new love ( brothers conflict )

chapter 15, stupid idiot

Fuuto

I had always wondered what love was as a child. 

The love of a mother and father towards there child. My father... I really have no memories of the man. He had died over ten years ago in a car accident shortly after Wataru was born. (a/n: there's not a lot known about the dad only how long ago he had passed away) Soon after that mom had to work a full-time job as a fashion designer over dad's company to raise us. At a young age after I never really saw mom a lot. Masaomi onii-san and Ukyo onii-san soon took on the fatherly and motherly roles between the siblings raising us.  I hated mom at first but after a while, I was just sad thinking she had forgotten about us. I always pushed away from my brothers after that, I hated the loneliness inside of me. The frustration deep inside me that I didn't know how to handle.  At times I said things or broke things I regretted soon after. I felt utterly alone in that family, Wataru's cries always made it worse.  

It was a terrible feeling but in that darkness, a ray of light soon pushed itself in with a warm smile and a hand reaching out to me. No matter how many times I lied and pushed away saying I didn't need my brothers Mitsuki was always the one to see right through me. Always found me hiding and sat down beside me in silence before reaching out to take my hand, that was all I needed. She was the strong ray of sun I grew so used to being shined in that every day without realizing it I sneaked her out. At times she would be with our older brothers so I would always give her a puppy dog stare and she'd always rush to my side with a bright smile on her face. I needed her and that smile. 

It irritated me whenever she was with Yuusuke. Since they were the same age, Yuusuke and Mitsuki would always run off together to play on their own. It irritated me when he would make her laugh as they whispered to one another. Back then I didn't mind Yuusuke, but before I knew it I started playing pranks and messing with Yuusuke until he would grow angry and start yelling. Soon after Mitsuki would come over and start yelling at Yuusuke for fighting with me before we go off to play together without him. I couldn't say I didn't feel completely bad so sometimes I would let him play with us for a while before he would try to steal her away. 

It carried on like that for a while, where Mitsuki stayed an important part of my life. An older sister I needed by my side. The only one who could make me smile. I always believed she was brave, she never cried or said she was sad. Even at father's funeral she hadn't cried but held both mine and Yuusuke's as we cried out. I hadn't noticed the tremble in her hands as she tried to bit down her sobs in order to comfort us. She had always been stupid like that, always putting others before her own needs.  It wasn't until a day before the year of father's funeral that I really saw how weak she could become. 

We had gone to father's family home the day before the one-year ceremony. We were going to stay there until two days after. I remember sitting in the family room as all the adults talked to one another. Mitsuki had sat in the corner with Yuusuke and me as Wataru tried crawling in front of us playing with a small ball.  I remember looking at the people around not really knowing them and ignoring them when they spoke about my father. I really didn't remember him that much anymore. I didn't realize how selfish I had been then. 

Later that day an old woman who said was father's grandmother walked up to us with grandmother. 

"You must be Mitsuki, your father spoke so much about you. You have his eyes, like a bright morning sun." The old woman had said with a warm smile making Mitsuki's face brighten at the mention of a father. 

"Really?! I'm like father?!" The woman had only laughed before pulling Mitsuki aside to give her a box with a ribbon. I remember the confusion on Mitsuki's face before she opened the box. The bright smile on her face as she pulled out a beautiful porcelain doll with long soft brown hair wearing a dark green dress with white ruffled at the ends.