SHAME.TYSH

ALL YOURE MISSING IS MY BODY

june 2nd, 2017.

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tyler moaned and clutched josh's shoulders, starting to bounce faster with a loud moan.

josh knew this was risky, but he couldn't resist tyler. no one could, really. and especially since josh was never one to turn anyone down no matter the circumstances, it made it worse on him, because he was so desperately in love with the pretty boy on top of him.

tyler was in love with jenna though, and he was too late by the time he was ready to tell him. the same time he was about to tell him, tyler wanted to tell him something too. he was hoping for something more like "i broke up with jenna and i'm in love with you", but instead he said "she said yes!".

josh cried himself to sleep that night.

fast foward two and a half years later to this night where tyler and him are a bit tipsy, even though they only had two or three drinks (as tyler was a lightweight). somehow it turned into small kisses, making out, then it turned into taking each other's clothes off.

tyler had laughed and asked him not to tell his wife. josh doesn't know if he could keep that promise.

since this was the only time he'll probably ever be able to ask, he just goes for it. "t-tyler, kiss me. please." he begs. he doesn't mean to sound so needy, but he can't help it. not with how beautiful tyler looks - a messy head of brown and lust filled eyes, even though josh knows it's only because he's drunk and turned on.

he can still see some paint left on his hands and neck. he was too excited to properly wash it all off, and josh wonders what they (the fans, his friends, maybe even his family) would think if this got out.

tyler grunts and rolls his eyes. "i told you i don't want to kiss and shit, j." he says with irritation in his voice, even though they were kissing no more than maybe fifteen minutes ago. he slows his bouncing and looks down at the yellow-haired man with an annoyed expression.

"i know, but please. just this once?" josh bites his lip. "ugh, fine. but we're never going to do it again, alright? savor this moment, weirdo." tyler laughs a bit at the end.

josh fights off a frown, pretending it doesn't feel like a stab to his heart and gently places his rough, calloused hands on the brunet's face as he starts to go back to a faster pace. josh wants to go for a slow, deep kiss but tyler beats him to it and kisses him harshly, then pulling away after less than two seconds.

"sorry if that's not what you wanted." it seems like he's able to read his mind. but josh can tell that he's not being sincere, and that he could care less.

josh allows him to use him, to get off, for the rest of the night. however, it doesn't last too long and josh supposes that tyler is probably both grossed and weirded out by josh's request. he hopes tyler won't remember any of it the next morning, though he extremely doubts it. it was only two drinks.

tyler sighs when he gets off of josh. but not one of those happy sighs, it's more like one of those frustrated sighs. he puts his boxers back on and crawls underneath the covers, back facing josh.

"thanks for tonight, but we're never doing this again. goodnight, j." he mumbles.

"y-yeah. um, see you tomorrow." josh tries not to sound disappointed or upset, but utterfly fails.

he gets up, puts his clothes back on, and goes back to his own hotel room.

with shaking hands, he calls jenna. it rings four times before the blonde answers the phone.

"josh? what's up? are you okay?" she sounds worried.

"n-no, um-" he stutters. he feels the tears coming, and he feels his chest tightening. the tears do come, and they come in hot trails on his face. he doesn't mean to cry, but it's hard when your best friend probably hates you now and then his wife will too after this phone call.

why does he always ruin everything?

"what happened?" and now she sounds alarmed, awake.

"t-tyler and i-" he hiccups. "we had s-sex. i'm sorry j-jenna." he sniffles. he knew he wouldn't be able to keep this from her.

jenna goes silent and hangs up. josh cries himself to sleep once more because of tyler joseph.