Bubble Wrap

chapter nineten

WHEN I GET to work the following morning, I hope I'll find Maggie at her desk. Her smiling face waiting to greet me before teasing me about being late. Something that's been happening more often lately, but when I step off the elevator I find the reception desk empty. No Maggie, no nothing.

I realize then that this might not be something we can easily move past. She feels betrayed and it was never my intention to hurt her. I wish I had just said that when I first found out instead of insisting she let me publish it. I was being selfish when all I should have been was supportive. She's my best friend and I love her. I should have heard her when she told me no.

The office is quiet as I make my way towards the back corner, stopping at one of the junior editors desks just before my office. "Have you seen Maggie?" I ask.

"Not yet," he tells me, shaking his head.

A sigh falls from my lips as I run my fingers through my hair. "Okay," I say as I continue towards my office. "Thank you."

He hums in response as I open my office door, sagging into my office chair after pulling my coat off and tucking my purse into the cabinet. I reach for my boots, untying them before slipping into my heels. At the point in the year when I have to retire into my boots, not able to wear my heels from home to the office as the winter weather begins to cool the air off.

Reaching for my phone, I unlocking it and bring up my messages with Maggie. The last message is from yesterday morning and part of my heart breaks knowing that it's the longest we've gone since we met without talking. The moment we met, we became inseparable and I already miss her. It feels like we've become broken and all I want is to put us back together. Never wanting to feel this distant from her ever again.

My fingers hover over the keyboard, ready to ask if she's running late, but instead of hitting send I slowly clear the message until it's no longer there and toss my phone onto the surface of my desk. Frustration runs through my bones as I tangle my fingers in my hair, leaning my elbows against the surface of my desk.

I want to be able to get some work done and for this not to be a waste of a day, the way it's already starting to feel but as I get into my routine my thoughts drift away from me. To Luke. To Zane. To Maggie. And with one more sigh, I get up and move back into the bullpen. I fuss with the cuff of my button-up shirt as my heels click against the wooden floors.

When the elevators come into view, I stop to look at her desk and find it still vacant. Chewing my bottom lip, I'm about to head for the washroom when the elevator doors open. I turn, hoping to find Maggie but instead see one of our interns with the mail cart.

"Holly," I say her name, getting her attention as she gets off the elevator. I cross toward her, digging my nails into the palm of my hand. "Have you seen Maggie?"

Her eyes go to the desk before looking at me. "She was at her desk before I went down to get the mail. I think she got in late."

"Thanks," I say and continue toward the washroom, hoping a splash of water will keep me from freaking out. The water is cold as it hits my skin, thankful that I didn't care to put make-up on this morning aside from a small amount of waterproof mascara. Exhaling softly, I look up at my reflection and see a pair of white boots that look very similar to a pair of Maggie's. "Maggie?" I take a chance, turning when I see whoever it is sitting on the floor against the wall.

In return, I get a small hum of acknowledgement as the metal door creaks as she fumbles with the lock. When the door opens enough for me to see her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes, it's like whatever tension was between us melts away as I sink to my knees next to her and wrap my arms around her tightly.

"I've got you, Mags," I whisper, leaning my head against hers. "I've got you."

She sinks into me, knowing that she can now that my arms are safely wrapped around her. A broken sob falling from her lips as she holds onto me. "I-I'm not pregnant," she says, her voice painfully weak.

My heart drops with the words. "What?"

"The doctor..." She whimpers before her cry become more audible. "She said that I'm not pregnant. That, that I might never be," she says and squeezes tighter into my chest. "I... I can't be pregnant or that it'll take forever or..."

"I'm so sorry," I say because I don't know what else I can say. She might have been shellshocked at first, but that didn't change the excitement that brewed beneath the worry. Even if she didn't think so, she was ready to be a mom and I can't imagine the heartbreak she's feeling now. The sorrow that won't fade with time. "Does Zane know?"

She shakes her head. "He's on shift," she says quietly as she presses her fingers into my forearm. "How am I supposed to tell him that I can't do the one thing that a woman is supposed to be able to do?" she asks and my heart breaks a little further, because this isn't Maggie. And she know it's not the truth, but when you're told you can't do something after believing you were doing exactly that, it's like a knife to the heart.

"You're wrong," I tell her. "You are so much more than your ability to carry a child, Mags. I know it's hard to believe that right now, but I need you to know it's the truth because Zane knows it. You're still Maggie, and he's still going to love every piece of you."

She shakes her head because in this moment, she doesn't believe me. She feels let down and I wish I could take her pain for her so she doesn't have to feel weighed down by it. But I can't do that. All I can do is hold her up until she has the strength to do it herself.

"How do you know?"

"Because he looks at you like you're his entire world," I share and fall back onto my heels, holding my hands out to her to help her up to her feet. "Let's get you home."

Maggie shakes her head, wiping her eyes causing the already smeared make-up to smear further. "I don't want anyone to see me like this," she says.

"They won't," I tell her. "Just wait here, okay? I'm going to go talk to Clark."

"Wait," she says as she reaches for my arm, stopping me before I can open the door. "I don't want anyone to know about this. You can't tell–"

"Don't worry," I say. "I won't. Just give me a few minutes, okay? I'll be right back."

She doesn't let go of me right away, but when her grip loosens and her hands fall to her sides I take it as a sign that she trusts me to not tell anyone. The office is the same as I left it, but somehow different as I hurry towards my office. I slip back into my boots, tucking my heels into the cabinet when I grab my purse before pulling my coat on.

Clark's office is the closest to the conference room and a moment of relief hits me when I find him at his desk, his eyes trained on the computer screen instead of being tied up in a phone call. I knock lightly on the glass door, opening it a crack when he turns towards the noise and invites me the rest of the way in.

"Wheeler!" he says just as cheerfully as always. "What can I do for you?"

"I know it's the start of the day, but I was hoping you'd let Maggie and I cut out early for the day," I say, trying to keep my voice calm. I'm not one to ever ask to leave, especially not when the days barely started. The idea alone making my heart race, but this is Maggie and she needs me right now. "Maggie just got some really bad news, and Zane's on shift right now and I don't want to leave her alone. I promise I'll make sure all my work is–"

"Go," he says, cutting me off. "And don't worry about your work, Emery. Just take care of Maggie and keep me posted if she needs more time."

My lips lift as I nod, thankful he's so understanding. "Thank you," I say before closing his door softly, heading for Maggie's desk. I gather her stuff from under the desk and head back towards the washroom. She's washing her face when I open the door, her eyes tired when she turns toward me. "Let's get you home."