One-Shots of a British-Irish boyband called Roadtrip. These One-Shots include Rye Beaumont, Andy Fowler, Sonny(Ryan) Robertson, Brooklyn Wyatt, Jack Duff, Mikey Cobban, Harper Dark, Harvey Cantwell (HRVY) and lots more.
It felt like I couldn't continue anymore, everything felt numb and my life slowly faded. Nothing and nobody could bring my smile back. I drowned in my own feelings. Our Roadies couldn't make me laugh because all I could think of was how to disappear, so the boys won't notice. The problem was that everyone seemed to notice my sad and depressed mood. Not even my boyfriend who felt the same a few years ago could help me with this. Having my own room has a few perks: I could finally write something in my journal without anyone noticing, they aren't able to see the boxes who contain razors.
My dad always said I shouldn't be afraid to ask for help but he himself never asked for help. He fought till the end without any medicine and help. He knew dying would mean that he has to leave this world. And he did, he left me alone with all these terrible feelings. I'm not even blaming him because one way or another, he would've died anyway.
Today was a bad day, it started already when I woke up. I felt like I could cry all day but I needed to be strong, if not for dad, then at least Andy deserves a boyfriend who is strong. He doesn't even deserve me. All I am is a weak, crying boy who cuts himself at times he wishes he could die. Anyways, I stood up and went downstairs with my favourite hoodie of Andy.
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When I entered the kitchen, I saw Andy making pancakes, Alex and Rye doing their well-known jumps on the trampoline, while Mack made some teas. I smiled to myself for a moment with the thoughts of how they changed me in a positive way and how they manage to keep me alive every day.
When Fovvs saw me, he came running towards me and hugged me till we smelled the burnt pancakes. "I'm sorry Andy that they burnt.", I say shyly. He kissed my forehead: "Don't worry about them babe, you're more important. You always will be. How are you feeling by the way? Do you want to tell me?" He looked really worried at me and I shook my head. "I'm alright, I just have like one of those bad days but I try to be strong and not give in." I brought a smile back on Fovvlar's face. "Because you were so honest, you get the first pancakes that aren't burnt. Well, it could take a while but take a seat and I'll be with you soon." He kissed my forehead the last time before he went back to the cooking area.
I made my way to the living room/ eating area. I sat down, smelled my hoodie that still smelled like the only Andrew Robert Fowler and looked at all the pictures our beautiful Roadies created. Maybe someday, I don't think these bad thoughts, I won't cut myself and I can be happy again. I wanna smile again with Andy by my side. He is probably the best thing that happened to me besides the band obviously.
