28 | Because of You

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I spent Wednesday and Thursday trying and failing to talk to Emily

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I spent Wednesday and Thursday trying and failing to talk to Emily. She ignored all my calls and texts (which consisted of a lot of apologizing and begging her to talk to me), and she hadn't been in her usual place at lunch, either. I even checked at what I now knew was her locker, but came up empty every time I stopped by. The only way I even knew she was at school was by the occasional glimpses I got of her between classes.

On Friday, as the entire student body filed into the auditorium, I expected to see her on stage next to Finn and Chloe with the rest of the people running for student government. But the brown folding chair between a scowling Finn and a fidgeting Chloe was empty. I waited for her to show up as everyone took their seats, I waited as the teachers told everyone to quiet down, as the lights were dimmed, and even as Principal Fulton stepped up to the microphone.

"Welcome staff and students to Milton's annual Student Government Assembly!"

I shifted in my seat, leaning out into the aisle to glance back at the sets of double doors. Only one was open, and as much as I wished for it to happen, Emily didn't walk through it.

"One thing before we get started, there's been a change to the presidential candidates. Emily Banks resigned from the race earlier this week, and as such..." Fulton kept talking, but his voice faded into the background as he introduced Finn and invited him to the microphone.

I thought maybe she was nervous, or she'd gotten held up somewhere— the idea of her quitting hadn't even crossed my mind. Guilt rushed through me, settling in my stomach like lead. This was my fault.

Finn stood up from his seat and walked to the mic. The room erupted in claps and cheers for their favorite and now only candidate, but I could barely hear them. I stood from my seat, ignoring a few curious heads that turned in my direction as I hurried to the exits.

A few teachers were standing in the back near the doors, probably to watch for trouble makers. Unlike the crowd, who was focused on the stage, all of their eyes were on me. My old geometry teacher placed a hand on my shoulder when I reached them, a scowl on her made-up face. I heard her say something about sitting down, but the words barely registered. I kept walking, and her hand fell from my jacket as I pushed one of the heavy doors open, leaving the room.

I wasn't about to sit and listen to Finn's goofy speech when my insides were churning. I'd screwed up. I'd screwed up so, so badly.

The adjoined lobby was empty and quiet, but it wasn't good enough when I could still hear the cheers. They leaked through the open door, echoing off the high ceiling and bare walls, mocking me as the heavy door fell shut with a bang.

I walked to the glass doors that led outside and headed into the cold, pulling my varsity jacket tighter around me.

Finally, it was silent enough for me to think. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath and trying to calm my spinning head.

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