Stronger- #Wattys2019

Part 16

It took every ounce of will power to focus on her exam. Nadine had been so furious at the king early in the morning. Even more so when she returned to her room to realize all of her jeans were too small. Apparently her few minutes of shifting started to trigger her growth. That explained why her body ached so much. Damn it.

She didn't like being labeled an omega. However, she didn't want the attention and expectations of an alpha. Certainly not the backlash of being an alpha who got her parents killed. It was all so messed up.

So, putting the exercise clothing Elder Volkov had found for her, back on, Nadine simply went to class. She had finished one exam and was almost through her second one of the day. However, writing a story about her wolf... it distracted her too much. It melted some of her anger and left her utterly exhausted.

All she really wanted at that moment was to hide in a dark corner and sleep. She wanted to shut out all of the idiotic comments and gossip. She wanted to stop thinking of the king and how she felt around him. The way her body longed to be close to him, aching to simply feel the warmth of his skin next to hers. Nothing too carried away, just a hug or caress. It was idiotic how her body craved what it couldn't have. It needed to stop. Most importantly, she wanted to stop the constant inner dialogue of her insecurities.

"Ms. Grey, do you have a moment?" Professor Venton stopped her before she left the classroom at the end of the exam.

"Of course Professor. But, I do need to find Professor Leighton."

He waited until the last of the student left. "I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of following up on your classes and exams after the challenge. Professor Leighton has already left campus for the semester." Her shoulders dropped. His class had been the only one missed while in prison. She had hoped she could convince him to let her take the final late. Professor Venton watched her. The stress and worry seeped through the edges of her mask, yet she still held so much back. "You don't need to worry so much. As I said, I checked. Given the circumstances, Professor Leighton excuse your absence from the class. And you were an excellent student. Even with a zero grade on the exam, you passed the class with a B+. It might not have been the grade you hoped for, but still a passing score higher than most students. You should be proud of your efforts."

"Thank you Professor."

He smiled warmly. "In fact, all of your professors praised your grades. I was surprised to see you even emailed your final papers just before the challenge, assuring their acceptance while not knowing the outcome of your day." The retired beta stood from behind his desk. "That does mean you are done for the semester. You passed all of your classes with at least a B+. You don't have to stress any longer. I just wanted you to know. And to make sure you're alright."

Nadine nodded toward her professor. "I'll survive. I always do. And thank you for letting me know. However, I do believe I still have a second half of my exam for your class."

The professor grinned softly. "No. I was hoping to let you finish it now. As an oral exam."

She looked at him with confusion. He wasn't suggesting...

He suddenly appeared to see where her mind had wandered and threw his hands up in surrender. "I only meant verbally telling me your thoughts. I didn't mean to imply..." He shuddered. "I'm happily mated and not foolish enough to dally with anyone, let alone a student."

His sincerity helped her to relax. "So, what is this supposed to be?" She sat in a desk in front of his.

The professor moved around his desk to lean against it. "As I said before, I want to know what you learned from the class, and from your challenge?"

She paused. There was so much running through her mind. However, there was too much she couldn't share. Not even with her professor. Finally, she settled on a portion of the truth. "You were wrong." She stated. "On Monday, you reiterated the function of our inner wolf. And you said something similar several times throughout the semester. You said the wolf and the human vessel don't have different desires, they are one and the same. But you're wrong."

He rose a brow in question. "Go on."

"The wolf is our deeper instinct. Our human mind is the complex and social mind. Instinct and the needs of social expectation are constantly at odds with one another. Instinct demands you protect yourself. However, social protection trains warriors to willingly put themselves in harms way for the protection of others. Instinct demands procreation and encourages sexual gratification only with a mate who could bear offspring. Yet, our social structure encourages abuses of that bond until the mate has been found. I think the lower in the hierarchy you go, the more your instinctive mind takes over in many ways. The lower ranks are controlled by their submission. Their instinct is to obey orders. They may not recognize their social mind as independent any longer. However, higher ranked wolves who have more freedom to make their own decisions, they do have separation between the two. And recognizing that is the key to learning to making the right choices. Knowing if a reaction is based on instinct or other sources. And knowing which has more value in different situations."

"Well said. And how does that relate to your challenge?"

She shrugged. "The challenge? Nothing much. My mind wanted me to leave. Isobel wasn't worth my time. However, my instinct was to not let the challenge go unmet. I weighed out the possible outcomes. If I left, it meant leaving the school entirely and never having another chance to find my own path. If I stayed, I risked drawing too much attention and threatening everything I worked for. Either way, my dreams were at risk. But only one would show public shame on Bosch pack. I wouldn't hurt others for my actions. So, I followed my instincts."

"Spoken like a true alpha." He smiled. "I suppose the real question is why an alpha wolf is hiding as an omega?"

She stiffened. "I have my reasons. My deeper instincts were to hurt people for things they didn't do. And I couldn't let that happen."

"Hmm. Yes, you gave young Peter quite the fright." He moved toward his seat once more. "Smile Ms. Grey. You got an A+ in this class. So few of my students think to question something so inherently meant to be questioned. However, as you said, lower ranked wolves seldom have the freedom of choice to realize they have two voices calling for different reasons." He grinned. "I do hope we see you here again next semester."