Torn ~ Klance AU Kangst

twenty six - tw

Keiths POV

Lance finally seemed back to his normal mood, I'm happy that he is feeling better mentally.

     I walked out to the kitchen. "Damn it." I whispered to myself, as I looked in the refrigerator. No food, zilch. I have to go food shopping. I walked back to the bedroom and picked out clothes to wear. "What are you doing." Lance mumbled half asleep. "I'm going to get food, would you care to come?" I replied changing. He put a pillow over his head. "I'm good, just get me nutter butters." "Okay, I love you." I walked out the door. I exited the guest house and ran to the beginning of the backyard to Shiros house. I knocked on the door. Shiros Mother came to the door. "Yes dear?" She softly said. "Can you get Shiro?" "Of course dear," She left the doorway and Shiro appeared. "Yea?" "Food shopping get shoes on." He rolled his eyes as he put on his slides. We exited the backyard and walked to the store.

     Small talk, great. "Keith, you know how you said you might be ready for bottom surgery?" I looked at Shiro. "Y-yea" "We maybe able to afford it by March 2019." I swallowed my breathe. I looked away and walked forward. I wasn't mentally okay, I've been out of t-shots for about a month now and I've been noticing changes. And yet I still haven't told Shiro because I feel bad, I haven't even brought it up to lance.

We continued to walk, my body ached and my head is pounding. I assume it is because of what happened on Christmas.

We finally got to the supermarket. I just started to feel more disgusting. I walked ahead of Shiro to the frozens. "Keith," he pulled me close to him, very close. "Your ass is bleeding." He whispered into my ear. I looked at him then looked down. He started to walk me to the bathroom. Luckily it was a single and not stalls. We got into the bathroom and I pulled down my pants. And then here it was, a transgender males worst nightmare, their period. I started to tear up.

"Shiro," I whispered. Shiro was of course facing the other way. "Yes?" "Get tampons, pads, female underwear and pants!" I demanded him. "Are you okay?" "Go!" I shouted. He left the restroom.

I sat on the toilet so no blood wouldn't go anywhere. "Fucking bullshit." I cried to myself. A month without t-shots how did my fucking mind not come across this. I started to have a mental breakdown.

Pounding came to the bathroom door. "It's Shiro." I went up to the door with only my boxers up and opened the door. He rushed in and gave me the stuff. I took it from him and then made him face the wall again.

Once I was done we walked out of the bathroom and soon after the store, that was to much anxiety for me to continue being in public.

Great, small talk. Again. "Keith, how long have you been menstruating for?" He asked silently. "This is the first time I've gotten it in many years." "Did you run out of t?" "Yes, i did. I'm sorry I didn't bring this up earlier." "How much earlier?" "A month." Shiro took a deep breath. "I will try to get an appointment, I'm sorry it was hard with everything that happened."

      "It's alright." I whispered. "No, it's not alright. I know how bad it makes you feel just seeing your feminine clothes. You can talk to me about anything, even if i don't understand, I can adleast try to help. I'm always here for you Keith, don't worry."

     I looked down at the sidewalk. He sounded so hurt. He's not okay and we still haven't talked about what happened with the situation (Lotor, Shiros Suicide attempt, My suicidal thoughts)

     "Shiro?" I murmured. "Yea?" I continued to look at the sidewalk as we walked. I swallowed my breathe. "Why did you try to kill yourself?" I just need to know. Did I trigger him? Or maybe he always feels like that. I'm just scared of his answer. I heard the bag filled with feminine products crinkle as he tightened his grip. "I don't know how to explain." He said with a quieter tone. "If anyone would be able to understand what you're going through, it would be me. Please, I just want to know." "Well, it almost kills me every time I notice you harm. The first time he raped you and I found out, I felt dead. I didn't feel myself after that. Then the situation, I could barely breathe at that point. I suffocated of guilt. All I heard was "it's all your fault" I couldn't deal with it. I just decided, I can't deal with myself anymore. I was ready to die, and y'know whats scary?" "Hm?" "I didn't immediately regret it, it took time, like a week or so." At this point I was looking at him and he was looking down at he sidewalk.

     It's just scary, I don't know if he continues to feel this way, but I can't bring that up. Now I know, it is me. I've been staying strong for him for the longest time, and I think I will try to continue.

     We finally arrived at the house. That walk felt as if it took a month, but I don't regret it. I got to talk to shiro, this was one of the first times we've been alone together in a long time. I appreciate having him around. It is very rare to meet a friend like him, that's when you know they are true, they will do anything and everything (or almost) for you.

     We entered the guest house and saw lance sitting on the couch, eating a poptart. Lance gave me a look a confused puppy would. I gave him a waving gesture to come to my room, so I can talk to him. "Yes, You okay?" Lance wondered. "I'm fine, there's just some issues with my t." He grabbed my hand. "I've been out for a month now." I revealed.

      Then, it hit me. Lance and I. Lotor and I. No condoms, somewhat recent sex. I might actually be pregnant, small periods are sometimes a side effect of pregnancy. It's only been one day so I have a lot to worry about. I dropped down to the floor. I couldn't deal with it. Lance came down next to me. "Babe are you okay?" Lance questioned. I looked up at him with absolute fear.

     "L-lance, I-i might be pregnant." I Said quietly. He walked out. No words came out of his mouth. "What in hell have I done." I whispered. But really what did I do?

A/n I think this is one JUICYYYY chapter! Whatchu think?