dramatic brat last night. I should've left when Cameron told me to, and I shouldn't have snapped at Jack. We weren't anything exclusive at all, we barely started being friends. It's almost ridiculous the way I acted.

A rush of embarrassment shot through my body, my exterior feeling heavier by the second.

I rolled over and tucked myself further under the blankets, wanting to hide away until graduation was around the corner. I did not want to leave the house, not now and not ever. But, I knew what I had to do. It takes a lot for a person to apologize, especially when I can't help what my emotions stir up.

I got so heated. In my defense, Cameron was extremely moody and back and fourth with me. He  was rude but he was also very nice and joking with me. I wonder if he's like this with all of his friends.

He invited me, uninvited me, re-invited me, and then kicked me out later that night.

I couldn't help but wonder what was going through that head of his and what made him such an indecisive and angry person. When he argues, he argues to get to the point. He skips around the corners where we negotiate a resolution to the problem. Instead, he pushes and pushes until he knows he has some kind of emotional advantage over a person.

And he knew exactly how to push me. It was almost amazing, yet I wish I wasn't the one on the receiving end. I haven't even been in town for long and i'm already cowering beneath my sheets.

After soaking in my own self pity for long enough, I decide to rise beneath the sheets and grab ahold of my phone, looking for Jack's number. Once I find his name, I begin to call him.

"What's up?"

"Hey. . ." I said in the most unsure voice, sounding ten times more pathetic than I felt.

"I'm not mad, Stace" He laughed, his morning voice more prominent in the way he laughed. I could just picture it, the way he laid in bed, messy dark hair, constantly running a hand over his face to wake him up and the hint of a smile playing at his lips right now.

"Yeah, sorry about all that. I wasn't mad at you about leaving at all, and I woke up today realizing you did nothing wrong and it was completely me being the over dramatic girl I am." I admitted, resting my chin on the palm of my hand.

"All good, no worries," he said, voice sounding a little more awake.

"Alright well, I just wanted to call and apologize. I'm sorry again." I sighed, relief flooding over me.

After we finished talking on the phone for a little while longer, I hung up and made the decision to clean myself up with a shower and get dressed.

After doing so, I realized no matter how upset Cameron is over me, I need to talk to him. It's not fair that he gets to play with me like this, going back and fourth. It's tiring and I want him to understand just how tiring it is. I throw on a pair of skinny jeans and a sweater and make my way into the living room where my mom sat.

"Hey hun, you leaving?" She wondered, sat on the couch with a blanket over her legs and a movie playing on the screen with a cup of coffee in her hands. She was always so peaceful. Her long brown curly hair thrown up in a bun and her green eyes hidden behind a pair of black glasses, a soft smile on her lips.

"Yeah is it cool if I walk to a friends? He lives down the street."

"He? Is this just a friend or. . .?" She tiled her head, a curious gleam behind her eyes.

"Yes, mom. Just a friend. If it were more I'd let you know." I laughed, putting on my shoes and still looking at her, silently waiting for permission. No matter how old I am I still have to have her approval. I wasn't mad though, my mom and I were very close. I told her everything, and she trusted me. Typically if she disapproved of where I was going it was for a good reason.

"Yeah, go ahead. Don't be out too late though and I call you if you want to come home for dinner or go get a bite to eat." She waved me off, taking a sip out of her cup and focusing her attention back on the T.V. screen.

I made my way out of the house, digging my hands in the pockets of my black sweater, walking with my head down. I could see Cameron's car from my house which let me know he was home. My heart pounded in my chest. I wondered if the anger he had for me yesterday would be amplified when he saw me at his front doorstep. And my heart beat faster.

I don't know why I'm still trying, after everything he's said to me. I think if what he said came from the average person, I'd be much more disgusted. But Cameron was different. There has to be a reason he is the way he is. The way he reacts, responds, it's all a way of being defensive and I can see that. Although what he says hurts, i still come back to try. But this time, it'll be different. I want to be the one in control of the way he sees me from now on.

He doesn't deserve to be able to run back and fourth with me, to give me a pathetic apology only to turn around and throw the most ugly remarks towards me. He doesn't deserve to see me so upset and angry.

Before I know it I'm standing on his porch, knocking away at his door. It takes a moment for the knob of the door to twist, but when it does and Cameron standing there opens the door with his tousled hair and tight black muscle shirt with basketball shorts on, I feel winded.

"Stacey?" He mumbles out, deep morning voice taking over, "what are you doing here so damn early?"

"It's almost noon," I want to smile but I don't, not yet.

"Like I said, what are you doing here so damn early?"

"I- I don't know." I lost my train of thought. Wonderful, just what I needed.

"Well. . . not to be rude or anything, but I have company." He stated, voice monotone and seemingly awake now. I didn't want to know what he meant by company, but I knew exactly what he meant.

"I actually came to apologize, but since you're busy it can wait." I crossed my arms, knowing well I should turn around and start walking. But my feet wouldn't oblige.

"Apologize for what?" He asked, leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms, mirroring me. One eyebrow raised in interest.

"Yesterday. I'm not exactly sure why you got so angry with me but I want to apologize for whatever it was. And you said what you obviously needed to get out and I want to leave it at that." I made my way to turn around, but Cameron called on me.

"Stacey, wait. About what I said. . ." His head dropped low, hand reaching for the back of his neck.

"Cameron? Who's at the door?" A soft voice called, causing both me and Cameron to look for the source of the voice. It was a girl with blonde hair, wearing what seemed to be last night's outfit. Backwards. And a pair of heels dangling from her finger.

I forced myself not to stare, when she reached for Cameron's arm, placing a kiss on his cheek as she stumbled her way pass the both of us waving a simple goodbye.

"About what you said," I began for him, "leave it at that. It's better for me to understand that friends don't work for us. So, I'll see you around."

I should've let him finish. But I couldn't. I came with the intentions of fixing whatever it was between us, but I left knowing now that things like that don't happen as easily as I would like. I shouldn't have came. But the good nature within me didn't want to leave an awkward angry wall between us. Yet, it is clear that is all that will ever be there.

Cameron doesn't do friendships. He does sleeping around.

I don't want an apology from him, I don't want anything from him. He is rude, he is selfish, and he doesn't care. The more I repeat these qualities of him, the more the resentment builds. Oddly, the resentment seems to hurt my chest more than it should.