close as strangers ↣ joshler ✓

10. Awkward

Tyler stood there, frozen, paper in his hands. If he wasn't stuck he probably would have dropped them.

He was just staring at Josh, no words coming out. He wanted to die. Too many emotions were running through his head for his brain to even process what was going on.

Josh didn't say anything either so Tyler took that as his chance to scan the younger. He had changed a lot in the past nine years. His hair was now blonde which was weird for Tyler to see it so neutral. He had plugs in his ears but his nose ring was still there. Josh was wearing a short sleeved shirt which showed off the tattoo sleeve he had. On his other arm Tyler could see a small part of what looked like a heart tattoo. His eyes floated back up to Josh's face and saw he had slight stubble, remembering he hated that and always shaved when they were friends. His eyes then caught the small tattoo by his ear and Tyler's heart sank when he saw it was a planter box that held flowers.

"You covered your tattoo," Tyler blurted out, not even meaning to.

Josh didn't say anything at first and Tyler saw that his hand was shaking. Josh clenched it and swallowed. "Uh, yeah," he nodded.

"I didn't cover mine," Tyler replied in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"I can't do this," Josh stood up and Tyler noticed he had tears in his eyes. "What the fuck did I do to deserve this?" He walked over to the door and stood in front of Tyler. "Can you move out of my way? I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I said I'm leaving," he spat, a tear rolling down his cheek. Tyler felt horrible. Guilt was drowning him and he didn't think a rescue boat was coming to save him.

"No, Josh," Tyler involuntarily grabbed Josh's wrist and the latter immediately yanked it out, glaring at Tyler.

"Don't fucking touch me," he hissed.

"You paid for a whole session. Your money's gonna go to waste," Tyler told him, the guilt increasing more every second. He didn't even think rescue boats existed at this point.

"My insurance is covering it and I don't care," Josh opened the door and suddenly froze. He turned back around and had tears streaming down his face. He wiped at them harshly before walking back in and shutting the door. "I'm only staying because I don't want to wait in the waiting room and my girlfriend won't be here until 1:30."

"Girlfriend?" Tyler felt his heart shatter.

"I'm not talking to you, asshole," he sat back down on the couch and crossed his arms. "Do not talk to me either. I'm leaving in forty minutes and then you'll never have to see me again. Wasn't that your plan in the beginning?"

Tyler didn't reply. He didn't know what to say. All he did was walk back over to his desk and sit down. The clock in the room ticked annoyingly, the sound haunting the two men. They sat in radio silence for seven minutes (Tyler had kept track. What else was he supposed to do?) before Josh spoke.

"Fuck this," Josh pulled out his phone. Tyler watched him press something on the screen before holding the phone to his ear. "Could you maybe not watch me? It's fucking creepy," he muttered, waiting for whoever he was calling to pick up. He sat like that for a moment before the scowl on his face deepened. He pulled back and ended the call before typing a few more things on his phone. He let out a groan a few seconds later.

"What's wrong?"

"I said don't fucking talk to me."

Tyler wanted to cry. He wanted to go home, sit on his bed, crawl into a ball, and cry. He swallowed before looking down at his desk. If Josh didn't want to talk to him, he didn't have to. Tyler deserved it. He was a horrible person. It was all his fault.

Instead, Tyler grabbed one of the papers he printed off and began filling it out. It was just more paperwork for the office but he didn't mind doing it. It was better than just hearing his ex hate him.

"She can't come until 1:30," Josh piped up. "That's what was wrong. She's taking our dog to the vet."

"Jim?" Tyler looked up at him.

"No. Freddie."

"Oh," Tyler looked back down, not knowing what else to say.

"Yes like Freddie Mercury."

The brunette looked back up and saw Josh staring at him, eyes red and puffy. "Pardon?"

"He's named after Freddie Mercury. I figured you were going to say something about it."

"You didn't want me to talk to you," Tyler replied simply. "Do you still have Jim?"

"Yeah," Josh nodded, looking down at the ground. "He's ten though and golden retrievers only live ten to twelve years so..." he trailed off.

"Oh," he repeated. "How old is Freddie?"

"Seven. He's a husky so he should live twelve to fifteen years. They're attached at the hip though. It's like they're dating," he smiled ever so slightly.

"Do you wanna um... tell me about your girlfriend?" He spoke tentatively.

"Um..." Josh wiped the tear tracks that were left on his cheeks. "Her name's Reagan. She's 25. She's a pediatric nurse. We've been together for five years and we live together. Freddie's technically her dog— that's how I met her; we were at the park and Jim ran over to him and we just kinda clicked," he shrugged. "I love her a lot. She's like my soulmate."

Tyler ignored the way his heart broke at that. "It sounds like you really love her," he told Josh sincerely.

"Yeah," the small smile returned. "I'm gonna marry her."

"Are you two engaged?"

"No. I wanna ask soon though. We were a little behind on money this month. I don't have a ring or anything picked out."

Tyler wanted to cry yet again. Here he was, listening to his ex best friend and boyfriend, tell him about the girl he's madly in love with. On top of that Tyler was his fucking therapist.

He really wanted to cry.

"That's cool," Tyler plastered a fake smile on his face.

"Your hair's long," Josh pointed out.

"Yeah."

"It suits you."

"Thanks."

"Why'd you come back to Columbus?"

Tyler thought for a moment, deciding on how much he wanted to tell Josh. He didn't trust him like he used to even though Josh obviously trusted him enough to be talking to him right now. "New Jersey got boring and I missed my friends," he said simply. "There was an opening for a therapist here too so I decided why not."

"Cool," Josh nodded.

The two didn't speak anymore after that. Josh had about twenty more minutes until he was leaving. The silence wasn't as award this time though. It wasn't comforting, but it wasn't awkward.

When 1:30 rolled around Tyler stood up. "Your uh, session is over."

"Oh," Josh blinked. "Okay," he stood up as well, grabbing his jacket that he had laid next to him.

"I'm supposed to walk you out to the waiting room."

"Alright."

The two left the room and walked down the hall before Tyler led Josh back into the waiting room. "Uh... bye," he spoke, scratching the back of his neck.

"Bye," Josh mumbled, walking through the two sets of automatic doors before entering a car parked outside. Tyler could see a girl in the driver's seat and Josh got in, kissing her on the lips.

Tyler really really wanted to cry.