Shawn Mendes Imagines & One Shots

Virgin Part 4

You don't care what he did or didn't mean. Your ego hurts from the rejection, your head aches from the stress of today but most of all, your heart longs for Shawn to want you as much as you want him.

"Just take me home."

You roll over for the 3000th time and check your phone. No missed calls. No texts. Nothing. Since Shawn dropped you off 5 hours ago, you've been checking your phone periodically, like every. Damn. Minute.

You're not quite sure what you're expecting. An apology text? An explanation for why he bailed you out of work, kissed you in his driveway, acted like it was nothing then drop you off without a goodbye?

Shawn had literally stopped the car outside your block and stared straight ahead, waiting for you to get out. If you could have felt more hurt then it would have been in that moment. Your heart physically ached as you slid out of the car and shut the door behind you.

You'd had a call from Tony, he said how sorry he was for Jacob's behaviour and he'd be keeping him on close observation from now on. It didn't make you feel much better but at least it was something.

Shawn, however, is still on your mind, even now. You touch your lips, recalling the kiss in his car. Your body had ached for him to go further, for him to touch you, claim you.

But he'd backed away as soon as you'd tried. Like he wasn't keen. Like he wasn't interested. Maybe you'd been a bad lay? Maybe he thought having sex with you was a mistake? Maybe you shouldn't have leapt at the chance to de-virginise yourself so quickly? Maybe he thought you were a slut.

Fuck. So many thoughts and the one person who can ease your mind, is the one driving you absolutely crazy.

You huff in anger and flop back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Your phone buzzes and you scramble with lightning speed to check the caller. It's your mom. Disappointment rips through you followed by guilt. You haven't spoken to your mom for a couple of days, she'd been away at the weekend and you missed her voice.

"Hey mom, how are you?" You lie back down on the bed, putting your phone on speaker and resting it on your chest.

"I'm good honey, how about you?"

Man where could you even begin? You've gone from "work's good" to "I'm being harassed by a colleague and I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back".

Love.

Are you in love? Yes. Undoubtedly. All those weeks of friendship, the offer, the way you'd jumped at the chance to kiss Shawn, the fantasies. The deep ache in your chest, the yearning to spend more time with him. Of course you're in love with him. You'd known it even from the start. And it was stupid to even ask yourself not to get your heart involved. It already was from day one.

"Hon?" You mom asks and you realise you've been silent whilst contemplating your thoughts.

"Sorry, I've just had a lot on my plate recently." You sigh.

"I hope everything's okay sweetie, we're always here for you. To lend a caring hand or a sympathetic ear."

You're actually pretty choked up, with today's events and the whole weekend in general, you'd love nothing more than a cuddle from your mom. You swallow back the tears as you begin to talk to your mom about everything.

You chat about LA and your mom tells you about home and your family. You miss it and find yourself tearing up ever so often at the thought of your family arguing about what pizza toppings they want. You miss it so much.

Finally, after an hour of chatting, you say goodbye to your mom. You feel low, having heard about all the antics at home, you're missing it, you didn't tell your mom all the details of work, just about Jacob being a pain and she told you to consider if the job is actually worth it. Worth the drama and the minimal pay. Is it? You're feeling lonely, especially as you lie in bed in your empty flat.