Here's A Flower For You [Poetry]

An Open Letter to My Almost Lover

[ an open letter to my almost lover ]

hi *censor beep*
how are you?
will you believe me if i say that i still care and i really do?
truth be told—i'll always care about you.
not because you were my future and i am your past.
not also because our story lost any chance to ever last.
but because i still have a stomachache everytime your shadow starts to cast.
inside my mind where i know it would never last.

even for a second.
a minute.
an hour.
a breath.
a heartbeat.

but—hey, at least we're both good, right?
forget about those deep talk throughout the night.
with hidden meanings wrapped up so tight.
and heavy sleepiness that we both tried to fight.
as we watched the dark sky swiped up the remaining light.
or those cheap cat joke that didn't seem so funny to everyone.
but you laugh at it like it was your favorite one.

i can't say that i miss you.
or the momentum of me being with you.
i can't say that i miss you.
when you stand next to me but you keep on quiet too.
i can't say that i miss you—
because our almost didn't seem to catch us two.

so i guess this is it.
this is my closure to a hole that we can never together fit.
this is a finish line of a marathon that we can't ever win.
because there's only one winner and i've always let you win.

but [maybe] not again.

—g.c