Lifeline {Peeta Mellark}

10

Letting feelings out

While the tributes trained I went up to the roof of the building.

Thinking about Alex my mind slowly went to Peeta, confused on why I thought of Peeta. I thought about the sparks.

Staying up on that roof until the sun started to go down. I sat on the edge of the building, I thought back to the Games and thought of the girl I torture.  Suddenly a memory took over my mind and my eyes shut.

<flashback>

I was in district 4 standing before the families of the children I have killed or torture. I was receiving glares from everyone. I took a deep breath and said my speech.

"Being in the games was not easy. I know that first hand, these tributes fought hard and well. In the games, you do not know when or if you are going to die. I am grateful that the capital has made me feel like a victor by bathing in riches and food.  Penman today, penman tomorrow. Penman forever--" I was cut off by screams and cries from everyone.

People started to throw things towards the stage I was on. The parents of the children I killed tried to run onto the stage.

I was taken away and sent back to the train.

<End Of Flashback>

I felt tears leave my eyes and drop onto my legs. I wished I didn't win the games, I wish I died in the arena.

I heard the door to the roof open so I quickly wipe my tears away. I turn around to see Peeta staring at me, "Sorry. I um didn't know anyone was up here."

I stand up and walk towards the door, "Don't worry I was just leaving." I was about to open the door when a hand wrapped around mine own. Glancing up at Peeta I raised an eyebrow, "Can we talk about the games?"

I laugh, "Yeah I am your mentor so you can ask me anything." We walk over to the edge and sit down.

"What are the games like?" He asks,

"Scary. You always have this constant fear that you'll never be able to see your loved ones again." I start looking over at him, "Every step or choice you make is life or death."

I watch as he sighs. Peeta continues to ask questions, soon Katniss comes up and gets us for dinner.

I sat across from Peeta, Haymitch asked about how the training was. Katniss tells him it was alright but then asks about Cato whom is in district 2.

"He's a career. Do you know what that is?" Haymitch asks, I roll my eyes. I mean like come on who doesn't know what that is?

"From District One," Katniss says,

"And Two," Peeta adds,

"They train in a special academy until they are eighteen. Then they volunteer. By then," Haymitch shrugs, "They're pretty lethal."

"Not really. In my games they sucked. " I say making everyone look at me, I smile sweetly but then go back to eating.

"But they don't receive any special treatment." Effie says, "In fact, they stay in the exact same apartment as you. And I don't think they let them have dessert, and you can."

"I don't think they care about desert Effie," I mumble,

"So how good are they?" Peeta asks,

"Obviously they are good since they will almost every year," Haymitch tells him,

"Almost." Effie and I say,

Haymitch tells  Katniss something then asks her if she can shoot.

"I'm alright." She says,

"She better than alright. My father buys her squirrels  and says that she hit them right in the eye every time." Peeta tells us. I feel my insides tighten and I grip my fork, I find myself glaring at Katniss with a weird feeling in the pit of  my stomach

I tune them out until I hear Peeta yell, "I have no chance of winning! None! Alright?" He gets up from the table and walks to his room.

"I'll go talk to him," I mumble getting up and walking to his room.

I knock on his door and hear a go away. I open the door and walk in, I see Peeta sitting and leaning on the side of his bed staring out the window with tears going down his face. I sit down beside him. "You know I think you can win. You have chances."

"Says you. Your only saying this is because you're a mentor." He says,

"Peeta I am not saying this as your mentor. I am saying this as a friend. I know what it takes to win the games, and let me tell you. You have a great chance at winning the games." I tell him,

"Thanks Alice." He mumbles while placing his head on my shoulder. I tense up at his action and slowly feel the sparks.

"What was it like to lose someone you love in the games?" He asks,

"Terrible." I say, "I watched as the blood soaked his shirt and saw as the life left his eyes.  I felt anything that was human in me broke and perished away leaving me in this shell. Probably one of the worst feelings I have ever felt in the whole world. Nothing compares to it."

"What was the feeling?"

"Heartbreak." I mumble, "I lost myself and let the anger in me take over. I torture a girl because she took the one thing that made me feel human."

"You're still human." Peeta said to me,

I let out a laugh and glanced at him, " I'm not human Peeta, I'm an animal in their games, I'm a sick monster that's waiting for something to kill."

Peeta stared at me with a unknown emotion on his face, "You aren't an animal Alice, you're a young girl who went through something terrible."

Pity and sorrow was the look on his face. I hated the emotion pity.

"Don't stare at me like that Peeta." I spat at him with an icy glare,

He sat still for a few seconds, an awkward silence filled the room. Peeta took in a breath before speaking, "I don't think I would want to survive the games. I don't want to be some piece in their game."

I chuckled to myself and nodded, "It's either be a piece in their game or died one of the most painful death with over a thousand people watching."

"If you could go back," He sucked in a breath, "What would you do?"

I sat and pondering for a few minutes, my mind was already set on the answer, however my heart was taking longer to figure out what it would have wanted. I stood up from my spot before walking to the door.

"I would have done exactly what you are thinking about doing." I say before leaving the room.