Everything Will Be Okay (Kellic)- on temporary hiatus

Class And Why I Hate It

A/N Hey guys! So new fic. This one will deal with some mentally ill themes but there are no triggers. Hope you like it! Also Kellin is kinda girly and what.

"Kellin wake up!" My roommate Tay shouted, throwing one of her overly stuffed neon pink pillows at me. "You're going to miss your morning class again!" I was brought out of dreams of beaches and coconuts to the reality of snow and a stuffy nose.

"Fuck you Tay, go suck a dick," I grumbled into my pillow and flipping her off. The pillow assult didn't stop though so I decided that I better end her rage and actually move.

Getting up this early for math has to be some sort of sin. As of this moment I am the walking dead. Every morning routine is done in a haze; brush your teeth like a robot, wash your body like you have mechanical arms, find something to cover up your body made of tin. Remember to breathe with your rusty lungs. It was pretty hard to breathe with this icy ass wind though.

The walk to my probability class was at least beautiful. The lake was iced over and if you listened closely you could hear the cracks forming and the water shifting. Clairemont is such a beautiful college. For a 19 year old I think I made a good choice regarding my future: there's barely 2000 kids at this school so it's so hard to get in. Remember kids, when you're in high school study hard because it really does help you in the end. Because I mean, look at me now.

***

"How often would the dice land on snake eyes Kellin?" I shot awake at my name, which started a snicker around the classroom. What are we, in middle school??

"Umm can you repeat the question?" I sputtered; Jesus, I sound like an idiot. I made a mental note to slap myself later. Hard.

"See me after class," Dr. Sullez said, a look of disapproval flashing across his features. Oh great. I really do hate this class and anything to do with math. I would definitely classify myself as right brained. I am an English major after all. My eyes fluttered closed. 3, 2, 1... see you later.

***

The sound of chairs and talking brought me slowly out of my daze. Back to reality Kell, come back to the world. I trudged up to Dr. Sullez, listening intently to my Toms squeaking on the ground. Focus Kell you need to focus.

"Mr. Quinn, we need to have a serious conversation about your grades and your tendency to daydream in class." I swallowed hard, I wonder if he heard it, like that exaggerated swallow noise they use in movies.

"I'm going to have to fail you if you keep this behavior up. It's rude, immature and frankly, I know you're better than this." He tapped his foot, waiting for me to come up with some smartass rebuttal like I always do. I might as well tell the truth though.

"Dr. Sullez, I'm really sorry about this. I just can't sleep lately because of my disorder. I'm sorry for your disappointment and I promise to try harder." The good doctor was unable to look me directly in the eye.

"Just try harder to be attentive" He said, nodding to himself. Is he hearing invisible music? Hardcore? Rap? Jazz??

"Thank you sir I will," I said over my shoulder as I shuffled out the door. I wasn't lying though; my disorder has been keeping me up all night. I keep on having racing thoughts, which, by the way, I just looked up last night. Apparently my brain jumps from thoughts to memories running through my head that I'm consciously aware of. Strange right? The nightmares are back too. I constantly am woken up by my own sighs and weird silent screams. I absolutely hate it.

***

Coffee is good every day but especially on a snowy day. I started to pour over my math homework while listening to music.. I popped one of my many pills into my mouth and shot it down with coffee.

I wish I was drinking something stronger. Going out tonight is most likely a bad idea. I have two tests on Monday and a lot of Breaking Bad to catch up on. I'm pathetic right? Whatever. Who needs friends when I can look at Aaron Paul all day. I'm pretty sure that man was the reason I decided to come out last year.

I also have a story to begin. I promised my friend Hannah from home that I'd write her something for her birthday which was in about two weeks. I'm having trouble coming up with a storyline though, which never happens.

Before I knew it classes were over and Tay was getting ready to go out. Before you say anything yes we have coed dorm rooms and Tay has been my best friend since we were kids. She also knows I'm gay so it's cool. No funny buisness even though if I was straight I'd probably go for her. I think I've seen her naked more times than her boyfriend Alex has.

Alex has a lot to put up with though. He isn't a fan of going out so sometimes he just sits in our room and watches movies with me. It's nice having company; not talking, just sitting there sharing a screen. I always wonder what he's thinking during the movie. Is he following the plot? Is he thinking about who Tay could be dancing with right now? Is he thinking about the fact that it's fucking creepy that I'm trying to figure out what he's thinking about?

We decided to watch It's Kind Of A Funny Story tonight. It's both of our favorites. Who wouldn't like a movie about a kid who falls in love at a mental hospital? That shit needs to happen to me.

Sometimes I think that Alex is my best friend on campus. I mean we did grow up together but I'm still glad Tay decided to date him or I would have missed out. If they break up I might have to kill her.

Half way through the movie Alex turned to me, his shaggy hair covering his eyes as he shifting on Tay's bed. He didn't look at me; he looked up at the ceiling, at the glow in the dark stars that spanned the tiles. I felt like he was going to say something. His mouth opened slightly, nervously.

"I've been to one of those hospitals once."

Wait...WHAT? My mind raced all of a sudden, coming up with different reasons why he could have gone there, reasons why I went there.

"Do not, I mean do not, tell Tay, okay Kell?"

I gave him a firm nod and paused the movie. I wasn't going to miss it or the conversation because I'm pretty sure shit was about to get real.

"Why were you there Alex?" Alex, the guy with a 4.0, the guy who barley drinks and would rather read a Stephen King book than go out. Alex, who is the exact opposite of Tay has been to a mental hospital. Alex, who is just like me and doesn't know it.

Alex continued to stare at the ceiling. "It was in the summer. I just wasn't feeling right so they took me there. I uh, I never said this out loud so it's hard, but I tried to kill myself. My dad walked in while I was loading the gun. I'm okay now though, I was just so overwhelmed; school, work, Tay, and my own brain were just so confusing and hard to deal with."

I nervously played with my hair and looked to the paused tv. Can I just put my life on pause for a moment please? God?

"I'm sorry, I felt like I just had to tell someone and I feel like I can always trust you, you're the only one who will listen."

"Of course I'll listen so never forget that. You 're my friend and you mean so much to me and I don't care how cheesy that sounds." I swallowed hard, playing with my fingers.

"I've been to one too."

And that's when Alex finally made eye contact.

A/N Woo! Again I just want you guys to know that this will NOT center around the hospital, it plays a small role and I'm only saying it because I don't want you to think it's like my first fic. Also there will be Vic shortly so don't walk out just yet!!! ;)