a beautiful accident (a dan howell/phil lester story)

eight - friends forever

Ever since Phil posted on twitter about Rosalie, Phil's phone was blowing up with texts from his friends, asking what the actual hell was going on. Although he really wanted to tell everyone, he knew Dan was still afraid of anyone knowing, and he couldn't betray what Dan wanted. 

So he never answered the texts, and simply just said, "I have a daughter, that's all you really need to know." Which just confused everyone more. but Phil didn't care. One day he'd tell everyone the truth, but that day just wasn't soon. 

But what he truly did expect was for his friends to show up at his old flat, only to be told he no longer lived there and moved out. 

"When the hell did you move?" PJ asks, confused and a little upset

"Three months ago, I just forgot to mention it," Phil explains

"You don't just forget to mention that, you're hiding something," PJ accuses, and Phil knows he's right, and he's slowly cracking under pressure.

"It doesn't matter what I'm hiding or not, PJ." 

"Yes it does! You go completely quiet after you posted that tweet about Dan, and suddenly you're back with a baby? You had us thinking something bad happened to you!" Pj's upset, and Phil can hear it in his voice, with the way it quivers

"I'm okay, Peej. I'm okay, I promise you." 

"Are we just not good friends anymore where you can't tell me things?" PJ sniffles 

Phil's heart pangs, "Pj, please let me call you back." 

After they hang up, Phil makes his way to Dan's room, where he's playing on his phone. Dan glances up at Phil from the bed, immediately frowning when he notices the tears in Phil's eyes. He throws his phone to the side and races to Phil, grabbing his hands, "What's wrong?" 

"It's PJ, he went to our old apartment looking for me, and he's mad." Phil explains, "He's really hurt, Dan. I can't keep lying to him," 

Dan's heart cracks, and he wraps Phil in his arms, letting Phil cry into his shoulder. His stomach is gnawing at him in sadness, because he's the one to blame for Phil's troubles, once again. He can't keep expecting Phil to keep everything a secret, especially with the internet knowing about their daughter. 

"Was he alone?" Dan asks after a moment

"No, Chris was with him, and Louise was on the way with the spare key before a neighbor showed up." Phil sniffles, lifting his face from Dan's shoulder 

"Tell them to come here. I can't make you keep hiding from them. You're important to them, and they deserve to know Rosalie, regardless of how they feel about me," Dan says, feeling Phil staring at him in shock. 

"Dan, you can't be serious," 

"I am. I'll even leave for the night if I need too. Get your friends back, Phil." 

"You aren't leaving your own house, and I'm not letting you get scared out of your own home. They're your friends too, Dan." Phil retorts, shaking his head 

"They're angry with me, and they have every right to be. I broke you, Phil. I left you. They had to pick up the broken pieces I left behind. I don't want to be here for them to scream at me. I don't want to put Rosalie in that position to be around screaming adults. And I don't want you caught in the middle of it, either." Dan explains, feeling his eyes water as Phil stares at him with a broken expression

"Dan, baby, stop blaming everything on yourself. This was on me too. I made you feel like a baby would've ruined my career, I made you want to leave. I'm not angry anymore, I'm so happy with you being back. Yes, they did have to fix me up afterwards, but that was just them being friends. Sure, they were a little angry and confused, but they've never said anything bad about you. Chris just wishes you would've talked to him before you left, that way at least someone knew you were safe," Phil counter-explains