How to love

seventeen: Pizza?

Frankie's point of view:

"Wait, so you're telling me that you agreed to try and teach your boss on how to love someone?"

I groan loudly at Flo's amused giggle and pull my comforter over my head. Receiving an email late Wednesday night, the day after Jason and David arrived home from Hong Kong, I was instructed to take the rest of the week off for the Thanksgiving holidays but instead of celebrating, I had been hibernating for two days straight.

"Please tell me when you thought this was a good idea?" She questions. I huff muttering incoherent words beneath my breath that was muffled with the comforter. I throw the sheets back, kicking my legs free and throwing them of the side of my bed, wincing at the cold floors. "Frank, why? What were you thinking? You know you fall for someone so quickly and easily. What part of you thought this was a good idea?"

The snow began to fall during the night and now left a thick blanket along the window ledge, and quite a significant drop in the temperatures. "I didn't think, that's the point. Now I don't know what to do."

She sighs and I can hear Vivian's laughter floating in the background. "I don't know, Frankie. One part of me is wanting you to just tell him the truth. Jason seems like a lovely guy, he seems like he cares for you a lot - I mean, who would travel into the next city for a silly Halloween party after a eight hour business meeting and a week of work for a employee? Plus, Viv' loves him after he dressed up. Apparently he was her favourite costume of the night."

"The traitor." I mumble jokingly, snuggling down and interrupting the array of scattered cushions along the couch. I sigh, "And what's the other part saying?"

Her silence gives me unsettling goosebumps scurrying across my entire body and I chew on my chapped lips. Flo and I knew each other's thoughts, we always have. We knew when something was wrong even if we couldn't see each other, and this was one of those times.

"The other part is telling me for you to leave it." She quietly admits causing the knots in my abdomen to reform. "Frankie, he's your boss. There's no possible way that it could work between you too if anything ever did happen, it would make things too complicated. You can't mix work with your personal life, especially not with a relationship. You just landed yourself a job that you worked your butt of for in college, you don't want to risk that do you?"

As much as the little voice screamed and screamed, telling me that I did want to risk it all. I wanted to risk my job, I wanted to risk everything just for Jason, I knew it was foolish. What if something went wrong? What if a relationship didn't work? I would be left heartbroken and jobless.

A defeated sigh leaves my lips. "Of course not."

"Look," She begins with a gentle tone. "I know what you're probably feeling, but you just need to forget about the deal you made with him and focus on your work."

"Mommy!"

My chest heats at the sounds of my niece's tiny voice. "You better go get her. Tell everyone I said hi, and happy thanksgiving."

"We wish you were here." She mumbles sadly. "I wish you would just come one year."

"Maybe next." I lie.

Every thanksgiving since I moved to New York, I spent it alone while Flo and Paul went to his parent's house just a few blocks away from their home. They slowly convinced dad to join them, but never me so I remained hibernating in my apartment with a pizza and watching the parade on the tv.

It's been three days since any contact with Jason, and these three days where harder than when he was halfway across the world. The was no morning text, no night time email - nothing. All communication was cut-off and it should have been easy, after all, it was me who came to the conclusion that professionalism was the only way forward for us. But why was I second guessing myself?