"Are you mad? Taking mother to France could put her in worse condition than if we leave here here!" Linnea yells at Terrin as I usher Tove out of the room nodding at Per to go with them. "It's her decision, we can't keep her in isolation like an animal. She wants to see whom from the Vatican tells Henry that she is dead because she's clearly not dead" he spits back as I roll my eyes, my husband should be married to his other woman now. But I heard Olivia returned again, I'm not sure who she is but Sebastian told me before I left that I have to watch her around Francis. "Linnea, dear, I want to go. Take me please" mother begs as I sigh and sink further into the chair I'm on. "What if we take Elizabeth? Would that make you more comfortable?" I ask as he nods placing his hand on his chin. "I suppose. It's settled then, we leave in half an hour." Linnea informs us before taking a seat next to mother. "Somethings going to go wrong, I can feel it" Terrin mutters, taking my hand and guiding me out the room so mother and Linnea can talk more about leaving and get packed. "I am not to blame if something goes wrong, Henry is mad there's no telling what he'll do" I tell him as we reach my chambers, the same chambers I would stay in as a kid in summer when I would come to see mother. It's old, but I like it. I walk-in the room and sigh, leaving England was always hard but risking mothers health is worse. Why would Terrin ever agree to this? Unless they have a hidden plan but I wouldn't know. For a queen I don't know much, all I know is some useless facts and how to send someone to the rope. That's it. Pacing around my room I hear a candle be locked off but it doesn't faze me I keep pacing and tugging at my hair, breathing deeper and deeper at each tug. I feel a hand on my shoulder and get spinner around and pinned to the ground a hand covering my mouth and a voice in my ear in a hot whisper in my ear. "Don't scream, your grace" he whispers using the hand on my mouth to lift my dress above my genitalia and start to pat it, his rough fingers dragging over my area as I start to panic, fighting his touch and trying to pry myself out of his grip. His hand getting tighter around my neck and tears roll down my cheeks as he pushes himself inside of me, not even using his fingers to make it hurt less. Right in with his semi erect area and thrusting deeply into me, I can feel liquid begin to run down my leg, maybe blood, maybe some other bodily fluid. He grunts quietly as tightening his grip on my hip and neck as I begin to feel more pain but I can't scream, not because he told me not to, but because I can't breathe in enough oxygen to help me scream. Because I can't scream out of fear or pain, because I'm numb. I can feel him moving inside me, every twitch he has, every ounce of pleasure he gets from this, everything. I can feel everything. I can feel my whole world crashing and I can feel my purity being taken away from me as every second goes by. I feel my marriage fail because I am not pure, I can feel my reign fail if I become pregnant by rape, I can feel me weakening. I can feel everything. And as it feels, time stands still and the pressure of the mans body on and in me fades slightly but I can move, I can't breathe. All I know is I'm being dragged to a separate carriage from my family and sitting alone for a long journey back to France.
I am broken.
~France
"Ah there they are, welcome back your majesty" Henry yells as I leave the carriage, I see my mother staring at him and at me. I pray to god that he cannot see the marks from my assault. "Thank you" I say walking behind him back into the castle. My eyes meet Catherine's before darting to Francis and then to the ground in front of me. I want to go inside. Once inside I walk into my chambers and flop in the bed, lord help whoever walked in that door next because I don't think I'll be able to handle anyone here with me. Olivia's here, Mary's still at my throat, mother's here, and I've been raped. I was raped. I was raped. I Was Raped. The door creaks open and someone shuffled in but I stay faced down on the bed and holding back tears. "Madeleine, what's wrong love?" Catherine asks m, touching my shoulder as I freak and run to the other side of the room, letting tears fall and sobs escape my lips as I hold my body close and put a hand in front of my head to hide my shame. "Were you raped?" Catherine asks, leaning in front of me as I sob more. "I'm only going to ask you this once. So we are both clear on what you've endured this night. Were you raped?" She asks again as I sob, nodding in the process. "Take my hand. Trust that I can get you through this, because I swear to you I can" she speaks again, reaching her hand out to me as I stare at it. "I know you don't want to be touched, that's alright. But, you're safe. I don't know how you managed to escape but you did. You are alive. You will survive this. I know this because I survived. You know that. They try to destroy you by taking your pride and your strength, but those things cannot be taken, not from you. Not ever." She assures me, shaking her head as she speaks as I stare at her through my tears.
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"These next moments of your life will either define you as a victim or as a powerful Queen, untouched by failed a assassination attempt. They will define who you are perceived to be, your place in history. Do not let them win. Trust me. Trust me and let me help you. Trust that I can get you through this because I swear to you that I can." She finishes what she's saying as I take her hand and allow her to wipe away my tears. "What if I want to be honest?" I ask her in a hushed whisper as she shakes her head. "In time, my dear. What we need now is for you to trust me and Francis, he is your husband, we cannot have you two splitting before your reign together begins" she tells me as I sob once more and looking into her eyes once more. As I sit here staring at our hands in touch I think of the night I left for England. Francis and I had gotten our marriage approved by the Vatican, we spent some time in a home away from the castle. I'm not pure, I wasn't pure before the assault but with Francis and I being in secret still, I have to live with the lie that I'm pure. Francis took my purity. We had sex. We could have a baby.
"We don't have to do this,my love. If anything should happen to me..." Francis starts, leaning on his arm above me. "I want to, I won't let anything happen to you. Please, I want to" I tell him as he nods and smiles, flipping me above him as I reconnect our lips. He smiles into the kiss and moves his lips to my neck, flipping us back over so that he is dominant. I laugh as his slightly scruffed beard tickles my neck causing him to laugh before readying himself for our nightly plans.
"Dear god, I hope your pregnant"
He wants me to be with child, Our child. A child for us. To secure my place at court. To secure our marriage.
"Catherine" I ask as she replies with a light 'mm' and looks at me. "Francis and I, did something before I left..." I begging as she smiles. "I saw the marks, you both are quite the eager ones aren't you" she says as I blush. "He wants me to be pregnant" I tell her as she looks at me. "Well, are you?" She asks, it's been quite some time since I left. Not some days. It's been five weeks.
