close as strangers ↣ joshler ✓

20. Make Up

Last chapter! A super long epilogue will be posted sometime tomorrow (or the day after I dunno depends how long it'll be) so don't give up on me just yet!

It was Sunday.

Two days after Tyler's blowout with Josh.

It was his day off.

He was currently spending it under his covers in his room, crying.

Jenna would come in from time to time to check on him. Biscuit would come in too but Tyler wouldn't acknowledge her so she just got bored and left.

He was still decided what to do about him and Josh hooking up. He figured when he went in on Monday he'd ask if they could switch him to a new therapist. They didn't have to know what had happened. No one else had to know.

He was in the middle of wiping his tears when he heard his phone buzz, signaling he got a text.

Unknown number:

Hey uh

It's Josh

I'm sorry Ty

That was fucked up

I've been thinking the past couple of days and I didn't want to rush into an apology and say the wrong shit

Would you be willing to come over and talk this out?

Tyler stared at the screen in disbelief. As much as he wanted to hate Josh, he couldn't. He was still so hopelessly in love with him.

Sure

Really?

He smiled as he read the text from Josh.

Yeah. Give me twenty minutes to get ready. Text me your address

Thanks, Ty

The brunette didn't reply, instead locking his phone so he could get ready to go. He didn't know how long he'd be gone or how draining this conversation would be.

---

Tyler took a deep breath, ascending the steps to Josh's front door. When he reached it, he rang the doorbell and waited patiently. He heard barking a few moments later Josh opened the door, a tired look on his face. "Hey."

Tyler was about to respond when Jim walked out of the house. He went over to Tyler and sniffed him. It lasted for a few seconds before the golden retriever let out a growl. "Nice to see you too, Jim," Tyler said sarcastically. The dog turned around and walked back in. He looked back up at Josh. "Hi."

"You can uh," he stepped aside. "Come in."

Tyler nodded and complied, walking through the door. Josh shut it behind him and stood there awkwardly. Tyler saw he was wearing another black shirt and grey sweatpants. He looked exhausted and when Tyler glanced up at his face Josh wouldn't meet his eye.

"Are we gonna ta—"

"I'm sorry," Josh blurted out. "I'm so, so sorry. That was such a fucked up thing to say and I blamed the whole thing on you. It was my fault too. I shouldn't have lead you on."

Tyler blinked, not expecting the sudden apology. "It's okay."

"No it's not," Josh sighed. "You don't have to forgive me but I want you to at least know I feel like shit for it. I got scared and panicked and it was a defense mechanism. It was shitty and I'm sorry."

Tyler didn't know what to say to that. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah," he nodded, looking at the ground.

"How much of that did you mean?"

"Uh..." he swallowed. "I didn't mean any of it."

"Not even when you said you don't love me and you never will?" Tyler questioned.

"Not even then," Josh then looked up at him. "I do still like you, Tyler. I never stopped loving you. I think that's why I freaked out the other morning. Because I realized even if we were drunk all the feeling were sober. I know I just got out of a relationship and I'm still healing with that and I do still love Reagan but I love you too. That's why I hated you for so long. It was easier than loving you when you didn't love me back. I promise I loved Reagan with my whole heart but I also loved you. I loved you both."

"I love you too, J," Tyler whispered. "I always have."

Josh took a step closer to Tyler, grabbing his chin and tilting his head up ever so slightly. Even after all that time Josh was still taller. "Tyler. I'm confused. I'm scared. I'm hurt. I'm upset. But most of all I'm going crazy. I don't know what I wanna do but I do know I want you in my life. Regardless. I'm still trying to figure everything out and I hope you'll stick around for me to do that and we can see where we go. I won't let you down. Not again. I won't hurt you. Ever. If I do you have permission to take me out of your life."

Tyler felt tears prick his eyes and he had to refrain from wiping them. "Promise?" He whispered, looking into Josh's warm brown eyes.

"I promise," Josh looked back at him, bringing his thumbs up to wipe Tyler's tears. His eyes flickered down to Tyler's lips and pressed a light and gentle kiss to them. It only lasted a couple seconds but when Josh pulled back Tyler's lips were tingling. "Please. Give me one last chance."

"Okay," Tyler nodded. "Okay," he repeated.

Josh let out a sigh of relief and pulled Tyler in for a hug, rocking them back and forth slightly while they did so. "Thank you. If I hurt you again you have permission to kick my ass."

Tyler pulled away and gave Josh a small smile. "You sure I could do that? My Pokémon stats still aren't very good," he teased.

"God I missed you. So much. I missed my best friend."

"I missed mine as well," Tyler replied. "Let's not be idiots. I'm too emotionally drained to be that stupid ever again. I can't do this again in another nine years," he laughed gently.

"Deal," Josh nodded, laughing as well.

"And hey," the brunette interrupted. "Don't try to rush anything. Take as long as you need to figure shit out. I'll be right here when you're ready. Go at your own pace. Just let me know and we can go on from there."

"Thanks, Ty," Josh paused. "I appreciate you."

"I appreciate you too."