Covenant (A Lapidot Fanfiction)

Chapter 23: Reassurance

I started the next morning with no desire to actually leave my bed. I only gained the motivation when I looked over and saw Lapis laying next to me, sleeping quietly and breathing evenly. That was when I finally got out of bed. I approached the mirror to see how disastrous I really looked. It took me a few seconds to see the pale lavender patches of skin under my eyes. A sleepless night, indeed. An exhausting one. I yawned and walked downstairs, leaving Lapis to sleep as long as she needed. When I walked downstairs, Mom was there. She was an early riser. I expected that.

"Good morning, Peridot," she said. "Would you like some tea?"

"I'm gonna go for some coffee today, actually," I answered.

"Are you tired?" Mom asked.

"Very," I answered, yawning again.

"Did you not sleep?" Mom asked.

"I couldn't ever get to sleep," I answered. "I was too busy worrying."

"Even with Lapis sleeping next to you?" Mom asked.

"I don't think it would have been much worse without her next to me," I answered. "Nothing is going to stop me from worrying."

I sat exhaustedly and watched Mom place a warm cup of coffee on the table in front of me. I picked it up and took a sip. At least it tasted good.

"Do you need to take a shower?" Mom asked. "I'm sure it would help you wake up."

"I probably should," I answered. "But let me finish this coffee first."

I sat with the blanket wrapped around myself as I drank my coffee. It remained warm as I continued to drink it. When I had finished it, I put it in the dishwasher and made my way upstairs. I tiptoed into my room and picked out my clothes for the day. Then I snuck out into the bathroom. I undressed and turned on the shower water. I waited for it to warm up, and then I stepped in. The water weighed down my hair and made it fall onto my face. It wasn't exactly pleasant, that was for sure.

I began to think again. The possibility that I could lose Lapis was there. It was always there. It never left my head. It haunted me. Losing Lapis was last thing I wanted. Lapis was my love and my life. I wouldn't be able to lose her without losing myself as well. What about the baby? I wouldn't be able to nurse her. What would I do? I barely noticed the tears on my face. They blended in too well with the water from the shower faucet. I hated feeling so vulnerable like this. I was supposed to be strong.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. I tried my best to fix my hair, and I eventually settled on putting it up in a messy bun. It would do for now. I would take it down later to let it dry.

I picked up my clothes to start putting them on when I realized that my shirt was missing. I must have dropped it. I put on the rest of my clothes and walked out of the bathroom. Lapis had met me there, holding my shirt.

"This was on the floor," she said.

"Thanks," I replied.

I took the shirt and put it on. Turns out Mom was right. I was feeling more awake.

"Did you sleep well last night?" I asked.

"Yeah," Lapis answered. "I slept like a baby." She giggled. "Well, I slept like how our baby sleeps during the day. I think she's nocturnal."

I let myself smile. "I'm glad you slept well," I said.

"How about you?" Lapis asked. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept..." I found myself suddenly dazzled by her blue eyes, patiently but eagerly awaiting my answer. For some reason, I felt I couldn't lie. I sighed in defeat. "I didn't sleep last night."