stoic

Chapter 43

I stayed at home, watching people's snapchat stories of the party. Molly and Tim were moving out on Saturday and Sunday and so they were packing all night.

I hadn't heard from Ryder since after the game and I wasn't mad, I was just a bit disheartened. I doubt that he even  went to the party.

On the Monday, I heard people whisper as I walked in and saw Jerry and Ella stood by my locker.

"Why is everyone staring at me?" I ask them and they look at each other before sighing.

"There's a rumor going around about Ryder." Ella mumbled just as Ryder, Axel and Blake started walking down the corridor. The quiet muttering got louder as Ryder walked passed.

"What's the rumor?" I ask them, worried, looking between them.

"Ryder and-"

"Hey guys." Brendan said happily. Ryder and Axel walked passed us, not giving us a glance.

"What's the rumor?" I asked again.

"Apparently Ryder and this girl hooked up on Friday." Brendan said casually and the air was knocked out of me. I looked at Jeremiah and Ella who looked at me sadly.

"But, we didn't see him with a girl the whole night so it's just a stupid rumor. It's probably not even true." Jeremiah said just as the bell went.

I nodded quickly, my breathing heavy as I pushed passed them, "Mackenzie!" Ella shouted after me but I just hurried off to the one place I knew I could clear my head.

"You can't be out here Mackenzie." Coach said as I tied my shoelaces. "Go to your lesson."

"Please Coach." I begged and he sighed. "I need to take a breather."

"Fine." He shook his head shooting me a quick smile before sorting out some sports equipment for his lesson.

I started to run, letting the burning in my chest numb me completely.

I hoped that it was all a rumor. It wasn't like Ryder to cheat on me. Or anyone for that matter. He didn't seem like that type of guy. And besides, we had gone through a lot, why would Ryder want to ruin something so good?

A tear slid down my cheek but I brushed it away, continuing on with my run. But after that first tear broke free, it was followed by an endless stream of others and I stopped running, falling onto my knees and burying my face in my hands. Not even the steady stream of tears running down my face could cure the emptiness and disappointment I felt inside of me.

There must've been something wrong with me for people to just cheat on me and abandon me. I fell completely and utterly alone. With Tim and Molly moving out, my mom's sudden disappearance and now this stupid rumor, I didn't know what to do. I had lost all motivation to do anything - let alone be in school for any longer.

I got up, wiping my tears with the sleeve of my hoody and quickly running into the locker room where a few Freshman were getting changed. They gave me a few looks, with some of them giving me small smiles.

I stuffed my clothes into my bag and walked out quickly. The hallway was empty and as I got to my locker, I heard my name.

"Mackenzie?" It was Ryder.

I closed my locker gently after taking out a few things. I quickly wiped under my eyes and sniffled before turning around to face him.

"Is  it true?" I croak out, looking at him.

He just looked at me. His eyes scanning my face before he sighed and brushed a hand through my hand.

A part of me really did think that the rumors were just stupid childish lies and that I was just overreacting. I hoped that he would comfort me and tell me that it's not true but he just stood there with the guiltiest expression.

My eyelids flickered shut for a second as I tried to swallow my tears.

"Let me explain." He says.

I shake my head, mainly in disappointment. I couldn't have a conversation with him. Not now at least. I needed to think.