Bubble Wrap

chapter thirty

IT'S FAIR TO say I would walk a million miles to be with you. I miss you in ways I didn't think were possible to miss another person. I miss the way you held me in your arms. I miss the way your eyes shined in the daylight. The way you smelled. Every day I wish we could go back, and take back the words of hurt and close the wounds they caused.

You slipped through my fingers and as my life goes on without you things slowly start to change. My heart doesn't skip when our friends speak your name. You are no longer the thing distracting me in the middle of the day. My heart doesn't ache for you anymore.

If only I wasn't lying to myself.

You are the only thing that can fill the empty space in my chest. The two of us fit together perfectly, and it seems impossible being polar opposites, but it's the truth. That's the thing I pretend not to know, but I do. I have loved you the way I only dreamed I could.

Wholeheartedly.

I have missed you longer than I ever should have.

I can't make you love me, but I can tell you that there is no one else in the world that makes me feel the way you do. You cures the loneliness. The warmth to my coldness. The bright light to my darkness. We don't make sense, but we work.

And all I can say is I wish we could go back to the way we were.

"This part here is really good, Mags," I tell her as I highlight the line and make note on the paper copy of her manuscript with my red pen. "Every day I wish we could go back, and take back the words of hurt and close the wounds they caused."

Maggie nods and marks down something on the notebook resting on her lap. It's our third official meeting on her book, having finally worked out all the details on her book deal and after everything, it's just the distraction I need.

"Thank you," she says as she looks up from her notes.

I frown. "For what?"

"This," she says, gesturing around my office. "You're treating me like all your other authors. I don't know why I thought you wouldn't, but I guess, I thought you might sugarcoat your feedback because I'm your best friend. You haven't and I really appreciate it."

"I promised you I would," I tell her.

"I know." She exhales as she shuts her book, resting her hands on top. "I'm excited to make all these improvements. I've seen you in action before, but it's different when it's something I've done. You're kind of the real deal."

The corners of my lips tug up into a smile as I shift to my computer, adding my final notes to the digital copy of her manuscript. "Thanks, Mags," I tell her. "I'm just going to add a few more notes to your digital copy, but you can take this," I say as I clip the paper copy back together and slide it towards her. "Do you have any other questions?"

"Yeah, actually," she says and scoots to the edge of her seat, a mischievous grin playing on her lip. "How are things with Luke?"

And just like that the spell is broken as I lean back in my chair with a long sigh. It's only been a week since Luke packed up his life and left New York, and it's been the worse week of my life. I didn't think it would happen so soon. I didn't think I would fall apart this quickly at the lack of his presence, but it's happening. I'm crumbling and it's all his fault.

It's only been a week and I miss him more than I thought was possible.

"They're good." I swallow and pick at the ends of my hair, twirling it around my finger.

"You don't look like everything's good."

"No, it's fine," I say, pressing my lips together as I pull my cardigan around my chest. "We're fine. I just... how is it possible to missing him this much already, Maggie? I don't ever stop missing him. He's on my mind all time, and all I want is to be near him."