Why Don't We BXB Sickfics

Self Harm ♡ Jonah

Jonah paced back and fourth in his bedroom. He was trying to hold himself together. He was trying not to scream and cry his heart out. He was trying not to show anyone how he was breaking inside. So he paced back and fourth until he couldn't anymore.

He sat on the corner of the bed with no emotion on his face. I'm just a worthless slut. Just do it! Who would even care? Jonah pulled the object out of his pocket. He shakily rolled up his sleeves. He had been clean for almost 6 months. He closed his eyes bringing the blade to his skin. He sighed pulling the blade away. He put it in his pocket.

He knew if he was caught the boys would send him to a mental hospital. It terrified him every day someone would find out. His parents were the only ones who knew. They found out when he was 14.

He stayed clean until he was 17. It was hard staying clean, he would constantly have anxiety attacks and scratch himself until he bleed. On bad days he would sit there emotionless snapping a rubber band on his wrist.

That's the thing, Jonah couldn't cry. The only times he could was when someone died. It confused him, before developing depression he was extremely emotional. He would cry watching movies, he would cry when he was frustrated. But since then he's always been an emotionless vase waiting to be shattered.

"Crying will help, just do it. Crying will help me" Jonah whispered pacing again. He wanted to be able to cry. He knew it would help let out his emotions. "So fucking pathetic Jonah! I can't even fucking cry!" Jonah whisper screamed at himself.

He turned and looked in the full body mirror in the corner of his bedroom. He hated everything he saw. His hair looked dumb no matter what he did to it. His eyes were dull. He had a pudgy stomach but you could see his ribs. He had awkwardly small hands. His eyebrows were uneven. He hated everything from his head to his toes.

He heard a knock from the door. He quickly plastered a fake smile.

"Come in" Jonah said walking to his bed. Daniel walked in the room and sat next to Jonah. "Lunch is ready if you want any" Daniel said looking at Jonah.

"No I'm good" Jonah whispered. He just really couldn't handle being around his bandmates. He knew they would notice soon enough. But just his luck, Daniel was the most observant.

"Jonah you haven't left this room all morning not even for coffee. What's wrong" Daniel said eyeing him. Jonah took a deep breath. Luckily he hadn't done anything, so there was nothing to find out.

"Nothing, I swear I'm okay" Jonah said looking at his hands. Daniel nodded eyeing him again.

"Jonah" Daniel started, "just know I'm here if you need to talk" he said pulling the door closed. Jonah sighed pulling his hands onto his forehead. He laid back on the bed.

○

Daniel sat at the kitchen table thinking about Jonah. Something was seriously off. The way his hands were trembling gave it away almost instantly. The bags under his eyes didn't help either.

"You okay Dani?" Corbyn asked sitting down on the opposite side of the table. "Yeah just thinking" Daniel said. He rested his forehead against his hands.

"Okay, well if you need to talk I'm here" Corbyn said. Daniel nodded. "Course"

○

Jonah once again sat on his bed with no emotion. It had been 2 days since Daniel had talked to him. It was all starting to become way to much for him to handle.

He pulled the sharp metal out if his pockets. He held it for a long time before rolling up his sleeves.

Do it Fag!