I'M No Mercy | Changkyun | Monsta X

01. I am Changkyun

NOTES:
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It was, indeed, beyond merciless. Cruel. Not only for the three trainees that had been eliminated so far, not only for the nine guys left, but for the new trainee as well. He came, indeed, in the worst timing.

Contrary to some trainees' beliefs, when he was offered the opportunity to join the competition, Changkyun didn't accept right away; he had always said rather than worrying, it is better to try it out first and then worry about the future later. This time, however, he took some days to consider it; he thought of Nu'Bility, and what it could've been; he thought of his members, his hyungs and his maknae, they all deserved to debut, to have a second chance; he thought of his family, their struggle, their dreams of him becoming a scientist; he thought of himself, the entertainment industry, his dreams to become a known rapper. This opportunity presented to him, was his last chance to become an idol. And that's why he accepted, for himself, for his happiness. Starship called him in without explaining what they had prepared for him, but whatever it was, he would take the chance.

He was explained about him joining No Mercy just as they were coming into the restaurant. The matter was, Changkyun came to the show only some hours after Minkyun had been eliminated, and K.Will didn't prepared him for the trainees' reaction on his sudden arrival.

Not all of them looked up as Changkyun came into the room, but they all stopped eating, having lost their appetite. Only some of them bowed, the rest huffed or smirked turning their heads away. It was more than clear that they weren't pleased with his presence, Changkyun would hear them express their feelings later when the episode was aired, and it wouldn't hurt less than if they'd said those words to his face.

I didn't want to look at the new kid's face..

I can't think anything else but 'this is unfair.'

This isn't his spot, so what's he doing here?

He couldn't hear his own words greeting the trainees, the blood rushing in his ears. Not remembering being told, he was already sitting in the table with them, the most awkward moment he'd been through.

Changkyun understood why he was being ignored, he was not stupid and wasn't expecting them to accept him right away; however the trainees couldn't hide their feelings even behind their covered faces, their raged glances making him feel way smaller. He could almost hear their thoughts behind his own anxiety.

I felt like he was freeloading on what we've set up so far..

I was too upset, I was in a terrible mood, I lost my appetite and all...

What else can we do but hate right now?

And then K.Will left. He throw him to the wolves and left. The guys started making sarcastic comments on the situation that did nothing to light the tense atmosphere. Guilt filled Changkyun when one of them said he even felt sick; but it wasn't really his fault, he didn't know he'd be introduced to them in the middle of their dinner, he had no intention to ruin their meal.

"You came at the worst timing," Wonho was the one to finally address him directly.

"We can't really welcome you right now," said Kihyun.

The right timing when they'd have welcome him would've been months before the show even started. However Changkyun appreciated Kihyun gentle tone.

"Because we lost Minkyun yesterday" he continued, his statement being news for the youngest since the episode hadn't been aired yet, "and to think you replaced him, we can't quite be all nice to you." And Changkyun perfectly understood this, but it didn't help to make better the rest of the time before going back to the dorms.