Royally Rebellious

Chapter 22

~America's POV~

After getting our luggage together, me, August, Ashton, Aspen, and a few other rebels board our private plane to go to Baffins. As I sit in the back of the rows of seats, I try to ignore the pounding of my heart in my chest, getting anxious about seeing him in person for the first time in five years.

I know I put up this protective cover and avoid all topics about him, but it's just because I'm not ready to open up that old box of feelings and mistakes in that relationship. In all reality, I want to forget all about my time in the selection, but there's no way I can when everything I do is compared to my days in the selection.

And it's not like I'm bashing the selection or anything. In fact, I thank it in some ways, because it gave me a beautiful daughter and helped give me a successful career. But, it's still not enough to compare to all the heartbreak and pain afterwards. Well, the selection really didn't cause that, a certain prince did.

But... I'm not ready to open up about that, and I'll think I never will, because once I slit open that sealed box of feelings and memories I had with him, it'll just get too overbearing, and I'll get thrown off my axis, and I don't need that.

That's why this "meet up" with him will be business only. Nothing else. I can't let down my guard when I see him, no matter how hard it will be. I can't expose myself to get hurt again. This time, it's not just me anymore. I have Angie. I need to be more careful for her sake.

I feel someone sit next to me, and I look up to see Ashton. I almost groan, because-don't get me wrong, I love him- but right now's not the time. He already has me slightly pissed off and I'm freaking tired and need a nap. But alas, I turn to him, and give him a weak smile that I wish I could say was real. Fake it to you make it, right? Well, it's like he can see straight through me when he speaks.

"America, you don't have to fake with me, you can show your true feelings." He says softly wrapping a protective arm around me. I almost feel an urge to shrug it off, but I decide that would be pretty mean. Besides, his words almost wanna make me slap his very cute face.

Of course I can't tell my true feelings, because If I do, I don't know if everybody- mostly me- could take it. And how am I suppose to tell my supposed boyfriend, hey, so you know that prince I was competing for in the selection and had a baby with? well yeah I most definitely might still feel something for him, but were totally okay? Yeah, glad we're on the same page.

But alas, I can't say that, because I'll come off as jerky and in my feelings. So what I do do is nod my head, acting like I'm taking his words to heart. He looks at me again, unconvinced, and I can see something dark in his eyes. I can't tell what it is, but I know it's not good. He roughly grabs my hands and holds them tightly. He looks up at me, nothing but intensity in his face.

"America, I need you to tell me right now the truth. I don't want to be broken hearted after this whole experience, but something tells me I will. So please, just be honest with me." He exclaims, not prying into what he really wants to say. This frustrates me.

"Ashton, you keep on telling me to be honest with you. About what? I'm an open book. You know most anything about me already. What am I lying to you about. Just stop beating around the bush and tell me how you're really feeling." He takes a deep breath before he looks at me again and asks his next question.

"Do you still love him?" He asks so calmly, so simple, that it scares me. The question itself scares me. And what scares me even more is I know which him he is referring to already. I instantly go on defensive mode, and give him an ear full. I rip my hands out of his, pissed off.

"Why are you asking me that? Why would I be dating you if I loved someone else? Our relationship has nothing to do with him and I can't believe you're bringing this up right now! You know how I feel about you and no one else can change that!" I shout, not caring who hears me. A few wandering heads look toward us, and I'm too upset with Ashton to scowl at them to mind their own buisness. Ashton hops out of his seat like lightning, ready to strike down on its next victim, which is sadly me.

"See, I knew it! You're getting all defensive just because of one question. If you really didn't still have feelings for him, you wouldn't be as upset as you are now!" I get up now too. I'm not just gonna sit there and let him berate me like this.

"Why are you accusing me of such things! The reason why I'm so angry is that you would ever doubt my feelings for you! Yes, at one time I did love him! But that doesn't mean I do now! I don't even understand why you brought this up in the first place! I'm done with this conversation, and I'm almost about done with you!" I yell. August is now coming over to us and guiding me away from the spot, but I seat his hands away, because I'm not finished with him. He's been bugging me so darn much, and picking, and picking, and now I've popped off.

"You don't trust me, and I'm tired of it! Why does everyone assume I can't like anyone else after the selection!? That I'm just bound to be heart broken for the rest of my life!? I'm tired of it, and I thought you of all people would understand that I'm trying to move on, and you guys keep picking and bringing it up. Well, I'm fed up. So just STOP!" I yell, and no one dare speaks. It's extremely silent, and everyone's looking at me to see my next move. But, I'm frozen in place.

Ashton looks a little hurt that I would yell at him like that, but it looks like my point has come across. His eyes show a flash of all different emotions, but after some seconds, one pops out the most. Annoyance.

He huffs, and shrugs past me, bumping my arm while passing me. How immature can he get? August then refrains back to pushing me back to my seat, and takes Ashton's place, and I'm not complaining. Doesn't look like Ashton cares either, because he has retreated to the front. Good riddance.

"You have really good taste in boys you know?" He jokes a little as he takes out his phone and earbuds. I laugh, cause it's true, sadly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Drama just surrounds me okay?" I say, smirking at him. I take my songbook put of my bookbag, and get a pencil. We're going to be here a while, so might as well, write some new songs. It's been a while since I released a new single or album.

"More like you find drama, but okay," he says, and I scoff, fake offended, but he continues, "Just relax though, okay. I know this is going to be really stressful you know, but just remember that you're your own person, and no one can hold you back anymore. Don't let anyone convince you into anything you don't want." He exclaims, and I nod along, knowing kinda what he's saying. It might not seem like it all the time, but August looks out for me, and usually has my best intentions at heart. He's kinda like the older brother I never had, even though we're only cousins.

That's why I hug him, and he hugs back, engulfing me in his huge arms.

"Love you." I tell him, but he knows I mean it in only a platonic way, and the same goes for him. He hugs me tighter.

"Love you too Ames." He replies, and we let go after a few seconds and go back to doing what we were before our little hug sesh, just this time, me with my feet up on his lap.

Instead of writing new songs, I kinda nod off, drool probably dripping down my chin, but I don't care to wipe it off. Any other time, I would snap myself awake, wanting to be alert, but right now, really need the distraction, from the impending doom that I'll be met with in Baffins.