Make It Home

Chapter 1

Brittany.

I'm sitting on my window sill with my left knee in my chest while my right leg was straight out. I stare out the window looking at the rain hitting against my window pane. DRIP! DROP! DRIP! DROP! The sound of the each rain drop hitting the window pane was slowly driving me insane. When I was younger my grandmother told me that when it rained that means that the sky was crying. She said that the sky cries when a person dies. That scared me because today it was raining. I just hope that August doesn't die tonight.

I've been sitting here for fouty five minutes now. August left me in our apartment alone four hours ago. He left around 10:30p.m and now it's 2:47a.m. Whenever he leaves I just sit and wait for him to come home or for the cops to knock on the door baring bad news about his death or arrest.

I hate when he leaves me because I can't go to sleep. I just stay up wondering if he will make it home tonight. I'm dreading the day when he won't come home and I'll be devastated. I miss him so much when he leaves but I can't make him stay. He is his own person and will do what he wants regardless of what I think. I don't want to lose my baby, I love him.

When August and I first met, it was like love at first sight. Both of us were just fourteen years old. At the time I wasn't that popular but August was. I only had two close friend which were Jayla & Kayla, they were twins and I'm still friends with them until this very day. I was walking home with my girls when August and his boys were standing on the corner. August approached me and said, "Aye ma, you look real beautiful today." When he said that I began to blush and told him thanks. Since that day we just hit it off and talked everyday. After just five months of talking, August asked me out and of course I said yes. Ever since then we have been inseparable. He has been through so much in life and I've stayed by his side through it all. He needed me and I needed him. We needed each other. August was my first for everything, my first love, my first boyfriend, my first kiss and I gave him my virginity. He was special to me then and he is still special to me now.

Some people may call me dumb for staying with him. August has cheated on me multiple times but I forgave him. I wanted to leave him but he would get down on his knees and beg me to stay. When I'd look down into his eyes, I could see how sorry and sincere he was. It was like he needed me but he couldn't control himself. He loved me and wants to be with me but he's fucking around with other girls. Those girls don't mean anything to him because he only wants me. I had made myself believe that when he said that, that it was true.

Since the last time I found August cheated on me, which was three months ago, we haven't had sex. I felt like he had to earn that privilege back even though I know he would get it else where. When I was in the mood, I couldn't do anything but just suck it up and deal with it. August was the only boy I've been with and I wanted it to stay that way. I just wanted him to act right and like he doesn't want to lose me. Make me feel appreciated.

Almost every night when he comes home, he smells of alcohol, marijuana and another girls perfume. When I smell that I get upset with him, which leads to us having an argument. I remember the first night he came home smelling like that. As soon as he can near me the smell hit me in my face. I could see hickies on his neck and I didn't put those there. That's when I knew that he had cheated on me. I confronted him about it and he didn't deny any of it at all. It was like he proud of his actions. I began to cry and I started hitting on him, asking him why was he doing this to me. August didn't say anything he just looked at me and pushed past me. That caused me to become more upset so I followed him into our bedroom and was yelling at him. He grew angry and that's when he smacked me right across my face. That smack caused me to drop onto the floor, hold my cheek and cry uncontrollably. Once he looked at me and realized what he did, he picked me up off the floor and put me on the bed. He said he was sorry a million times and promised he would never hit me again. I forgave him. He kept his promise and he never laid a hand on me again.

I was completely bored now and decided to get on Instagram. I was scrolling through my page when I spotted a picture. It was picture of August standing between two chicks asses. He had his thumbs up and was cheesing extra hard. The picture was uploaded fourty six minutes ago. I grew angry just looking at the picture. How could he so blatantly disrespect me like that. Watch when he gets home he will get a piece of my mouth.

I got up off of the window sill and began walking back and fourth in the room. I had my phone in my hand smacking it against the palm of my hand as I walked. So many thoughts were going through my mind at this point. I grew angrier and angrier by the minute. I stopped in mid thought as I heard our apartment door open and close. I already knew it was August but I didn't really care. I continued to pace back and fourth as August entered the room.

"Ma what ya still up fo?" I stopped pacing for a quick second and looked at him. Then I continued to pace again. "Aye what ya doin'? Why ya walkin' back and fourth?" I gave August a disgusted look as he walked towards me. He grabbed me by face and tried to plant a kiss on my lips but I pushed him away. He moved back a little and had his arms spread out. "Aye what ya do that fo ma?" I ignored him. The more I looked at him the angrier I got. "This! How could you disrespect me like August!?" I threw my phone at him and it hit the wall, landing on the floor. I couldn't take this anymore, he has been putting me through so much. He looked down at my phone and saw the picture. "What ya snoppin' through my page fo ma?" He questioned me as if I was the one in the wrong when I wasn't, he was wrong.

At this point I grew furious. I charged at him and began hitting him repeatedly. "How could you do this to me August?" "You disrespect me all the time, out here fucking these hoes." "I'm so loyal to you and I never once thought of cheating on you but you it to me all the time." I say in between sobs as I continue to hit him. In mid punch I say, "I love you.." I slide down to the floor as he held me and I continued to cry. "After everything you put me through I still stay with you." "I feel so dumb." "I just can't anymore." "I just can't August.."

August was still holding me as I was crying my eyes out. "Ma I'm sorry." I look up at him as he speaks. "You know I love ya baby girl." He huffed. "I don't know why I mess around with these otha females. Fo'real you are the only girl I want ma. I can't live without ya. None of those otha females mean anything to me. I may fuck them but I make love to ya because ya the one I love not them." Like the dumb ass I am I accepted his apology. I knew that he would just cheat on me again like he always did. He leaned down and our lips met as we shared a kiss. Once we broke away from the kiss, I opened my eyes and looked at him. "Promise me you won't cheat on me anymore August."

All I want is for him to not cheat on my anymore and be loyal. I don't want to have to cry another night because he fucking around with some hoe. I loved him so much and I couldn't imagine life without him. But he needed to change his ways. If he doesn't change I will have no other choice but to leave him and I know neither of us want that. August didn't look at him, he just stared at a wall. "You know I can't promise you that." I sighed, accepting his answer. I had no choice but to take that answer and leave it at that.

August and I laid in the bed cuddled up. He had his arms around waist as my head laid on his chest. I heard soft snores and knew he had fallen asleep. I turned on my side so that my back could face him. My hands were together as if I were praying and the side of my head rested on them. I stared out of the window. Watching the rain continuously fall and hit my window pane. I whispered to myself, "Somethings will never change between him and I." I sighed. Closing my eyes and soon falling asleep.