i care about you || drarry

want but can't have

(Harry's POV)
(This happens straight after the last chapter - no time jump)

Harry smiled at Draco as he left. Harry wanted Draco, he wanted Draco to be his, only his. Now that Harry was constantly around Draco, he couldn't think of anyone or anything else, not even Ron and Hermione. Harry was in his heaven whenever he was with or around Draco. For the past two days, all Harry' s thoughts had been of him and Draco kissing, cuddling, being together and holding hands.

Harry quickly glanced at the clock, he did that quite often, almost to see if time was speeding up. It was 2:30. It had been five minutes since Draco had left and suddenly something clicked in Harry's mind. He quickly glanced at the sign that was outside his room sat on the desk. It read: Visiting Hours: 11 am - 3 pm
Draco's words echoed back to him, "I've got to go to my office and check these over, I'll be back in an hour."
Harry knew that Draco didn't need an hour to go over two sets of results, he could do that in 20 minutes if he wanted to. Harry knew that Draco needed only 20 minutes but Ron and Hermione didn't because they didn't spend most of their time staring at Draco.

Draco was basically saying to Harry that he'd be back with the results when Ron and Hermione had left. Harry felt like Draco knew he didn't want Ron and Hermione to be there for the results because they would make a fuss no matter what the results were and Harry didn't want to deal with that right now. 'If only he knew how I felt' Harry thought. Harry was soon woken from his thoughts by the sound of his stomach.

"Hermione, have you got any chocolate chip cookies in that bag?"

"Let me check," Hermione replied, she rummaged around in the bag, "I don't. Um... do you want me to get some from the cafe?"

"Yes please," Harry replied, feeling grateful that he had such great friends, "Thank you."

Hermione smiled at Harry before she left.

"Hey, mate, honestly, how are you feeling?" Ron asked, as soon as Hermione was out of site.

"Fine." Harry replied.

"Harry, mate, please tell me. I know you're not fine, can you just tell me the truth?"

Tears welled up in Harry's eyes as he replied, "I'm fine physically but mentally, I'm so fucked up Ron. I can't bear the fact that you blame yourself, okay, I've overheard your conversations with 'Mione. Everyone hates me now. Ginny won't want to see, you saw the look on George's face and your mum actually left the room when I came out. I just really hurt mentally and I can't stop it. I don't know if I can go back to the burrow because I know and you know I wont be accepted for who I am there. My mental health is bad enough already with my anxiety and PTSD. The only time my mind partially come to peace is when - is when I think - is when I think about..."

"When you think about what?" pressed Ron.

"When I think about..." Then Harry completely broke down. He couldn't stop the sobs, he couldn't stop shaking, he just wanted to be held by him - he just wanted to be held by Draco. Ron pulled him into a hug but this hug was different to the ones Ron had given Harry before. It was full of friendship, compassion, kindness and slowly Harry started to calm down.

"Hey, it's okay Harry, it's alright, everything will be okay." Ron said tenderly.

Harry felt so grateful to have Ron, he would do anything for Harry and this meant a massive deal to Harry. After about 5 minutes Harry had calmed down and he pulled out of Ron's hug. Harry needed to tell Ron, "Ron, I can't go back to the burrow."

"What, why not?" Ron asked, Harry could see the pain and fear in Ron's eyes.

"Your family don't accept me anymore, they all hate me. I don't want to live with people who hate me. It's having to much of a strain on me Ron."