One shots Kylo Ren

#31 He Helps you Mourn

Synopsis: long one and sad lots of crying. You're a knight he killed your brother who was training with him to be a Jedi he tells you about it and returns something to you and eventually realizes you're just like him in the end.

"Alright let's begin pair up," the knights were  pairing each other up as Kylo growled under his breath "there's only 5 of you, whose missing?"

"Mater Ren Y/N is not here,"
He crossed his arms over his chest frustratedly seeing that you were his strongest knight that the others looked to. Clenching his jaw he exited the room walking swiftly to the Knight hall. He walked down to the last door not even knocking as he slid the door open.

"Y/N," he grumbled deeply. You were laying down in your bed silently covered by a blanket completely face down into a pillow.

"Why aren't you at the lesson?" He paused waiting for an answer but none came. He was getting agitated now "are you sick?" Still no answer. So he walked around the bed to the opposing side standing next to you but you didn't even flinch.

"I know you're awake."

You took in a breath and turned your head to the side, " I quit." Was all that you said as one tear rolled down your cheek. He looked down at your covered face, " You can't quit. There
is no quitting," he explained annoyingly.

"Then kill me," his eyes practically popped out of their sockets as he stared down at your lifeless body. He uncovered your head from the blanket, "get out of bed and get to training," he yelled as he walked towards the door but you didn't move. He kept yelling, "what kind of example are you trying to set for the other knights when you're the strongest one out of them all." He pulled out his Sabre igniting it and slashing the wall.

"Cause you're one to talk," you spat out.
"Excuse me," he said walking over closer to you with his Sabre still in hand. You lifted your head glaring at him, "what kind of example were you setting when you walked into the Jedi temple and destroyed everyone!" He was shocked you had never raised your voice at him before as you covered your head again with the blanket. It had been exactly two years from this day since he had turned to the dark side and killed many of his companions. He looked down at his hand deactivating his Sabre realizing that you were mourning the loss of someone. He stood there standing above you. "Who did you know?" He asked calmly staring at your uncovered long hair. You remained silent for a few minutes and finally whispered, "Callion."
"Was he a friend of yours?" As you whispered under the covers, "brother," you said sweetly as though he had never left. Kylo felt remorse for you as he closed his eyes breathing calmly, he had killed many that day and Callion was one he would never forget. He holstered his Sabre as he knelt down next to your head, "you never got to say goodbye," he said as you shook your head no. "Let me help you," he said gently as he made his way around the bed to sit in front of you. You felt the bed shift and decided to comply seeing that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Killing your brother was the hardest thing I had to do that day." You nodded silently with your eyes still closed. "He was a good friend of mine he was always ahead of me in class," a tear slipped down your cheek slowly to his recollection. "Was he a good brother?" You nodded silently again as more tears fell onto you shirt while taking a breath through your mouth and swallowing silently. "When I found him he was one of the few left he tried to persuade me but I was...ruthless," he admitted looking up to see you trying to process all of this. He reached into his robe until he touched something thin. As he grasped it he pulled it out slowly from his cape.

" I found this on him," you looked up at this face. "And I've kept it all this time since," he said quietly as a stray tear escaped his right eye but he wiped it away quickly disregarding any emotions. The last thing he wanted was to give you a reason to be more upset by seeing him upset.

You looked down to the cushion as he placed it gently between you two. You gasped when you looked at it. It looked the same as the first time you saw it. You closed your eyes placing a hand over them in silence. Kylo watched silently and regretfully as his knight was being torn apart in front of him. You uncovered your eyes to look at it again. As you were staring you couldn't help but notice the scratch marks on the corner.

"Did someone give this to him with a name starting with a T? I saw the letter in the corner." But you shook your head no closing your eyes again as your cheeks were becoming more and more stained by the second. You finally spoke up softly, "it wasn't his." But Kylo waited. He was patient he was a good listener and he saw your pain and he wanted to make it all go away if only he'd spared Callion that day. He owed this respect to you so he sat patiently.

As you opened your eyes again slowly, "It was Taren's." He watched as your eyes traced over the object back and forth until you closed them again. So he sat there he sat there with you because you needed him to and he knew that. You would never have to tell him that you needed him because he already knew that you did. He took off his glove on his left hand and delicately placed it on your cheek catching more tears as they were still forming. "He wasn't alone," once he said this you lifted your head up giving him your full attention. He pulled back his hand putting the glove back on.

"A child had been following him all day and he was still with him when I found him," you gasped lightly as you bowed your head to your chest. "Before I," he paused not wanting to finish that sentence for your sake as more tears flowed down your cheeks. "Callion turned around and knelt down on one knee he whispered something into the boys ear and then hugged him tightly." Kylo looked up from his lap as he saw you leaning back and breathing heavily and crying even harder than before. After a few minutes of silent crying you went back to facing him and looked at his face.
"It was painless," he added as you nodded gently taking a deep breath.

"They didn't die alone," you whispered smiling gently to yourself. Kylo looked up at you from his lap again then you looked back to the object sitting in front of you.

"It still bothers you this much two years later," he wondered out loud
"I helped him etch the T into the corner the morning before they left, i gave it to him for when he was older but he insisted to take it with him," you traced the silver handle.

"It was yours?" You looked up at him forgetting that he was still there. He didn't know he never knew because you never told him. As the tears came back you slowly moved your hand on top of the object raising your hand a foot above it, closing your eyes the light Sabre flew up to your hand like a magnet. The connection was so strong it was as though you had never stopped using the force. Kylo was speechless he was awe stricken that you his strongest knight were just like him a force user. You slowly brought the Sabre to your chest " I was suppose to go with Callion," you said letting out a deep breath.

Kylo's eyes widened you could of trained with him by his side when he was still in the light, but you could have also been dead if you'd went. You might have been the reason he wouldn't have gone dark. And here he was sitting in front of you someone he had caused so much pain and yet you trained every day to gain his approval. He was training you to be a knight but you weren't a knight you could have been his apprentice he was desperately searching for. After all this time you were standing right in front of him how could he not see it. He had broken you so deeply he was uncertain if he could put you back together but that doesn't mean he wasn't going to try. He didn't care how long it would take him he owed this to you and to think that you were taking criticisms from the man who destroyed you in every possible way imaginable. He would never dare criticize you again and let alone anyone else harm you. For you had been through enough and Kylo vowed to be your shield against anyone or thing trying to hurt you.