Changkyun got off the bed reluctantly when the annoying ringtone of a phone disturbed his attempt to sleep for the third time in less than ten minutes. The other members had been called into the company, but he got to stay in the dorm, alone until the rest came back in a couple of hours. Apparently one of the boys had left his phone behind and someone was very persistent on contacting him.
It was Jooheon's, and apparently it was Gunhee who had been trying to reach him on the phone. It had just stopped ringing when Changkyun grabbed it and a message popped up on the screen. He didn't mean to read it, but the name of the group chat it had been sent to called his attention. Changkyun could understand if they had a group chat since they knew each other for longer than he did, but why would they call it Monstax and not include him in it?
From "Appa":
Honey and I will get there in five, you can go ahead and order.
With a little smile Changkyun put the phone down, he was about to go back to his room when another message arrived to the same chat. His name was mentioned in it.
From "Model Chae":
Hurry hyung, I have something to tell you guys about Changkyun.
Was he going to tell them about the burns covering his legs? They hadn't had the opportunity to talk about it, Hyungwon had pretty much avoided him since they tried on clothes for the upcoming presentation.
From "Minnie":
Do you have to? We already talk too much about Him in here, I don't want him to ruin our dinner too.
Changkyun gasped, but didn't have time to re-read that and make sure he didn't misunderstood because another text on the lock screen replaced that one.
From "Wonho^^":
I agree. Just hurry, we have to come back home before he decides to call manager and ask for us, then we would be in trouble.
Why would they go out without him? They could at least let him know they wouldn't have dinner at the dorm so he didn't wait for them. And how Changkyun knowing would get them in trouble with the manager?
From "Eomma":
Gunhee texted me, he can't make it today but he'll see us for lunch tomorrow.
Changkyun placed the phone down on the bed and went back to his own room. If he was struggling to take a nap before, now it was impossible to even think about sleeping that night at all. He was rapidly getting overwhelmed by his own thoughts and confused by his own feelings and those he perceived from the others on that simple conversation over the phone.
Was it that Changkyun still not good enough for them to just accept he was part of the group too?
No.
He had been trying his best to prove he was deserving of debuting, but it was enough. If they didn't want to accept his efforts, it was their problem, not his.
Changkyun decided to do something useful with his free afternoon instead of spend it pitying himself, and waiting for the guys to come home and pretend they didn't talk about him while enjoying Korean barbecue. He grabbed his coat and got on his way to the company, he was going to work on his rap and maybe have some dinner with K.Will at the studio.
~*~
"It's late, you need to rest all you can before tomorrow. I'll walk you home."
Changkyun nodded with a smile and checked his phone; it was past midnight and he had a few missed calls. He walked alongside the vocal trainer but stopped on the corner of the dorms' building when he spotted Hyunwoo waiting for him.
"I forgot to let him know where I was.. Thanks for today, hyung; I'll see you tomorrow."
K.Will frowned at the younger's sudden change of behavior but let it go. "Have a good night, Kyunnie."
Changkyun attempted to get into the dorm after a small bow to Hyunwoo, but the elder grabbed him by the forearm. "Didn't I tell you to let one of us know your plans before going out?"
"I don't see why should I do that, I'm an adult-"
"Then fucking act like one! I don't care what your relationship with him is, I don't care about the truth behind the rumors of you getting a spot in Monsta X thanks to him," Changkyun stared at the leader in disbelief, "but if you don't want them to ruin the group's reputation, you should be more careful."
Changkyun pulled his arm free and snorted, "if this group fails, it won't be because of me, don't try to make me feel guilty."
Hyunwoo's expression became even darker and his voice deeper, "do you have a wish to die? I'm elder than you, stop acting like a teenage girl and be respectful while I ask nicely."
Changkyun bit his lip and bowed once more before going inside and into to his room, ignoring Kihyun calling him. Minhyuk was already sleeping, so Changkyun tried to make as little noise as possible and went to bed still wearing day clothes.
~*~
The next morning everyone seemed upset at Changkyun, but no one said anything until he sat down to get breakfast.
"You told him we were having dinner without you, didn't you?" Wonho huffed.
"I-"
"I know you read the messages on my phone, how else would you've known? Changkyun, we are a group, but that doesn't mean we have to be friends and hang out with you because of that. We talked about it in No.Mercy, it's not easy to accept you just like that."
"Just like that? Jooheon-ssi I-"
"You better pretend we are friends today, though. Otherwise they won't let us debut," spat Minhyuk.
"But I didn't tell anything to no one, and why wouldn't they-"
"Go get ready now, today's the last practice before debut. If you're hungry during it, think of getting home early next time" Kihyun muttered with his eyes glued to the table. Changkyun was then left alone in the kitchen, tears of frustration filled his eyes but the rapper cleaned them with a little too much force.
That night they came back to the dorms exhausted. Changkyun went directly to his room but was stopped by Hyungwon, who had kept avoiding Changkyun until now. "Are you okay?"
As if you cared.
"I am." He tried to go around the taller but was held by the shoulder. He looked actually concerned, and Changkyun had so many emotions bottled in that any sign of care could break him now.
"Wait. The burns and bruises on your legs-"
"Please, don't." Changkyun looked up and he could swear there was sincerity on the taller's eyes. "Not now."
Hyungwon let him go, but a feeling of guilt that filled him with Changkyun's plea pushed him to finally share what he had seen with one of his hyungs. The one who would probably let any resentment go once he got to knew the maknae wasn't doing well.
YOU ARE READING
I'M No Mercy | Changkyun | Monsta X
Fanfiction[...] In my head I kept calling them mister, When they loved to hear me say hyung [...] Insight into Changkyun's life during NO.MERCY, pre-debut, and during promotions. [The story's only inspired by the show, I know some behaviors of the guys were...
